If you are going to have me DJ your wedding I would prefer it to be at the Walper in Kitchener. Encore Records and Imbibe are within a block. It also helps to have a free bar that serves Waterloo Dark. It was a good night had by all. Especially me!
Beaverdale Golf and Country Club was our Sunday excursion this past weekend. Might as well played in a farmers field. There is a substance called water that helps grass grow.
Story about the album cover of Black Sabbath Sabotage. They were supposed to have the shot done in the morning. Bill Ward (drummer) was out the evening before and managed to lose his pants. They knew very well that he couldn't do the shoot in his underwear. Ozzy stepped up and offered up his red tights. Then Ozzy put on his robe and wore that for the photo shoot.
The Antlers - Familiars - 8.6/10
This is an album for a Sunday night swoon with candles lit, and the bold intentions of making babies.
Sometimes I meet somebody from the older generation that is impossible to have an enjoyable conversation with. You take the conversation one way because they seem to hate what you were previously talking about. Now I take it this way and you still hate what I am talking about. You are the only person that hates nice weather. Just want to push an ice cream cone into your face.
We might have let down the people in the '60s who thought we would have flying cars and be wearing all space silver. Why did they think we would always be wearing giant space grey boots as well. They don't look comfortable in any of the movies.
Apple Itunes is the absolute worst. Downloaded multiple songs legitimately to be played at the wedding. They were the only songs that didn't work due to having to put in my Apple ID every time that I wanted to play them. Why does anybody buy digital music? You know what doesn't ask for a password when I play it? My Kurt Vile record.
The Antlers - Familiars - 8.9/10 (I know I have already rated it, but I am currently listening to it and it deserves a higher grade. Just like that paper I wrote back in Grade 5 Mr. Wilson.)
Been very lack luster with watching movies recently. Try to always think is there anything better that I could be doing with my time right now then watching TV right now. Some people from the time they get up till the time they go to bed watch TV. Those are people that I like to call impressive. To not be able to have any type of urge to do anything, but lay on a couch for fourteen hours is a feat in itself. It sounds extremely shitty, but to each their own.
To hear people talk with a rap accent is extremely strange. It seems like it would be difficult and tiresome to always talk with an attitude. To sound like you have a chip on your shoulder while ordering a whopper from Burger King isn't all that impressive.
Budweiser, Molson, and Labatt. Stop trying to make craft beers. Part of the reason that craft beers are craft beers is because they are made by smaller breweries that no one has ever heard of. If Nickelback attempted to make an album sounding similar to Caribou what do you think it would sound like? It sounds like Budweiser Crown being poured in the garbage to me.
Top 3 flower related moments
3 - Stuck a needle into my dates boob in high school while attempting to put on their corsage. Never allow the man to put on the flower. Or at least not this man
2 - Dandelions look delicious. They are not.
1 - Witnessing a man with 13 beers into his system fall down a hill and roll for at least 12 seconds over flowers and dirt. After he got up his glasses looked similar to Aaron Rodgers helmet after he has been sacked by Jason-Pierre Paul
Eyes up Daryl, eyes up. Many attractive women approaching DJ table with low cut dresses on. Eyes up, eye contact. Yes, I do have Lil John. Way to play it cool my friend. I should have received a slow clap.
Monday, June 23, 2014
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Suits is a show. It's kind of a mix of Wolf of Wall Street and Sherlock with lawyers. We have fast talking and sharp minded guys that seem to have that same narcissistic attitude similar to Christian Bale from American Psycho. It's entertaining though.
golfnow.com is an amazing website. Couple of weeks ago me and three other wonderful friends went out to Conostogo Golf and Country Club for $12.00 including cart. I do not own a flux capacitor. What a weird question?
There is an awful lot of Tommy John surgery going on. What did we do before this existed? We would have lost many of good pitchers to career ending injuries without this medical revelation.
