The Jays seem to play much better when I write a blog ripping on them.  Doesn't John Gibbons seem like he should be going out to pull pitcher in an old timey night gown, sleeping cap, and a lantern.  Similar to Scrooge from the Christmas Carol.

I always want to call Scrooge from the Christmas Carol Scrooge McDuck.

Boots and Hearts is a country music festival that lasts five days.  Most people can't shower and you can't move your car once you are in there.  Water is expensive and so is food.  People pay $300 dollars or more for tickets to this event.  Now that I have described nearly the worst thing on earth to you I can continue my day.

Played Rebel Creek today.  Absolutely gorgeous.  Might be the best course that I have played.  It was a birthday gift from my Father and I beat him by one stroke.  There's nothing like beating your old man at his favourite pastime.

Divergent - 6.7/10

Kitchener has opened a board game tavern recently.  I believe it's on Ontario St.  Why does anybody that doesn't play board games always assume that it's just 100 people there playing Monopoly and Risk.  There were more then two board games invented.

Top 3 reasons to hold in gas.

3 - You are in an area that is quiet and you are not sure that it's going to be quiet enough not to be a disruption.
2 - You believe that it's going to smell awful and don't want to draw attention to yourself.
1 - You are not confident that it will just be gas.

From the age of 2 to your death.  Your having to go pee dance will always be the same.

I have ridden a horse in Venezuela.  I did not look nearly as graceful as the movies that I watch.  I think that I look similar to monkey that is placed on a dog while the dog is running.  I have no idea why I am up here and how to slow this creature down if need be.

Marcus Stroman starts any type of game 1 for Toronto if they make any type of playoff game.  He's a difference maker.  You know exactly what you are going to get from Dickey and Beurhle.

I have heard stories about guests getting into fights at people's weddings.  You have to be pretty shitty to fight somebody at a wedding that you are invited to.

Sin City just seems like one of those movies that should only be made once.   Kind of like 300.

Expendables 3 is available on the internet to those that are savvy with all things that are online.  It's not even available in theaters yet.  Rocky and Drago are rumoured to be going out in costume to people's houses and challenging them to boxing matches if downloaded.  Apollo just dances.

I have never been called a beefcake before.  I was called a beefcake by a 75 year old Elizabeth Taylor look a like last week.  She also called her son a beautiful ball player which I also enjoyed.  These are the types of conversations that I want to be having when I am 75.

86% of people on earth could do a better job running the Leafs over the past ten years then their prior management.

When you stop smoking you become really rusty with lighters.  I look like a 6 year old child every time that I try to light candles.

While sitting at the Blue Jays game last night grumbling about their play.  I was trying to piece together what the issue is with this team.  One through eight they look lost.  Kawasaki was about the only guy up there that looked like he had an idea of what to do.  Rasmus ran into a pitch.  They faced Yu Darvish which is no easy task.  He's got great stuff. It started before this.  Even before Encarnacion went down.  Well before the all-star break.  They were out classed and dominated on the west coast.  Now the Orioles are playing against those same heavy weights.  This is their shot to get back on level ground.  What's their game plan out of the break?  Nothing! 

Edwin being down hurts.  He's the glue that holds this lineup together.  You can blame injuries to him, Lawrie, and Lind to the struggles.  Do you know what the difference between a great team and a mediocre team?  You see the Cardinals, A's, and Giants do it year after year.  Being able to adapt to injuries.  Find other ways to win games.  This is what great managers do.  When you lose a couple of sluggers you play small ball.  You start runners, you steal bases, move runners along,  and you take chances. 

All I saw last night was the prototypical Blue Jays baseball of waiting for the home run.  When you really only have one home run hitter in your lineup you need to change your approach. Dickey pitched well enough to win this game.   The Jays look stale.  Even when they are putting something together you just have it in the back of your mind that they will screw this up somehow.  When the Jays went on their huge run in May everything was working on all cylinders. Other than that month they are well below .500.   At some point you knew that the pitching would fall back to earth.  The offense should be solid regardless though.  

Down 5-1 last night in the 7th.  Kawasaki smacked a pitch into the corner for a ground rule double.  They had 2nd and 3rd with one out.  Reyes is coming up with a chance to put a couple more runs up on the board.  All he needs to do is hit one to the right side of the infield or hit one deep enough to score the runner from 3rd.  What does he do?  He goes after the first pitch and pops out to short.  Not only do you not make Darvish work whatsoever.  He's been throwing pitches in the dirt all night.  You let Yu off the hook with no stress or work.  This is a nightly event right now.  No execution and no game plan on how you are going to win a low scoring affair.  Just wait for that home run.

