True Story - Was at a medical office recently.  While sitting there one of the nurses comes out with a confused look on her face.

"Is there a la-a here?"  She pronounces it la "pause" a.  She repeats it again.  A bigger African American lady stands up and says with attitude.  "It's pronounced Ladasha." Mind blown!

Doesn't it feel like Adrian Peterson is turning into the next Barry Sanders.  Poor guy is in the prime of his career.  Best running back on the planet, and you give him a combination of Christian Ponder and Matt Cassel to work with? 

Finally Microsoft has combated Apple's original commercials.  Saw this commercial recently and thought it was pretty good.

Where in the world is Sara Dhooma?  She is currently in Nepal, about to hike Mt. Everest base camp.  What are you doing today?

The Pittsburgh Pirates are going to the playoffs.  I will be at Allstar Wings and Ribs on Highland in Kitchener to watch the game for anybody that wants to join me.  Just look for the dude with wing sauce all over his face, and tears of happiness running down his face.  It will also probably be the guy sitting by himself.

Sasquatch's are utilized in most commercials properly.

I have rarely seen a following to a show similar to the one I saw for Breaking Bad.  It was very cool to see this.  Especially for such a well written, beautifully directed piece of Television.  Now if we could only get music on board with what's going with Television.  Let's sing along.  Everything popular in music is still shitty.

Veal Stew

3tbsp of olive oil, saute onions, garlic, and carrots.  Add cubed veal, and cook till brown.  Add 1/2 cup of white wine and one can of tomato sauce.  Add salt and pepper for flavour.  Simmer for an hour on low heat.  Add two potatoes cubed to the stew.  Simmer for another half hour or until carrots and potatoes are cooked through.  Enjoy with naan bread.

One thing that I have hard time getting over is that my face goes bright red when being put on the spot.  I would be a terrible criminal.  This is another one of my terrible X-Men powers.  This goes well with having to go to bathroom when I sense danger.

Top 3 things that will make you look like a douchebag

3 - Wearing a bluetooth headset inside a retail establishment
2 - Driving your car ridiculously fast around a retail parking lot.
1 - Wearing a UFC hat without a bent peak, while having it barely sit on top of your head.

If the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Oakland A's meet in the World Series.  Oh I would just die.

They should make all the intelligent, kind, generous, talented men give sperm for the next generation of the human race.  I have seen the future, and the number one television show in the future is called "Ow, my balls!"  All rights reserved to the wonderful movie called "Idiocracy."

Things would be a lot easier if people actually did have a light bulb turn on above their head when they have a great idea.

Now You See Me - 6.0/10

Recently started physiotherapy and massage therapy for my left shoulder.  As most of you probably know at one time in my brilliant career I was a starting pitcher for the Listowel Legionnaires.  I was a grizzled veteran that threw only junk at the age of 21.  I wore a Pink Floyd jean jacket out to the mound, and came out to Hells Bells by AC/DC.  I am pretty sure that I probably had a smoke in my mouth when I entered the game as well.  This all sounds extremely tough I know.  I also only threw about 65 MPH.  This might have taken some of the toughness away.  But it's all about deception in division "D" baseball. 

I was told recently that kids in High School are having their upcoming assignments and tests sent to their parents to make sure that they are studying for them.  "Here comes the airplane, make sure you eat all your vegetables, do you want me to go to your job interview for you today honey?  Don't worry, you just play Grand Theft Auto, Mommy will take care of everything."  Sounds like they should succeed just fine in the real world. 

Oakland needs to relax.  There is a good chance that if they pass the Red Sox that they won't be playing the Tigers in the first round.  Now that's fine and dandy that they won't have to face Verlander and Scherzer in the first two games, but Daryl won't be able to see the games if they are in Tampa.  Well????  It actually might be cheaper to fly to Tampa, and pay $4.00 per ticket there.  Hmmmm, interesting!!!

Bryan Cranston loses best actor to Jeff Daniels?  With one glare from Bryan Cranston, Jeff Daniels turns into his character from Dumb and Dumber and has to go to the bathroom.