Enemy - 7.7/10
This movie is a trip. Same director as Prisoners. It stars Jake Gyllenhaal as a History Prof that sees his doppelganger in a minor role on a movie he watched. He ends up meeting him. It's a slow burn, intense in areas, and laughable in other parts. If you watch it just for the final scene it's worth it.
Caribou, Spoon, and Bear in Heaven are the bands that will be releasing new albums this year. Hopefully they will dominate the charts. Has anyone ever heard of any of these bands?
"Daryl, turn off your music. You are attracting all the hipsters." This was the joke of the day recently at work. I was selling to a hipster, a group of hipsters were passing by the Apple TV, and according to very unreliable sources I might be lumped into this group.
I am now at the age where I am being served smoked havarti, prosciutto, pickled items, and fancy crackers. Is this better then a no name bag of dill pickle chips? Jury is still out.
Top 3 things that if you take on a plane (hiking is the source of the trip) that Sara will confiscate..
3 - Full Sized Ipod Classic (you are allowed the nano, but the classic is out of the question.)
2 - Cotton Clothing (Sara, I have had this Pink Floyd shirt for 15 years. No! "It has a hole in the armpit." "You are a hole in the armpit. Fine! I won't take it."
1 - Any book that doesn't have extremely small font. It needs to last the whole trip.
It's pretty rare that it's a successful passing of time when somebody is pushing you around in a shopping cart at top speed. More than 50% of the time that I have seen this somebody gets injured severely enough that the party needs to be stopped. It's a blast for those 40 seconds though.
Yes! I do judge you for the movies that you are buying when I am ringing you in. And you should be ashamed of that Paul Blart Mall Cop purchase.
Did Portugal and Germany play yesterday? Bitburger beer, black forest cake, and schnitzel were all sold out at the store. Volkswagon! Now you know all the things I know about Germany.
It's not impressive when you read your poetry to me. If you do it with a spoken word style though. I may be intrigued.
Oh you have Gelato. Oh I am so sorry that I only have my Chapmans Ice Cream. Are you sure that I can sit at the same table as you? I bought this bucket for $4.00. How much did that cup cost you? Where is your closest bathroom?
Would we really be that shocked if Nicholas Cage and John Travolta made another Face Off movie? Could it possibly be as awesome as the first one? Will there be dancing in it?
golfnow.com is an amazing website. Couple of weeks ago me and three other wonderful friends went out to Conostogo Golf and Country Club for $12.00 including cart. I do not own a flux capacitor. What a weird question?
There is an awful lot of Tommy John surgery going on. What did we do before this existed? We would have lost many of good pitchers to career ending injuries without this medical revelation.
Enemy - 7.7/10
This movie is a trip. Same director as Prisoners. It stars Jake Gyllenhaal as a History Prof that sees his doppelganger in a minor role on a movie he watched. He ends up meeting him. It's a slow burn, intense in areas, and laughable in other parts. If you watch it just for the final scene it's worth it.
Caribou, Spoon, and Bear in Heaven are the bands that will be releasing new albums this year. Hopefully they will dominate the charts. Has anyone ever heard of any of these bands?
"Daryl, turn off your music. You are attracting all the hipsters." This was the joke of the day recently at work. I was selling to a hipster, a group of hipsters were passing by the Apple TV, and according to very unreliable sources I might be lumped into this group.
I am now at the age where I am being served smoked havarti, prosciutto, pickled items, and fancy crackers. Is this better then a no name bag of dill pickle chips? Jury is still out.
Top 3 things that if you take on a plane (hiking is the source of the trip) that Sara will confiscate..
3 - Full Sized Ipod Classic (you are allowed the nano, but the classic is out of the question.)
2 - Cotton Clothing (Sara, I have had this Pink Floyd shirt for 15 years. No! "It has a hole in the armpit." "You are a hole in the armpit. Fine! I won't take it."
1 - Any book that doesn't have extremely small font. It needs to last the whole trip.
