Went to see Wild at the Princess and the Hobbit at Landmark. It's amusing to see the type of crowd that was at each movie. At Wild there weren't many people under the age of 40. Mostly people that were in healthy shape and dressed well enjoying a small popcorn and pop if they had any food at all. At the Hobbit. It was 4:30 in the afternoon and there was multiple middle aged men and women. Most were on the heavier side, with the biggest popcorn of all time with the 2L fountain drink that they offer. While grabbing straws we noticed multiple people coming out to get more liquid butter for their popcorn. Sara and I had a giant popcorn at both. It's exactly what you expect at these two movies.
Wild - 8.8/10
The Hobbit - 7.1/10
The Equalizer - 6.5/10
The question is if Denzel from the Equalizer spent time with Liam Neeson's daughter from Taken and Liam got the wrong idea, and went after him what would happen?
Sara scoffed at points during Wild. If you don't know the story line a women that is trying to get over things that have happened in her life and decides to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. She has an outrageously sized back pack and doesn't get the right fluid to use her cook set while hiking. As most people know by watching Sara's YouTube videos that she was more prepared then a mustard in an Our Compliments bottle.
Christmas is almost upon us. Christmas has transformed for Sara and I into an appreciating what we have what we would like to accomplish in the new year. And of course spending time with our amazing families. Hopefully that gets an extra point on the wine scale that they were going to purchase.
Watching many Tiny House shows. Tiny Houses are 200-400 sq foot homes that contain everything that a larger home does, just in much smaller formats. We want this to be something that we can look into building or buying in the next five years. Zoning laws make it difficult in Ontario. Things seem to be changing though. Have a look on YouTube about it.
There is a place in Toronto that offers Ax throwing. You can bring your own beers and throw some axes around. What I picture in my head is these mountain men wearing flannel shirts, with suspenders, work boots, and giant beards with foaming over mugs of beer picking up an ax with one hand and throwing it through a tree that has somehow miraculously survived indoors.
Horrible Bosses 2 - Needlessly made for money - 3.1/10
I try not to get upset while waiting for a one thousand year old woman to cross the parking lot. One day I would love to just lay on the horn or yell obscenities just to see what would happen.
The Buffalo Bills in usual Buffalo Bills fashion fail to win on the road against the Raiders in a must win situation after looking fantastic against the Packers. That whole city should be given a wedgie.
Been watching many Ted Talks recently about travel, tiny houses, minimalism, and other topics. You could go for days watching these videos. There are so many interesting points of view out there. If you are sick of thinking the world is one awful place after watching the news. Watch a Ted Talk about practically any subject it will make you feel better about the world.
Talked a guy yesterday about gift cards. We were discussing whether it's better to just receive cash then a gift card. The old argument of putting something thought into it versus something you are actually going to use. I guess it boils down to how well you know the person. If you know the person is a foodie or a drinkie then you can be a little creative with your gift. If you know nothing or very little about the person, cash is king. Those stupid Visa gift cards cost money to either activate or purchase. Don't bother with them. Give them cash instead.
They should change the word mutton. You understand it's sheep. Just the word mutton makes me think of putting food into a napkin and being chased by dogs.
Jerry Seinfeld should have had Batman up in the apartment. Superman is a dweeb.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Record Shop owners and their impact on teachers in Iceland
There is a certain way that you need to act while in a record shop with mostly unknown music at your disposal. Always pick up a record every few minutes with a coolness, but don't show too much excitement. Filter through everything like you know every single band that you are looking at. Calmly wander over to the record store owner and ask if they can order in a record that is probably out of press. When purchasing, have a look that these records will do I guess, but it wasn't the exact edition that I was looking for. This is how you gain points with your local record store owner.
Johnny Manziel and somebody named Rusty Smith are the only QB's in NFL history that were shutout in their first career NFL start. Sharing a stat with somebody named Rusty Smith doesn't sound like a great start to your career. Just envisioning the fry boy from the Simpsons constantly.