Here's an update on what Sara has been up to recently.  She won $7200 on a game show called Spin Off that was on TV last week.  She leaves for Nepal this coming Saturday.  She is also currently working on the cure for Scurvy.  She has it narrowed down to Vitamin C and High C juice.

Monopoly started back up at McDonald's.  Here's the time that I compensate by eating the healthiest dinners so I can eat the unhealthiest breakfast each and every day.  It's all worth it for that one cheeseburger that I get free every two weeks.

Phil Kessel - if you would prefer not to fight a 6'8" giant.  Don't run your mouth off.  Sometimes I enjoy when this type of stuff happens.  It triggers my pure hatred for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

The pure definition of you do absolutely nothing job  Social Media Director for a company.

Funny video about the new Iphone.

I never thought it was odd that I was getting my haircut at the place where I currently get my haircut until I actually looked around the room and realized that I was the only customer they had under the age of 60.  This might be why my hair looks like Christoper Reeves from Superman.

Top 3 ways to break through a wooden fence that people will enjoy to watch.

3 - Kicking through a fence with steel toed boots on
2 - Freaking out on it with a baseball bat
1 - Putting your head through it, and then looking at the person on the other side like Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds.

Nicknames are starting to become a thing of the past.  Nicknames need to stick around.  There is nothing better than coming up with a nickname that perfectly suits a persons personality.  Mine for example is the Master.

Let me save you some time for those that are looking for a new show to watch.

Sleepy Hollow - Would rather put down 6 chips in line on the floor and eat them in a straight line like a dog.
Under the Dome - Are the NY Jets and Jacksonville Jaguars on instead?
Top of the Lake - Like finding that Reece Pieces candy in the middle of the trail mix bag.  Fantastic show if you don't understand the reference.  Or if you really enjoy the bark in a trail mix bag.

Have you ever seen someone dragged away from a conversation by their ear?  I don't think that even happened in the real world.

 Is their anything more frustrating than attempting to put the thread through that little hole in a needle.  Not that I have done this in 10 years, but having to look at Sara's sewing kit reminds me of grade 9 trying to make a fabric football with the Edmonton Eskimos team colours and being frustrated after it was all over.  For some reason I sweat quite a bit more than usual when trying to thread a needle. 

Recently went to a pub in Kitchener that serves up local fine craft beer.  And no, this place is not called Imbibe.  It's called The Bent Elbow.  They have 23 beers on tap at any given time and have fairly decent food as well.  The best part about the pub is that in the men's washroom they have a urinal, and the handle of the urinal is a Bud Light handle.  If you don't understand the reference there is a good chance that Bud Light is your beer of choice.  Never had such a good time in a men's washroom.  That came across awful, but still needed to be said.

What is with all the Nintendo stats in the NFL this year.  Multiple 400 yd passing games.  Receivers breaking 150 yds on a consistent basis.  I guess it makes for exciting football, but it's looking an awful lot like the CFL out there right now. 

This is the End - 9.5/10

What a wonderful movie.  Each Hollywood star portraying an extreme version of them self. Danny McBride, Michael Cera, and Emma Watson are all fantastic.

You have all seen the homeless dudes at the light posts at busy intersections.  It is never the same homeless dude though.  Do they have shifts?  "You get the light post from 8-10am and I will take it from 10-12pm."  Is there a chain of command?  Don't take Larry's light post at 7am if you know what's good for you.  I saw him whisker rub somebody to death once." 

Made tacos last night, and felt the strange urge to fry the vegetables instead of putting them on top at the end.  What a brilliant move, my only brilliant move of the day.  Fried onions and green peppers are absolutely phenomenal on tacos.  It had my mouth watering similar to Lindsay Lohan's mouth when she thinks about mixing cars and alcohol together.

Last night was the last co-ed slopitch game of the year.  I was the last out on a terrible pitch to swing at.  I might as well have taken a nine iron out attempted to hit the ball with that.  There is nothing tougher than a man yelling "shoot" at the top of his lungs because of his consideration for children.

Driving to Pittsburgh for a baseball playoff game.  Would anyone like to join me?  Only serious applicants should apply.

Went for a massage recently.  There is something in the man's brain that will never say that something hurts too much.  My masseuse is a very strong woman.