It's pretty rare that it's a successful passing of time when somebody is pushing you around in a shopping cart at top speed. More than 50% of the time that I have seen this somebody gets injured severely enough that the party needs to be stopped. It's a blast for those 40 seconds though.
Yes! I do judge you for the movies that you are buying when I am ringing you in. And you should be ashamed of that Paul Blart Mall Cop purchase.
Did Portugal and Germany play yesterday? Bitburger beer, black forest cake, and schnitzel were all sold out at the store. Volkswagon! Now you know all the things I know about Germany.
It's not impressive when you read your poetry to me. If you do it with a spoken word style though. I may be intrigued.
Oh you have Gelato. Oh I am so sorry that I only have my Chapmans Ice Cream. Are you sure that I can sit at the same table as you? I bought this bucket for $4.00. How much did that cup cost you? Where is your closest bathroom?
Would we really be that shocked if Nicholas Cage and John Travolta made another Face Off movie? Could it possibly be as awesome as the first one? Will there be dancing in it?
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Slaves to our phones. Social media giants have created us this way. We are plugged into the Matrix and are not able to be unplugged. With every like that we receive from Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. We delve deeper and deeper into the Matrix. There is no real reason for anyone to leave their house anymore. We have everything we need social interaction wise right at our finger tips. You don't have to worry about the awkward silence or the eye roll. You can just sit back and wait for those likes to come in.
Oh that post only received one like in thirty minutes. Damn it, I thought that was good. What now? Oh I know a selfie with a cute smile that is always a winning recipe. Like, like, like, oh that's the stuff. Instagram has people with the exact same look and pose, but in different places. Here's the bar, here's me on my couch, and here's me at Starbucks. Food posts are the ones that I am most guilty for. Made this delicious meal. Haven't even taken a bite. Maybe I could move that piece of asparagus over here to make it look more appetizing. See what I did with those potatoes? I put spice on them. Now it's cold, maybe my phone can heat it up?
Meet Sherry. She cannot stand to not look at her phone for more then 5 minutes. She believes that the phone is going to ruin her summer. There is no turning back. The phone is evil She needs help putting it down. Instead of resisting temptation. She dramatically throws the phone into the pool. You will not waste my summer IPhone. Sherry don't dive in after it. Phones cannot vibrate under water. You heard nothing.
Vibrating in my pocket. Oh no, somebody is calling me. I am going to let it go to voicemail. Then I will text back to gauge how important it was that they needed to talk to me. Jesus, they are calling again. This must be the Apocalypse. Another vibrate. Somebody has noticed me somewhere. I need to see what I have been noticed for. Was it my awesome bikini pic on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram? Just an email from that damn contest I entered. What a waste. I am deleting that. Oh that's so much work. Maybe the phone didn't pick up the multiple likes that I got. Not the spinning round thing. This phone is so slow.
In a social setting now. Phone vibrates. Maybe I can take a quick a glance while the conversation has shifted away from me. Do I fake a washroom visit or just be a jerk and look at it in their mid-sentence? Sorry, what were you talking about? That was an important notice that somebody liked my photo that I ripped off from George Takei.
Arguments are wonderful on social media. Were they trying to be sarcastic or funny? Or were they serious? Why didn't they write jk after the comment. I would have known then for sure. I am going to overreact. This should get their attention to know that I am right and they are wrong. Social media arguments always end with no victor and a muttering of the phrase. "What a dick." Let the bloggers take care of writing sarcasm. Not everybody has the chops to describe everything perfectly to a tee. This internet stuff isn't for beginners.
There is the creepy add as well. The add when you are trying to slip through to check out the hot chicks profile. You know some of the same people. They have probably heard of you. Just press that add button. Do it, do it. Put that Facebook on lock down. I want nobody seeing me dressed a pirate and having a beer from that Halloween party in '07. Haunting circumstances of people knowing that I enjoy Heineken. Nothing more shameful then being deleted by somebody from Facebook. I was just cleaning up my feed. Your name is always coming up and I could really give a fu** what you are up to.