The Simpsons turns 25 this year. Smithers was originally an African American man. Krusty was supposed to be Homer in disguise, and The Simpsons movie was supposed to be a musical are a few of the interesting tidbits that I found out. See the Chive isn't just for boobs and butts. Can't even write that with a straight face.
Still Alice - 8.8/10
The Skeleton Twins - 9.1/10
Gone Girl - 8.7/10
Three fantastic movies. Julianne Moore has to be the favourite for best actress for Still Alice. She's a brilliant professor that develops early Alzheimer disease. She does her best to keep things together, but it's only a matter of time. It's a tough watch. Many heart wrenching moments.
Heard a story yesterday of a co-worker that has a friend that works for another FS. Apparently she was asked if FS had a different website for each location. Sorry you receive a timeout for this.
Things are going full circle. Some of the most popular gifts this year are mini Polaroid cameras and record players. It's very strange giving people of all ages knowledge about record players. One thing about people buying record players. Not one of them listens to shitty music. You just don't hear. "Oh, and can you tell me where to pick up the new Nicki Minaj record? Just really want to hear Anaconda on vinyl."
One of the talents that I have obtained is picking out teachers when I am selling to them. They are the most annoying customers that ask every question known to man about a $40.00 mouse.
I have an Iphone 4. It has the worst digital camera ever developed in it. You might as well draw a picture with the paint from a cardboard box of Gato Negro wine.
Sara and I have booked a trip to Iceland in April. We have wanted to go there for years. Nearly every travel website that I check out always have beautiful pictures from Iceland. That and ways I can purchase it through them for an outrageous price.
It's getting closer and closer to the end of the Fantasy Football season. Or as gamers call it World of Warcraft for jocks.
Be good to people in this hectic time of year. Whether it's helping somebody in need or just being patient with people that are trying to help you out the best they can. It's simple just be good to fellow humans.
Johnny Manziel and somebody named Rusty Smith are the only QB's in NFL history that were shutout in their first career NFL start. Sharing a stat with somebody named Rusty Smith doesn't sound like a great start to your career. Just envisioning the fry boy from the Simpsons constantly.
The Simpsons turns 25 this year. Smithers was originally an African American man. Krusty was supposed to be Homer in disguise, and The Simpsons movie was supposed to be a musical are a few of the interesting tidbits that I found out. See the Chive isn't just for boobs and butts. Can't even write that with a straight face.
Still Alice - 8.8/10
The Skeleton Twins - 9.1/10
Gone Girl - 8.7/10
Three fantastic movies. Julianne Moore has to be the favourite for best actress for Still Alice. She's a brilliant professor that develops early Alzheimer disease. She does her best to keep things together, but it's only a matter of time. It's a tough watch. Many heart wrenching moments.
Heard a story yesterday of a co-worker that has a friend that works for another FS. Apparently she was asked if FS had a different website for each location. Sorry you receive a timeout for this.
Things are going full circle. Some of the most popular gifts this year are mini Polaroid cameras and record players. It's very strange giving people of all ages knowledge about record players. One thing about people buying record players. Not one of them listens to shitty music. You just don't hear. "Oh, and can you tell me where to pick up the new Nicki Minaj record? Just really want to hear Anaconda on vinyl."
One of the talents that I have obtained is picking out teachers when I am selling to them. They are the most annoying customers that ask every question known to man about a $40.00 mouse.
I have an Iphone 4. It has the worst digital camera ever developed in it. You might as well draw a picture with the paint from a cardboard box of Gato Negro wine.
Sara and I have booked a trip to Iceland in April. We have wanted to go there for years. Nearly every travel website that I check out always have beautiful pictures from Iceland. That and ways I can purchase it through them for an outrageous price.
It's getting closer and closer to the end of the Fantasy Football season. Or as gamers call it World of Warcraft for jocks.
Be good to people in this hectic time of year. Whether it's helping somebody in need or just being patient with people that are trying to help you out the best they can. It's simple just be good to fellow humans.