Top 3 foods that I have been missing out on until I was exposed to the beauty of them, and regret not trying or loving them earlier.

3 - Horse Radish
2 - Mahi Mahi and just about everything fish related, but especially Mahi Mahi fish.
1 - Everything Indian food. 

This is going to be the next huge thing on the intranets.  You heard it here first.  Actually it might already be a huge thing, but I would like to look sharp here.

When there is a Doritos bag around your sitting area it might be the hardest thing of all time to not open the bag and start eating them.  Even if it's 8am there's a good chance that I will open the bag and eat at least three until I realize what I am doing.  I will then eat one more and put the bag down.  My brain with then tell my mouth that it's OK to have just one more.  Then it goes in the cupboard so I don't have to look at them anymore.

Watched the documentary Black Fish recently.  This is a documentary about Killer Whales being in the possession of aquariums and having children and adults riding them, and having them do tricks for food.  In this case ignorance is not bliss.

Arctic Monkey's - AM - 8.0/10
Washed Out  - Pharacosm - 8.3/10

It's been years since I really enjoyed something that the Arctic Monkey's put out.  This album has quite a bit of their earlier sound incorporated into it, but sounds a little more grown up and spread out through the record.  Solid, solid, solid!!!

Own a leather jacket that has fur around the neck.  I am not sure what the fur is made of, but my neck has a rash on it after I wear this thing for more than an hour.  Sometimes a rash is worth looking absolutely fantastic for a small amount of time.

Here's a way that you don't sell your establishment having your Christmas Party.  "We will put out the buffet on the pool tables."

There is nothing your brain will hate more for than you sniffing on a magic marker because you like the smell.

Went to the Toronto International Film Festival to see Oculus starring Karen Gillan and Katee Sackhoff last night.  Katee Sackhoff was at the opening, as were a few of the other actors that were in the movie.  Fantastic creepy movie, that had a real Shining feel to it.


Oculus - 8.9/10
World War Z - 5.5/10


One thing that I noticed about hipsters that I hadn't realized before.  They don't laugh.  They are generally trying to be wittier than the other person within the conversation.  The wittiness bar just increases and increases with no actual laughter.  It is tiring being with hipsters.

Driving home from Toronto there is nothing scarier than seeing those construction arrows cutting down the highway down to one lane.  It was actually more terrifying than the movie.  We got through the construction unscathed, but being in a traffic jam at 3am is one of my worst nightmares.

Matt Mays is playing an acoustic set later on in September at the Starlight for anybody that would like to join me in seeing him.

There are some contests that I was entering recently.  Having dinner with Justin Trudeau was one of them.  You are asked to donate to the Liberal party after you have entered the contest.  Is there anything worse than you can give your money to than a political party?  There are 6789 different charities that are more deserving of my money.

Bacon Wrapped Meatloaf, just thought I would throw that out there.

Why are there burgers that now have french fries on it?  Fries are always the side anyways.  Do you not have time to make two separate hand motions?  Maybe we should also throw the coke in there as well.


Sara was telling me that there are countries that she has visited that you can pay money to throw a grenade and blow up livestock.  I know that this isn't funny, but I still laughed.  Just the thought of blowing up a cow makes me laugh.

Oh the poor karaoke people that can't actually sing, but believe they can sing.  You poor souls.  "Oh, yes, bring up Frank again.  Oh he's going to sing Paradise by the Dashboard Lights?  Right on, that's only an eight minute song.  I am going to get a drink."

It's week one and my fantasy team has already made me angry.

 I sometimes think that I would like to live in Toronto.  Then I spend some time there.

Top 3 female athletes that terrify me.

3 - Serena Williams
2 - Venus Williams
1 - The Williams Sisters



At work recently I was talking to a customer that had just had a cigarette.  She was talking a little too close to me, and all I could smell was tobacco.  After talking to her I felt like I had a cigarette myself.  The taste was in my mouth until lunch time.  Gum was no match for the stale smoke out of this 50 year old woman that looked like she was 84.  She could be a tobacco mouthed Medusa.

Oh those are nice pictures of the sunset in Kitchener.  Please show me some more pictures like that. 