Instagram - smittyd04
Twitter - hosehead12
Facebook - Daryl Smith from LDSS
Snapchat - hosehead12
Oh that post only received one like in thirty minutes. Damn it, I thought that was good. What now? Oh I know a selfie with a cute smile that is always a winning recipe. Like, like, like, oh that's the stuff. Instagram has people with the exact same look and pose, but in different places. Here's the bar, here's me on my couch, and here's me at Starbucks. Food posts are the ones that I am most guilty for. Made this delicious meal. Haven't even taken a bite. Maybe I could move that piece of asparagus over here to make it look more appetizing. See what I did with those potatoes? I put spice on them. Now it's cold, maybe my phone can heat it up?
Meet Sherry. She cannot stand to not look at her phone for more then 5 minutes. She believes that the phone is going to ruin her summer. There is no turning back. The phone is evil She needs help putting it down. Instead of resisting temptation. She dramatically throws the phone into the pool. You will not waste my summer IPhone. Sherry don't dive in after it. Phones cannot vibrate under water. You heard nothing.
Vibrating in my pocket. Oh no, somebody is calling me. I am going to let it go to voicemail. Then I will text back to gauge how important it was that they needed to talk to me. Jesus, they are calling again. This must be the Apocalypse. Another vibrate. Somebody has noticed me somewhere. I need to see what I have been noticed for. Was it my awesome bikini pic on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram? Just an email from that damn contest I entered. What a waste. I am deleting that. Oh that's so much work. Maybe the phone didn't pick up the multiple likes that I got. Not the spinning round thing. This phone is so slow.
In a social setting now. Phone vibrates. Maybe I can take a quick a glance while the conversation has shifted away from me. Do I fake a washroom visit or just be a jerk and look at it in their mid-sentence? Sorry, what were you talking about? That was an important notice that somebody liked my photo that I ripped off from George Takei.
Arguments are wonderful on social media. Were they trying to be sarcastic or funny? Or were they serious? Why didn't they write jk after the comment. I would have known then for sure. I am going to overreact. This should get their attention to know that I am right and they are wrong. Social media arguments always end with no victor and a muttering of the phrase. "What a dick." Let the bloggers take care of writing sarcasm. Not everybody has the chops to describe everything perfectly to a tee. This internet stuff isn't for beginners.
There is the creepy add as well. The add when you are trying to slip through to check out the hot chicks profile. You know some of the same people. They have probably heard of you. Just press that add button. Do it, do it. Put that Facebook on lock down. I want nobody seeing me dressed a pirate and having a beer from that Halloween party in '07. Haunting circumstances of people knowing that I enjoy Heineken. Nothing more shameful then being deleted by somebody from Facebook. I was just cleaning up my feed. Your name is always coming up and I could really give a fu** what you are up to.
Instagram - smittyd04
Twitter - hosehead12
Facebook - Daryl Smith from LDSS
Snapchat - hosehead12
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Just watched the first season of Silicon Valley. If you wonder where great comedy has gone? Well it's waiting for you right here. Mike Judge is a mastermind.
If you ever wondered what my worst purchase of all time is. Well it's Monopoly. Not just any old Monopoly. Batman and Robin Monopoly. The one with Mr. Freeze. There is nothing I feel more ashamed of. That's also while looking at my Methods of Mayhem album. Look up the song Get Naked by them. It's a real treat.
Well it's almost time to vote. Would you rather get kicked in the balls by this group or this group?
While filing into the Rogers Centre for a Jays game and you notice a man sitting in front of you wearing a Blue Jays helmet. One of two things are going to happen. He is going to get trashed and be extremely obnoxious. Or he is going to get trashed and be extremely obnoxious.
