Spraining your ankle while playing slopitch seems like such a waste of an injury.  There is nothing impressive with telling somebody that you injured your ankle going for a ground ball at shortstop in a co-ed slopitch game.  This is why I make up that I injured it hiking the Grand Canyon, sounds tougher.

The release of World War Z was underwhelming at best.  One interesting thing came out of it though.  They are now selling $50.00 tickets that include a digital copy of the movie, and other goodies.  Quite costly, but if you want to own the movie earlier then everybody else then this seems like a good idea.  Plus if you torrent there will be copies up early.  Everybody wins!

While watching the news last night there was a story about how buying LCBO gift cards for teachers as year end gifts is on the rise.  Standing ovation!  They are the ones that put up with a lot of shitty kids throughout the year.  They do need a drink.

I regard the newest generation of young adults as the bailing generation.  Make plans, up too late last night, haven't heard from this person in a while, bail on plans, repeat.

Flyers bought out Bryzgalov yesterday.  Bought out Briere a couple of days before.  I have a terrible feeling that they are going to go after either Luongo or Mike Smith.  In typical Flyers style they will probably deal Giroux to the Kings for Matt Frattin, and then sign Mike Smith to a 8 year 40 million dollar deal. 

There is still nothing better then telling someone to "Take off eh!"

Purchased a package of fun dip recently.  What they hell was I thinking as a child?

Kanye and Kim have named their child North.  So the child's name is North West.  You named your child after a direction?  You have already made him a douche bag at one day old.

I have been working on a manlier handshake recently, but just realize that the harder that I squeeze the harder they squeeze and I try to play it cool, but it frakkin hurts.

It's really difficult to screw up making bread.  Somehow this sunflower bread that I have purchased tastes like a bread made by a monkey with no culinary experience.

Every electronic device please rise in unison to use the same charger.

Even as a child I knew that sexual smurfs jokes weren't funny.  I understand that smurfette was the only girl in the whole village.  Oh that's the joke? 

Even to this day thinking about somebody skating and not knowing how to stop so they run into the boards makes me laugh.

You poor people that can't says your "s" properly.  I feel for you.

Started watching Under the Dome.  This is a new series based on the book by Stephen King.  When you start ripping off plots from the Simpsons you know you have hit a new low.  Also I don't care and am not doing any research on this if the book came out first so don't bother responding with this.


Where is the most awkward situation to be nude?  Kindergarton class having to help kids put on their outdoor gear.

Ever look at somebody's Facebook page and see that they went to University?  Then just think to yourself,  They will let anyone into University.

For those Leaf fans that don't know anything about Jonathan Bernier.  You have just traded for a top flight goalie and gave up a top 9 forward, a backup goalie, and a second rounder.  I think you did alright.  Just because you haven't heard of him doesn't mean he isn't good.

Iron Man 3 - 8.5/10
Spring Breakers - 6.1/10
James Franco in Spring Breakers - 9.8/10

Franco as a drug dealing thug with gold teeth is unbelievable.  It's hard not to laugh right at the start because of how ridiculous he looks, but by the middle of the movie you barely notice that it's Franco.  Without Franco in this movie it would have been just awful.

Justin Bieber now has a video of himself giggling uncontrollably while high in a hotel room.  Welcome to every single persons early 20's.  Just don't record and post it online next time.

Has there ever been a villain or hero that has cut somebody's head off with a piece of vinyl?

I have already reviewed the new National album, but I would like to inform everyone that I have now upgraded my review to 9.2/10.

People at the shop are now spreading the Letterkenny You Tube videos.  Best thing about it, they didn't get it from me.  "You're 10 ply bud."

Do you ask the same question in different ways hoping to get a different answer?  You get three chances, then you get punched in the throat.

One thing that every person in the world has done. Tickled someone until they got that awkward "stop it" at the end.

Jack White owns a vinyl making machine.  This is one of the many reasons that Jack White is awesome.

Sara leaves this week to go to the Chillkoot Trail in the Yukon.  There are warnings for snow in certain areas of the Chillkoot.  They recommend an ice axe in particular areas.  Daryl is not going on this trip.  I am going to have a hard time adjusting to sitting on the dock at my cottage I might need an axe to cut the wood to have a fire, but that's about it.  Yes, picture it.  No shirt on, sweat dripping down my brow, my excessive muscle mass putting on a show in a mesmerizing performance.

Samsung paid Apple in trucks full of nickels for the lawsuit that Apple won.  This should always happen.  If I get sued I would like to pay in empties.

