Things that I noticed in Niagara Falls over the weekend.

- The Hard Rock Cafe is the most overrated restaurant in the world.
- I should be traveling in limos all of the time.
- My liver needs to have a shut down switch in my brain when I have had too much to drink.  It should just power me down similar to a robot.

Youth Lagoon - Wondrous Bughouse - 8.8/10

This is the first great album of the year.  Dreamy melodies without too much overdubbing of the vocals.  The album allows for open sessions of guitar and drums, but keeps the sound contained.  I find it very similar to Real Estate and Deerhunter.

If you are going to make a camping video can you please use a different voice then monotone city?  It's already a boring topic for most of the human race, but when you add in that you have a similar voice to every math teacher in the Listowel District Secondary School system you make me sad and tired.

Now I remember, our limo driver looked liked Mr. Belding from Saved by the Bell.  That's been bothering me for two days.

Key and Peele are fantastic.  These are the two dudes that were on Mad TV and they have their own sketch show now.  Here's a little bit of a taste.

Every time that Rodriguez comes on my shuffle Ipod list it makes me feel wonderful.  Maybe he has it built in that my Ipod shoots out cocaine when his music comes on.

Things spraying out of your Ipod is an interesting concept.  Whenever country music comes on the Ipod my Ipod would just make fart noises and fart smells.

The Canadian dude for the Gonzaga team looks extremely Canadian.  Even if I never watched basketball he is the guy that I would guess would be Canadian.

Slopitch season coming up very shortly.  We have a symbol now for the Hissing Cucaracha's.  Don't judge me if the symbol is a cockroach with a taco and a beer in his hand.

How do you sell living in Nunavut?  It's either dark for 20 hours or light for 20 hours, and it's cold as hell most of the year.  Maybe we should just send all criminals of the worst crimes north of Nunavut.  I would never do anything against the law if I knew Nunavut was the consequence.

If you want to put people on edge just keep holding a knife all of the time.  Even if it's a butter knife it will still make them uncomfortable.

There is no way for a guy to look tough knitting.  Even if you were knitting a Metallica Kill em All scarf  you still would not look tough.

Have you ever gave your wife or husband a hickey after the age of 25 by accident?

For the sci-fi convention in a couple of weekends I think I am going to rock a burgundy sleeveless turtleneck.

Watched Sound City this morning.  This is Dave Grohl's documentary of a studio in California that had some of the biggest albums of all time made there.  It was fantastic to hear the stories from the studio.  How Fleetwood Mac got it's start.  How Nirvana recorded Nevermind.  It's also a bit depressing when they were discussing how the software program Pro Tools has killed the studio album.

Doesn't Dave Grohl seem like the ambassador for the bands that actually play with instruments to the fans of the auto tune/over produced computer music?  I am quite bias in this regard.  I feel like great music is being ripped away from me because there is no money in being an actual band anymore, and eventually the love of actual music won't be enough to pay the bills and it will be gone completely.  Unless real music lovers make a stand and start supporting real bands by going to their shows and buying their music, real musicians will be gone for good and we will be stuck with computer generated harmonies and auto tuned voices.   As much as I smack talk the hipsters.   At least bands like Vampire Weekend and Mumford and Sons play instruments and have a decent amount of talent.  Things will never go back to the way they were, but we need to support the talented bands that don't get the radio love. 

Sound City - 8.4/10
End of Watch 8.5/10
Killing them Softly 7.0/10  (Brad Pitt is in it.  If you enjoy Lock Stock and movies of that sort check it out)

People that have a surprised look on their face while eating flowers make me happy.

Niagara Falls is tomorrow.  Can't wait to go to Silversmith Brewery again.  They are going to have a dude there that is making pulled pork sandwiches for the group.  That is a great meal to start off a day of wineries and breweries.

Chocolate Factory is overrated.  I just can't distinguish great chocolate from mediocre chocolate.  I am not really sure if I could ever pretend to be interested in it either.