Watching somebody being dragged by a really fast lawnmower is something that I would like so see in my lifetime.

You always envision a bean bag chair as this comfy thing that you are going to be so productive on.  Meanwhile you sit on it for ten minutes.  Maneuvering for all ten minutes, and then say this stinks I am going back to the couch.  Then it loses it's beads on the floor somehow and you have to clean it up.  Don't buy a bean bag chair.

NFL starts up tomorrow night.  The defending Super Bowl Champions start on the road against the Denver Broncos.  In Denver they have two giant posters up at Mile High .  One of Peyton Manning and one of Joe Flacco.  Two things wrong here.  Why are the Ravens starting on the road?  Why does Denver have a giant poster of Joe Flacco?  I am pretty sure that you don't need to advertise NFL football in Denver.

You would think a few things at the age of 35 would subside.  One of them would be acne on your face.  Getting a pimple on your nose is rough enough as a teenager.  As a 35 year old man, I need to grow a patchy beard to show that I shouldn't be working the fry station at a taco bell.

Anybody have another NFL pool for me to join?  I am only in about 10 now.  It's a part time job for me during the NFL season. 

When you come in for a job interview regardless for what it's for.  Put some type of effort into it.  Jeans and a MMA shirt does not cut it for any job.  If you wouldn't hire yourself there is something wrong.

Yes, yes, yes, I finally started watching Breaking Bad.  And yes it is as addictive as the meth that they make.
Yes, Bryan Cranston deserves every award he gets.  Shaking! "now let me get back to it."


Playing it cool after you tweak your back trying to lift an 18L water bottle is difficult to do.  The dude saw how much I was struggling with it.  He gave me the "you OK there?"  I gave him the "Yeah man, all good just trying to get a better grip."

Didn't like hearing the story about St. Jacobs.  Crappy things are going to happen.  I wish that we could pick and choose where the crappy things could happen.  If one of the Apple buildings burnt down they could probably build another one within 65 seconds.

Saskatchewan - the place where you can watch your dog run away for days.

Looking for hockey equipment.  I haven't played hockey in years, but feel that I could be an asset to each and every rec team that is looking for a great beer drinker and somebody that can make them feel better about their own hockey skills.

Top 3 video games that at one point owned the party, and now....

3 - Mario Party
2 - Guitar Hero/Rock Band
1 - Everything Nintendo Wii

I remember going over to people's houses just to play the Wii.  If somebody asked me to go over to their house to play their Wii now I would have to come up with an excuse.  Maybe that I am knee deep into a game of Operation.

Meanwhile in Japan -  They have maid cafe's.  The premise of going to these cafe's is that you order a tea or coffee, and a dessert and then play a kids game with a girl that is in their mid 20's that is dressed as a teenager.  Everybody gets really excited when you win at the game and you receive a picture with your server.  This is weird enough, but being that Sara was pretty much the only girl there and practically everyone that was there was in their 40's it was very odd. 

Star Trek - Into Darkness - 7.5/10
42 - 7.7/10

Star Trek wasn't bad, but they ripped off too much story line from the original Wrath of Khan and have very weak female characters in the movies.  As far as action goes, it was excellent.  Disappointed though overall.  Captain Kirk is not as big of a dick as he is portrayed in these movies. 

Do you enjoy the cringe worthy interviews when the interviewer is going for the laughs and interviewee doesn't know it's supposed to be funny?  Watch the MTV interview with the dude from the National.  Painful!

Tough week ahead for those people heading off to College and University.  Frosh week has damaged quite a few livers over the years.  Don't let yours be next.

I'm tired! The absolute worst way to answer how you are doing.   When you are asked how you are doing the person is only asking out of pure politeness.  They generally don't really care how you are doing unless you have a positive answer or something actually interesting to tell them.  By answering tired you have now made things uncomfortable by making the other person ask why you are tired.  This is the beginning of a terrible conversation.  Another option you could use is saying something out of the ordinary like that you just ate a submarine sandwich from Mr. Sub and that they have a drug addict that served you.  This will be much more interesting for all parties.  Thank You, and have a great day.

Daryl Smith MD