What happened to the days of people wearing rock band t-shirts?  I own a pile of rock shirts.  They used to be cool.  Only thing that I can think of is that you are embarrassed by your Kenny Chesney t-shirt.  It just doesn't have the same effect when you have a giant picture of a DJ at his laptop as it does having Jimi Hendrix lighting a guitar on fire.

Why can't my stomach tell my brain exactly what it wants to eat.  You know that perfect meal.  You just sit there eating it, and say I couldn't have made a better decision.

All you can eat tacos next weekend at the Museum in Kitchener.  Imbibe will be supplying the beer, and the top 10 restaurants in KW will be making their tacos.  Well, well, well....  This might be the best day of my life. 

Completed the Laura Secord hike on Saturday.  Then completed a pint of Silver Smith Black Lager, then completed a pulled pork sandwich at Imbibe.  I would say this was a successful Saturday.

Warm Bodies - 7.1/10

There are not many story lines that you can complete with zombies that haven't already been done, but this movie/book does just that by having you inside the zombies head instead of the humans.  Little too romantic in parts, but overall fairly solid.

The National played a free show in Toronto recently.  I like the idea of this if I could only have whoever I wanted there, and didn't have to wait for beer or washrooms.  Is this asking too much?

Jays have won seven in a row, and Jose Reyes is due back soon.  They might be too far back to make a real run at this thing, but it be nice to get back in the race so I can get to some meaningful games. 

Going golfing with three women that have never golfed before and have been drinking.  Even my patience can wear thin.  Here's a sample conversation.

"Where did my ball go?"
"You just hit it one second ago."
"I wasn't paying attention."


Top 3 worst things that I have drank before the age of 20

3 - Cup full of tobasco  (I was tricked)
2 - Milk first thing in the morning after a night of drinking.
1 - Cigarette infested beer, (this was by mistake.)

When did the 80's preppy villain look come back into style.  You know the John Cusack glasses, deck shoes, and polo golf shirt.  If you are trying to costume someone that is going to close down the ski hill to put up new condos you have pulled it off, but other then that you should try harder.

Kurt Cobain's death and Justin Bieber's birth were in the same year.  Useless knowledge 101.

Why are dogs always associated with root beer?  It's always that tough looking dog that looks like he just broke out of the pound.

Sara has been watching a lot of Appalachian Trail videos to see people that are doing it themselves this year.  Just a tip, if you are running out of money doing the trail don't ask for donations on youtube to keep your trek going.  So you are hiking a trail for months, not working, and not doing it for charity.  I already give money to UI on my pay cheque, thank you.

New Daft Punk album has the same percussionists that Michael Jackson used on the Thriller album.  Now this is something I can get behind and down to.  If you have seen me dance and was probably beaten by me in a dance off you know what I am talking about.

I once got beef noodle soup in my hair when it was long.  This was the day I decided to cut my hair short. 

There is nothing better then the viewing of a sunset at a cottage on the lake.  There may have been other contributing factors to my glorious state, but the sunset was the icing on the cake.

Black Sabbath at the ACC in August.  I am not sure if I can swim through the grease to get to this show, but I must attempt it.

Could you imagine having a cassette player or a VHS player and having to rewind tapes?  The tape has to be back by noon and it's 11:53, and the tape is still rewinding.  This was one of the tensest moments of my young life.

Getting hit with an acoustic guitar in the head must be more painful then it was portrayed on WWE wrestling.  Those guys would just get back up and continue wrestling. 

If a person was running to first base after hitting it, and was hit by the ball with a throw while running to first base would you think he should be called out?  This was a debate that I got in with a person in co-ed sloptich.  So I can just throw the ball as hard as I can similar to dodgeball to get people out now.  Nice!

Just had a listen to the new Black Sabbath album.  This is my all time band, and I was terrified when I heard that they had a new album coming out.  The philosophy would you rather burn out then fade away echoed in my head.  Old guys can still hammer it down.

Black Sabbath 13 - 8.2/10

Went to see Junip at the Great Hall in Toronto the other night.  The Great Hall can fit about 400 people and we were about 30 feet from the stage.  I was "wooooing" in my most high pitched voice, took off my shirt, and still didn't get noticed b Jose.  He means business all of the time.

It's strange and wonderful when a person comes into work wearing a costume from the video game Chainsaw Lollipop, and the costume requires her to carry around a severed head.  Great Wednesday at the shop.

First cottage weekend was a roaring success.  Weather was beautiful on Saturday, and the water was at a level where you could put your feet in it.  That water is still disgusting, think of a homeless man's two day old bathtub water.