If you are going to have a window that shows things being made.  The workers should at least have the appearance of being happy.  "Here's Andy, he hates his job, and he will be making your chocolate for you today.  Wave to Andy, Oh he gave us the finger back.  Oh Andy you so silly."

Online contests seem hopeless, Sara won a flight to the Yukon which makes me keep entering them.

There is something dirty about having a scrap on your knee when you are 34 years old.

Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel are by far the best late night hosts.  They haven't got that swarmy I am so much funnier then everybody else in the world attitude yet.  Yeah I am looking at you Letterman, Conan, and Leno.

Amazon is having exclusive TV shows coming out now.  Netflix has already begun this.  This is the future. Bell is going to be in big trouble in the next ten years.  We specialize in home phone and satellite tv.  Yikes!

As a man there is nothing worse then slicking your hair straight back.  Three things come to everybody's head when you slick back your hair.  Slimy salesman, pedophile, or being evil.  Don't slick back your hair.

What's the lowest common denominator for humour?  Farting, bathroom stories, or sex.  Is this your go to humour?  Look in the mirror and say you can change.  You can be funnier, you can come up something wittier then using a woman's words against her in a sexual context.

 Bought a scale recently to weigh camping equipment.  People at work did not believe me that it was for camping equipment.  They thought it was for all of the baking that I do.

Lens Mills is a great store.  I have no idea where anything is, and I have no idea what half of the stuff is there, but everything in the store is interesting. 

Hostess chips only seem to be available at the worst of grocery stores.  Back in the day getting a Junkyard Dog wrestling sticker was the best part of my week and it came in a Hostess chip bag.

Do kids go outside anymore? 

Would you go for a partial hard drive wipe of your brain to experience things again for the first time? 

No, Monday morning brain.  Peanut Butter does not go in the Fridge.

Was on the American side of Niagara Falls for the past couple of days.  The Canadian side has obviously done a much better job of promoting and building up the city. 

New Iphone!  I can't believe how much of a difference that this phone makes in my life.  I can scroll through meaningless Facebook posts at an outstanding pace.

Missing free waffle breakfast because of the time change makes for an angry Sara.

Team Canada struggled mightily at the World Baseball Classic.  Did anyone even know that was on?  Or even know what it is?

Fan Expo has introduced a sports section for this August.  I found this exciting myself.  Martin Brodeur, Hulk Hogan, Joe Montana, Bobby Orr, and others will be there.  What do the sci-fi message boards say about this?  They think that this will bring out all of the idiot jocks, and it will be like high school all over again.  Question:  Do they have a right to feel this way?  Or is being a nerd cool now, and they will be able to mix without any problems?  My thought is that I couldn't care less about what anybody thinks, and I will take them on in a sports trivia contest, and whip their ass dressed as Mexican Batman.

Started watching the X-Files again.  Looking a little dated, but the show is still tense and solid for the most part.

Vikings - new show on the History channel.  If you enjoyed Spartacus, you will enjoy Vikings.  Same director, and same feel. 

Gave in and bought some shoes for work from the States.  Didn't think I could get away with sharpied liquor bags for very much longer.

Junip is coming to town on June 10th in Toronto.  Anyone interested?

Went for a walk in Niagara called the Devil's Hole.  Beautiful day for a walk.  According to the unreliable temperature gauge in my car it was 21 degrees. 

Petting a dog is very therapeutic.  It makes only having five hours of sleep before work less terrible.

Robot Chicken is overrated.  I understand that using retro children's characters is big business right now.  But just putting them in potty mouth situations doesn't make it funny.  Well funny for a certain crowd.  "Oh man, Skeletor asked He-Man to put his Catholic Boy style haircut to good use."  Seth Green, I made that one up, you don't even get credit for that one.

K-OS is coming to the Starlight in April.  Anyone interested?  Bueller!  Bueller!