If you have read any of my blogs in the past you know that I am not a fan of John Gibbons.  When they went on their run in May it was despite him.  Bautista and EE were playing MVP caliber baseball and Buerhle was being mentioned for CY Young.  When the bats go cold you have to invent ways to win a game.  You need to play National League type ball.  All I see is treading water hoping that the bats come back alive and praying that the pitching doesn't self destruct.  There will not be many years that the Red Sox and Yankees will be down.  This is one of them.  You need to take advantage of that.  There are no real bats on the market right now at the trade deadline.  Adapt or die.  Or in the Jays case wait for the long ball.

There has never been someone more efficient with their technology then the people that are in the IPhone 5S commercials.  Doing spreadsheets, women pushing her two children up a giant hill and checking her iPhone for stats. They should have a commercial of somebody eating a bag of Doritos looking at their Facebook updates while wiping off their hands on their shirt.  This is reality.

- Home Run Derby was last night.
- Cespedes has won it back to back
- Cool Nike commercial giving props to Jeter
- Awesome standing ovation for Morneau

Every time World Cup season is over I think to myself maybe I will watch some soccer now.  I really enjoyed the World Cup.  Then 3 minutes into the first game.  Once again I would rather watch an episode of Gold Diggers or whatever one of the 3000 useless gold digging reality show is called in Spanish.

Fargo - 9.1/10 (TV Show)
Noah - 6.8/10
Joe - 8.0/10
 
Just when you think Nicholas Cage is a washed up internet joke.  He puts on a performance like he does in the movie Joe. 

Ate a Blizzard from DQ last night.  It's like Russian Roulette when you have lactose issues.  There was no bullet in the gun fortunately.

Ed the Sock was on the highlights on Sportsnet doing some sports talk.  He was actually pretty humorous.  It was really weird seeing him filtered into my weekly routine.  Eating Shreddies and watching Ed the Sock talk about the Jays seems like it should be happening only in dreams and hallucinations.

You always have these fond thoughts of Roller Coasters.  You remember the wind going through your hair.  The high that you have when you get off.  Walking away with friends.  Pushing each other into the bushes on the way to the next ride.  This isn't the case anymore.  Whiplash, having to sit down, and falling into the bushes are the new reality.

It's hard to describe what it means to be creepy.  Or having a creepy vibe.  You can pick it out of a crowd of a 100.  Try to describe it though.  It's more difficult then I once thought.

You had to really like music to carry a giant boombox around with you on your shoulder.  There would have to be somebody willing to do this in my group of friends.  Wearing a tank top, with tight black pants, and high top shoes seem like the look they needed.  Actually just a version of Run DMC.

The fist bump has gotten into the area of the handshake.  Not only do you have to worry about going in for the wrong type of hand shake.  You now have to worry whether it's going to be a fist bump or a handshake. 

No more melon in the fruit tray.  Don't put two types of melon in the fruit tray either.  I am not talking about watermelon.  Watermelon is delicious.  I am talking about that green and orange melon.  I am not going to waste my time looking up their types.

Every single avatar I make for every single video game looks extremely Spanish.  This is unintentional.  Other then the moustache of course.

When people see my drivers license they always say.  "Oh you lost a lot of weight."  It's somewhat true, but mainly I was on drugs that made my face puff up is what I would like to say.    Ah, this is the creepy vibe.  Got it!

Coldplay got a bad rap.  The first couple of albums they made were solid.  They were ripped on mainly by dudes that believed they were too manly to listen to Coldplay.  I would like to have a look at those same dudes Ipods today.

Top 3 things that happened at Big Music Fest

3 - Slash playing a dual neck guitar.  One was acoustic, and one electric.  He played a latin vibe with the acoustic and rock with the electric.
2 -  Fans being put on stage to make Steven Tyler and Joe Perry's hair look like they were blowing in the wind.  So fu***** 80's.  It was awesome.
1 - Being at a festival 30 mins from my house.  You have no idea how nice it is not worrying about a DD.

Big Music Fest was a huge success.  Sold out crowd.  Fans were fired up.  There was one thing while watching Slash and Aerosmith show absolutely destroy their sets I realized. This is becoming a thing of the past.  

Music is evolving, there is much more emphasis on computers and beats in nearly every type of genre.  We have become obsessed with trying to make each and every sound a little bit different that we have forgotten the basic roots of rock and roll.  There are bands that can still hammer out riffs that give me goose bumps. My Morning Jacket and the War on Drugs come to mind.  Neither of these bands can sell out festivals of 25,000.  After seeing the show yesterday.  There is still a need for these bands past their prime to show us how it's done.