Joe Maddon brought in a witch doctor to help the Rays get out of their losing ways. For some reason I don't mind this move. Gibbons rubs a John Deere Tractor. What's the difference?
The Machine - 6.9/10
This movie was extremely creepy. If you have love for all things that melt your brain. Please watch!
World Cup starts very shortly. In other words. Cambridge turns into a Fast and the Furious area of Honda Civics beeping their horns with Portuguese flags waving in the wind near local Tim Hortons coffee shops.
While reading management books I find it amusing the way they see employees that work for them. We are not Sims characters.
You have to hand it to the show Rome. If you haven't watched it, watch it. It is the reason why Game of Thrones, Spartacus, Vikings, and all other amazing period shows keep happening.
Top 3 Things That I Wish Didn't Have This Effect in the Morning
3 - Leg Cramp (I am just sleeping. How is this happening?)
2 - Having to pee sitting down sometimes. (Men you know)
1 - Mouth sewer (I don't remember eating a bag of onions before bed.)
I am sorry Canada Post lady. Our contest entries has put an unnecessary strain on your mail route. Receiving pamphlets about New Mexico and Idaho go straight to recycle. Idaho, you have a giant potato. That is not enough to get me there.
When babies look at me I always feel like they are going to start talking shit to me. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
Always wanted to play against a little kid in basketball and swat the ball away with aggressive force and then taunt them after. It's a pretty shallow dream, but it's still a dream.
If you ever wondered what my worst purchase of all time is. Well it's Monopoly. Not just any old Monopoly. Batman and Robin Monopoly. The one with Mr. Freeze. There is nothing I feel more ashamed of. That's also while looking at my Methods of Mayhem album. Look up the song Get Naked by them. It's a real treat.
Well it's almost time to vote. Would you rather get kicked in the balls by this group or this group?
While filing into the Rogers Centre for a Jays game and you notice a man sitting in front of you wearing a Blue Jays helmet. One of two things are going to happen. He is going to get trashed and be extremely obnoxious. Or he is going to get trashed and be extremely obnoxious.
Joe Maddon brought in a witch doctor to help the Rays get out of their losing ways. For some reason I don't mind this move. Gibbons rubs a John Deere Tractor. What's the difference?
The Machine - 6.9/10
This movie was extremely creepy. If you have love for all things that melt your brain. Please watch!
World Cup starts very shortly. In other words. Cambridge turns into a Fast and the Furious area of Honda Civics beeping their horns with Portuguese flags waving in the wind near local Tim Hortons coffee shops.
While reading management books I find it amusing the way they see employees that work for them. We are not Sims characters.
You have to hand it to the show Rome. If you haven't watched it, watch it. It is the reason why Game of Thrones, Spartacus, Vikings, and all other amazing period shows keep happening.
Top 3 Things That I Wish Didn't Have This Effect in the Morning
3 - Leg Cramp (I am just sleeping. How is this happening?)
2 - Having to pee sitting down sometimes. (Men you know)
1 - Mouth sewer (I don't remember eating a bag of onions before bed.)
I am sorry Canada Post lady. Our contest entries has put an unnecessary strain on your mail route. Receiving pamphlets about New Mexico and Idaho go straight to recycle. Idaho, you have a giant potato. That is not enough to get me there.
When babies look at me I always feel like they are going to start talking shit to me. It makes me feel uncomfortable.
Always wanted to play against a little kid in basketball and swat the ball away with aggressive force and then taunt them after. It's a pretty shallow dream, but it's still a dream.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
"Where is this cheese that you speak of?" I was asked this recently at work. The woman started laughing hysterically and left after saying this.
God Loves Uganda - 9.2/10
Very interesting movie. It talks about how Christian groups come to Uganda. Build schools, orphanages, and other great things, but it also shows what their preaching does to the country after they leave. Causing chaos and death for people that don't think the same way that others do in the country. It's a must watch for everyone.