America's Got Talent - Computer generated show that finds everything that makes a human being smile artificially, and plays it to the maximum each and every time.  I can't figure out if it's bad or not.  If I want to be artificially happy I will eat a big mac and spray whip cream in my mouth.  It takes much less time.

Playing in the Celebrity golf tournament in the Towel in July.  If you wonder what kind of celebrities that this tournament usually brings in?.  I don't want to waste my time typing it.

It stresses me out trying to find a song while driving on my Ipod Classic.  "No don't go by letters, I was in the right letter.  Damn it, why is there three different Blind Melon's in here."  I know if this is the hardest thing I am dealing with I am doing alright.

You know what game doesn't go over well with the HR person?  Who's touching my ass.

I really want to have a lady approach me, and grab my hands and say have you ever thought about hand modelling?  These hands haven't seen a hard day in their life and I want to be recognized for that.  Yes, I did steal that from Seinfeld.

Following my cat around for a few hours as a child I figured out that they don't do much during the day.

Sara and I are doing the Laura Secord hike this coming Saturday.  It's a 30km hike that mimics that same walk that she did to warn the Canadians about the Americans attacking.  The next day is Father's Day, and I am debating playing golf.  My Dad already beat me pretty bad the first time out, so I need all the strength that I can get. 

Now here is something I can relate to.  Jared Keeso played Don Cherry on The Wrath of Grapes.  Good times!

If women were able to pee standing up I think a lot of their problems would be solved.  Hopefully this is something that evolution never fixes.  That would be awful.

For some reason I think I looked cooler then the average person when I used to smoke cigarettes.

We have all been hit with a pool noodle too hard, and had to act like it didn't hurt.

People racing dogs is something that I enjoy.  Especially when people have the same face as the dog.  That intense face when you are actually racing competitively.

Seeing a woman with hiking poles, a gigantic hat that looks like a pirates hat that is singing to herself brings out so many different emotions in me.  Fear and curiosity are the two most dominating.

This year Wonderland, this year.

One of the great things about Facebook is seeing the people that you thought weren't going to make it in High School become exactly who you thought they would be.

Could you imagine having to go to the library to do research about certain subjects?  Sitting down at those uncomfortable, boring, still give me nightmares desks that were off to the side.  Also those stupid giant wooden things they used for the newspapers.  Good job internet.  Now I can get incorrect information about the same subjects and use other people's opinions as my own.

Oh Sidney Crosby, you OK there?  Did Zdeno say something mean about your mouthguard?

Well Blue Jay fans it's getting to that time of panic.

Mama - 7.7/10

I have now realized that I really don't like watching movies that have creepy children.  There is just something so wrong about a child walking around on all fours and saying creepy things.  There is no therapy for this folks.

I am up to episode 6 of the new Game of Thrones.  I understand that something happens in the newest episode that is shocking.  If anybody spoils me with it, Entertainment Weekly looking at you, then you can expect a retaliation like no other.  There might be grovelling and you might get a little slobber on your sleeve.

Did anyone in the world really think that the Indiana Pacers were going to beat the Miami Heat in game 7 in Miami?

Top 3 things that you can be carrying on to the deck of my cottage that will make me giddy with happiness.

3. Case of Heineken
2. Multiple Bottles of Wine
1. Baked Treats

 (on a side note, if you have a full face beard, beautiful mustache, or are wearing something outrageous you will get a similar response, but I can't eat or drink your beard.)

It's been a mighty fine last few days at work.  The XM radio broke down so Daryl's Ipod with his own playlists have been playing in the store.  I need to be careful to keep some of the embarrassing music to a minimum.  "Alone" by Heart has already turned a few heads towards me.

Ever have somebody talk to you about how much they hate their significant other?  I can't think of a more awkward conversation to have.

After the age of 17 hickey's are no longer acceptable. 

Fake tanning, smoking cigarette's, and eating horribly.  You can expect a long healthy existence.  You will probably look extremely attractive when you are a bit older as well.  Nothing like that lady from "There's Something About Mary."

If you are a religious person and I am singing Jesus Christ Pose by Soundgarden please don't take offense.  It's a really good song.

Seeing a bigger dude getting scared by somebody sneaking up on them is funnier then I thought it would be.

First time golfing was success.  Still hitting the ball fairly well.  We did get rained on, but it was right beside the hot dog stand that was serving Heineken and had a washroom attached to it.  Could have been much worse. 

Black Sabbath's new album is coming out shortly.  This is like Shakespeare releasing a new play.  Well it's nothing like that, but I couldn't think of anything else.