Slash was memorizing on lead   His guitar work is distinct.  He hammered out a half dozen Guns N' Roses songs.  There were points that I actually believed that I was at a GNR concert.  Side note, if a GNR reunion ever does happen.  It will be one of the biggest reunion tours of all time.  Maybe the biggest.  Watching Slash you have an injection of GNR that flows back into your veins. That first note of the Sweet Child O'Mine guitar solo is like a drug.  You don't understand how you could live without it ever again.  Seeing people in the crowd playing air guitar, and just drowning their mind in each sound the guitar was making was amazing  We need more of this.


I am not the biggest fan of Aerosmith.  One thing I can tell you though is that they know exactly how to keep the fans engaged.  Steven Tyler is a prototypical front man from the 70's and 80's.  He puts on a show.  He engages the crowd.  Makes it an absolute delight to listen to the band.  They played their greatest hits.  It was exactly what I expected to hear, but the way it was performed was an absolute masterpiece.  They have been doing this for so long that you can tell it's second nature.  They definitely didn't make you feel this way though.  It looked like their first show in years.  They were intense, comedic, and just a gigantic rock band.

With popular music changing you will be hard pressed to find a crowd that is that energized and feeding off of the guitar.  This is why these huge 60's, 70's, and 80's bands keep selling out.  Those era's party this way.  It's the way it's been for generations.  Dealing with the changing musical demographic is tough.  It's the way concerts have become.  People at laptops with giant light shows in the background.  Women divas with huge spectacles of dancers and eye candy outfits.  This is the new generation.  I have no problem with it.  I just have a hard time dealing with my choice of music not being the most popular.

There are still concerts that feature rock bands. Not near as many, but they are still around.  Osheaga in Montreal is huge, and becoming bigger every year.  There is still hope for the guitar.  There is still the need for a stage commanding front man.  There is still a love for an eight minute guitar solo.  It may never get back to the way it was in the 60's or 70's.  Watching people putting up their hands with signs of appreciation for Slash and what he is able to accomplish with a guitar makes me feel good.  What I got out of all of this is that the love for rock and roll is still alive and well.  Search for it and support it.

Went to see Sara on the trail recently.  While hiking with her I realized a couple of things.  She is in much better shape then I am in, and fish and chips are absolutely delicious after walking hours and hours.  Sometimes you crave weird things while hiking long distance.  I don't even like Doritos.  While walking though Doritos are a mountain man's dream.

People that manage the Appalachian Trail have a running competition of making the trail as difficult as possible in the section that they are in charge of.  You can stop now.  There is no need to go back on top of that rock field.  Go around it.  What the hell is wrong with you?

The Minnesota Twins are allowing people to pour their own beer during the All-Star game.  You can load up cards and serve yourself.  Seems dangerously awesome.

Halt and Catch Fire - 8.1/10

This is an AMC show about a small computer company trying to take on IBM.  Many no name actors that are absolutely terrific in this show. 

Premature - 7.5/10

Here's how I will sell this to you.  It's a teenage comedy about a guy that sounds exact like Topher Grace.  Every time he has an orgasm the day starts over again.  Groundhog Day meets a witty American Pie is the best way to describe it.  Partake and consume.

I have eaten terribly recently.  America specializes in family diners.  Would you like something ethnic today?  Well, Taco Bell is about as ethnic as it gets.

Rush is going on tour again.  I don't believe that you can be a full fledged Canadian man until you have seen this band.  That and seeing Strange Brew is the other necessity for all people that are coming to live in Canada from other countries.

First time riding a roller coaster in about 7 years.  They are much faster then I remember.  Also, another tip is to make sure you keep your head back.  I was being thrashed around more then 19 year old white girl after 4 tequila shots are Phils.

There are many people wearing costumes on the side of Hespeler Road recently.  I would much rather see the crazy wavy arms guy then a guy wearing a suit.  They are much more amusing.  Unless you are dressed like a pita.  I enjoy the pita man.

Was forced to wear a Mario back pack by Sara while hiking.  I brought the wrong bag and this was my punishment.  Pretty sweet punishment. 

Everybody knows that Steven Tyler looks like a woman.  The question isn't whether he looks like a woman.  The question is he trying to look like a woman because of their song.

One thing about hikers.  They do not care about what they are wearing.  As long as it's as light as their nude body.  There was a gentlemen wearing a 1987 youth lacrosse shirt. 

Costa Rica was put out of the World Cup.  My interest was peaked to 63% with Costa Rica in there.  It is now a 4%.  I could give a fu** who wins the soccer matches.

Germany always looks like a well oiled machine in pretty much everything that they do.  They probably all go to bed in the same room at 8:07pm each and every evening saying good night in unison.

Top 3 Outfits that I should be ashamed of, but am not.

3 - Rapist glasses, jogging pants, and velcro shoes
2 - spandex space suit that was too tight in the crotch area.  There was a lot of stretching involved that evening
1 - Halloween in the mid 2000's in went in black face as MC Hammer.  I didn't really realize how bad this was until thinking about it recently.