Monday, December 8, 2014
At Farm Camp Learning a Russian Accent
Sara was telling me a story about when she was younger. She wanted to go to something called Farm Camp. She took all of her brothers with her. They learned how to work on the farm and all things about farm life. These farmers were geniuses. They were paid for receiving child labor. We have an opening at FS. Come learn to work in retail. Carry bags, lift boxes, and learn the wisdom of handling people at Xmas time. Only $1,000 per week.
We had our annual Xmas party last night at McMullens in Waterloo. It was a rousing success. Many great gifts given out. For the auction of the gift cards I used mainly all local businesses. That's right, I am just like Robin Hood. Except for the stealing part and giving to the poor part. Wait?
There is something called the Christmas Pooper. It's a figurine of a celebrity doing the deed on the ground. Apparently it's good luck to put this up in your house. This seems like something made up by the weird kid in Grade 5 that thought the silent farts were the best. Why would anybody want this?
Housebound - 9.1/10
Cold in July - 8.2/10
Housebound is absolutely terrific. It's the best horror movie of the year. It's a movie based out of New Zealand and it combines comedy with horror. It's not just your typical haunted house movie. Give it a watch.
Watching the NFC south this year in the NFL is hideous. The NFL really needs to change their playoff format. There's a chance if New Orleans wins outright that they will make the playoffs. They generally are a much different team in the Superdome. Can you imagine if the 12-4 Detroit Lions have to go on the road to face the 7-9 New Orleans Saints?
The owner of Grumpy Cat makes over 100 million dollars a year in endorsements and other nonsense. More then Kim Kardashian. Kim Kardashian has just found about this and is planning on doing something shocking. She is going to take her clothes off for a magazine. Wow! I wish she would receive an Al Iafrate slap shot off of the inner thigh with one of those rock hard orange road hockey balls.
Faking an accent is extremely strange. It was not put into the managers handbook on how to deal with situations like that. Chapter 7 - How to deal with people faking accents to get things that they want.
Real simple, Bose and Beats docking stations are both excellent. Don't over think it.
The worst words that have come out somebody's mouth that was talking to me recently. That record is not in press anymore. Don't people realize how good The Beta Band Hot Shots II is?
If you have a cat. Make a circle with duct tape on the floor. The cat will sit in it. You're welcome.
What is the age that you start to worry if you are going to injure yourself if you just start running from a complete standstill?
There is something called Preemie dolls. These are dolls that represent premature babies. We do realize that premature babies are not supposed to be born yet and have major health issues to deal with? Yes, now we should start making tri-pod dog stuffed animals.
When you connect on a good high five there is no better feeling. I would say a solid high five only happens 28% of the time. You can't go for a second high five either. If you screw that one up as well you're done. Too many are chances are taken with the high five.
For Cliff Huxtable to gain all of his awesome Dad power Bill Cosby had to sell his soul to Satan according to rumour.
We had our annual Xmas party last night at McMullens in Waterloo. It was a rousing success. Many great gifts given out. For the auction of the gift cards I used mainly all local businesses. That's right, I am just like Robin Hood. Except for the stealing part and giving to the poor part. Wait?
There is something called the Christmas Pooper. It's a figurine of a celebrity doing the deed on the ground. Apparently it's good luck to put this up in your house. This seems like something made up by the weird kid in Grade 5 that thought the silent farts were the best. Why would anybody want this?
Housebound - 9.1/10
Cold in July - 8.2/10
Housebound is absolutely terrific. It's the best horror movie of the year. It's a movie based out of New Zealand and it combines comedy with horror. It's not just your typical haunted house movie. Give it a watch.
Watching the NFC south this year in the NFL is hideous. The NFL really needs to change their playoff format. There's a chance if New Orleans wins outright that they will make the playoffs. They generally are a much different team in the Superdome. Can you imagine if the 12-4 Detroit Lions have to go on the road to face the 7-9 New Orleans Saints?
The owner of Grumpy Cat makes over 100 million dollars a year in endorsements and other nonsense. More then Kim Kardashian. Kim Kardashian has just found about this and is planning on doing something shocking. She is going to take her clothes off for a magazine. Wow! I wish she would receive an Al Iafrate slap shot off of the inner thigh with one of those rock hard orange road hockey balls.