I will be in Niagara again in a couple of weeks for a girl from works birthday.  I feel very girls night out by renting a limo and going to a bunch of wineries.  I just picture all of us spilling out of the limo with wine bottles, and pushing each other into the bushes.  I have been asked to jump out of the cake, but Sara said no.  I have to disappoint so many women.

Ilya Bryzgalov is my mortal enemy.  So is Jakub Voracek.  Bryzgalov is brutal, but Voracek was dropped from my fantasy team, and promptly started to light it up right after.

Jimi Hendrix has another new album out.  Where are they finding all of this stuff?

Justin Bieber is starting to lose it a little bit.  In every other society, people would tend to leave him alone.  Give him some privacy, allow him to get back on his feet.  Not Canadians, and Americans.  Let's see him crack.  Take more photos, take more photos.






 

Is it in the contract that Lena Dunham's boobs have to be shown 2.5 times or more in every episode? The show is beautifully written, and is nothing like any other show that I have seen.  The sex to be perfectly honest gets in the way of the shows feel. I know that I am a hyprocite. I have no problem with Lucy Lawless being naked in Spartacus all of the time.

Raves can go to hell. One person at a laptop shaking his hand in the air and bobbing his head. Pressing buttons on a computer. Why would you want to see a DJ live anyways? You can get the exact same experience at home. Just turn off the lights, crank the music, and maybe purchase a strobe light. You can get the exact same experience for much cheaper.

Starting in Cleveland, then going to Cincy, then Chicago, then Pittsburgh.  How does this sound for my first ever baseball trip?  Does anyone want to come?  It will be happening next year though not this year.

Very proud of my wife. She is going to be on a game show.  It tapes March 19th, this is all I am legally allowed to say about it.

Aren't there just some people that you want to punch in the face? You are not really sure why you dislike them so much to want to cause physical damage to them, but you understand that you would get some satisfaction out of it.

Went to Yuk Yuk's the other night, and finally witnessed a terrible comic. The second guy wasn't much better. He just stuck to talking to the audience routine. The first guy was actually booed when he called out the audience for being so terrible. That's a big no no in the world of comedy my friend.

There is a girl that I know that would win the award for being the bitchiest person on earth. I can't think of one person that likes her. You know you are doing something wrong when every person that you know dislikes you. That seems like it would be tough to do.

Sometimes I get people with physical disabilities and people really drunk mixed up, and I feel bad about it.

There hasn't been one movie that I have wanted to see in the past two or three weeks. After going on a great streak for about a month or so. Hollywood is scraping the bottom of the barrel now.

Identity Thief - 3.2/10 

I didn't even make it through the whole movie.  Would anybody be angry If I punched Melissa McCarthy in the throat?  She even screwed up a sketch that involved her dressing as Jimmy Kimmel as a woman causing havoc in a convenience store.  Could you have a joke on a nicer silver platter?

Tool has postponed their new album because of an injury to one of their band members. He was involved in a scooter accident. Not sure how I feel about my in my 20's favourite band having a member owning a scooter.

Over or under? How many bags of chips have I eaten in my lifetime? 7800?

I have been losing bets for multiple lunches at work. The Flyers keep on getting beat by the Leafs.

Are Leaf tickets the worst value on Earth? On average they are about $150.00 each. I feel the same about this as I feel about buying beers on an airplane.

How does Lindsay Lohan age five years for every one that she lives?

Watched this documentary about how the baby boomers are being marketed incorrectly.  Everybody just wants them to go into their retirement homes and just die off, but they want to live damn it, they want to live.

Not sure how I feel about being called "honey" or "dear" on the phone at work.  I feel that I have to be extremely nice to the person on the other line when they are calling me these words.

Writing is therapeutic for me.  It always makes me feel better after I write in my blog.  For everybody that reads it, I hope that you get some level of enjoyment out of it.  And for those that have been requesting pictures of me without my shirt on to be attached to the blog.  I am sorry, my wife said no.