If I have my mouth wide open and am frozen completely. Please don't ask me questions that require an answer that isn't just a nod or a head shake. Drool was all over my shirt.
If you are single and want to find a way into a woman's heart. Learn how to cook and give massages. These are the two most important things that I have learned. When your wife misses your cooking you have done well. She is also eating lipton sidekicks sometimes for dinner, but still.
When you get known to have your own type pour of wine. That's when you know you are famous. The Louise Martin pour is world renowned. In other words, "up to the brim please."
There are some men that I know that enjoy cutting the grass. These men are also known as lunatics. Cutting the grass sucks. I would have a lawn that is all deck if I had a house.
Rarely are both Luigi and Mario mortal enemies of mine. During Mario Party 5 though. They are my Joffrey and Cersi.
The Jays are red hot. With each passing win I can feel myself eating my words with bigger bites. They started as Cheerios, they are now Shreddies. They could be Shredded Wheat by the end.
Have you ever looked at a review of a really bad rated movie on the DVD cover. You will always find a couple of good reviews. Have a look next time. "Classic horror, similar vain to Rosemary's Baby." Bob Salamander from Hosehead's Thoughts and Wisdom Blog.
I can't believe that at one point in my life that I owned a coed naked shirt. It said coed naked softball. Slow or fast have a blast. Judge all you want, but you owned one as well.
Top 3 White Board Moments
3 - When I drew a space ship and someone mistook it for a vagina during a game of Win, lose or draw.
2 - Having a bunny drawn for me that had fangs and blood coming down
1 - Seeing someone use it as a weapon. When play fighting goes too far.
I don't watch all that much TV anymore, but is there a lot more Scott's Lawn Seed commercials than usual? Or am I just watching things that middle aged home owner dudes would watch?
Is there a fear of getting your finger stuck in a sewing machine?
God Loves Uganda - 9.2/10
Very interesting movie. It talks about how Christian groups come to Uganda. Build schools, orphanages, and other great things, but it also shows what their preaching does to the country after they leave. Causing chaos and death for people that don't think the same way that others do in the country. It's a must watch for everyone.
If I have my mouth wide open and am frozen completely. Please don't ask me questions that require an answer that isn't just a nod or a head shake. Drool was all over my shirt.
If you are single and want to find a way into a woman's heart. Learn how to cook and give massages. These are the two most important things that I have learned. When your wife misses your cooking you have done well. She is also eating lipton sidekicks sometimes for dinner, but still.
When you get known to have your own type pour of wine. That's when you know you are famous. The Louise Martin pour is world renowned. In other words, "up to the brim please."
There are some men that I know that enjoy cutting the grass. These men are also known as lunatics. Cutting the grass sucks. I would have a lawn that is all deck if I had a house.
Rarely are both Luigi and Mario mortal enemies of mine. During Mario Party 5 though. They are my Joffrey and Cersi.
The Jays are red hot. With each passing win I can feel myself eating my words with bigger bites. They started as Cheerios, they are now Shreddies. They could be Shredded Wheat by the end.
Have you ever looked at a review of a really bad rated movie on the DVD cover. You will always find a couple of good reviews. Have a look next time. "Classic horror, similar vain to Rosemary's Baby." Bob Salamander from Hosehead's Thoughts and Wisdom Blog.
I can't believe that at one point in my life that I owned a coed naked shirt. It said coed naked softball. Slow or fast have a blast. Judge all you want, but you owned one as well.
Top 3 White Board Moments
3 - When I drew a space ship and someone mistook it for a vagina during a game of Win, lose or draw.
2 - Having a bunny drawn for me that had fangs and blood coming down
1 - Seeing someone use it as a weapon. When play fighting goes too far.
I don't watch all that much TV anymore, but is there a lot more Scott's Lawn Seed commercials than usual? Or am I just watching things that middle aged home owner dudes would watch?
Is there a fear of getting your finger stuck in a sewing machine?
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