Faking an accent is extremely strange. It was not put into the managers handbook on how to deal with situations like that. Chapter 7 - How to deal with people faking accents to get things that they want.
Real simple, Bose and Beats docking stations are both excellent. Don't over think it.
The worst words that have come out somebody's mouth that was talking to me recently. That record is not in press anymore. Don't people realize how good The Beta Band Hot Shots II is?
If you have a cat. Make a circle with duct tape on the floor. The cat will sit in it. You're welcome.
What is the age that you start to worry if you are going to injure yourself if you just start running from a complete standstill?
There is something called Preemie dolls. These are dolls that represent premature babies. We do realize that premature babies are not supposed to be born yet and have major health issues to deal with? Yes, now we should start making tri-pod dog stuffed animals.
When you connect on a good high five there is no better feeling. I would say a solid high five only happens 28% of the time. You can't go for a second high five either. If you screw that one up as well you're done. Too many are chances are taken with the high five.
For Cliff Huxtable to gain all of his awesome Dad power Bill Cosby had to sell his soul to Satan according to rumour.
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Josh Donaldson battles Jake the Snake in a war of words about being Gluten Free.
Josh Donaldson is a Toronto Blue Jay. This trade came out of nowhere. Donaldson has long been one of my favourite A's players to watch. Here's what you can expect stats wise. .260-.270, .350OBP, 25-30HR, and 90-100RBI. That was in Oakland. This might rise in Toronto. Now for those that are unaware. Billy Beane is known for making shrewd moves. He received two decent bullpen arms. An injury prone player with a world of talent, and an unknown 18 year old short stop that could be a gem. Donaldson is controllable for four years. He will still make anywhere from 10-12 million a year after this year, but the Jays control his rights. This trade is great for Toronto. Bringing in more and more guys that have playoff experience is a smart move by AA.
Black Friday has come and gone in a whirl wind. I left the store yesterday at 5:01 feeling like a prize fighter from the '50s wearing nothing but a white towel and the pride that I had once again gotten through the pit of fire known as Black Friday weekend. If you call me today with an issue from work I will yell obscenities at you until you hang up.
Maze Runner - 6.8/10
Sara's work Xmas party was held at the Cambridge Mill this past Friday. It felt like a place that I would go to watch the Hunger Games. The actual Hunger Games, not the movie.
It seems like the people that cheer for the Leafs are the over dramatic girl friend that makes up stories and exaggerates everything just to create some excitement within the household. They didn't salute the fans. They don't respect us coming to their games. Oh they beat Tampa. Everything is great again. Yaaaaay for hockey.
Look for people leaning and sitting in every possible situation they can find. These people are the bread and butter for all things lazy. They will wait until somebody gets up to get them a beer. Even if their beer has been empty for 30 minutes
Trampolines are great for anywhere from 3 to 4 jumps. Then I want off. But I have to show the appearance that I still want to be there because I bought this thing for $450. It needs to be used even if it sucks.
Cats are dicks. I Remember owning a couple of cats in my life. One was insane, but the other would get onto the counter and just walk around knocking stuff off with it's paw. Mario could just walked around the cup of pencils, but no, she usually stopped and looked at the pencils, then at me, and then flicked her paw and knocked the pencils onto the floor. She would then keep walking like nothing had happened. Cats are dicks
Top 3 worst things to be allergic to.
3 - Sun
2 - Metal
1 - Gluten (People judge you. They wonder if you just think that you are too good for their bread or you are actually allergic to gluten.)
Being a younger man is sometimes difficult. You can't tell another man that you think another man looks handsome. Automatically they will think that you want to have sex with that man. Words like this can never be uttered. That one time when you said Rob Lowe looked good in that suit could haunt you until the age of 18. Or in the city of Cambridge. The rest of your life.
Most people that are creepy never know that they are creepy. When you realize that you are creepy and you still continue to be creepy is when it becomes a problem. When you tell a person that women find you creepy that's when I look at my phone and pretend to pick up a phone call.
TimePlay is an app that allows you to compete for Scene It points against other movie goers in the movie theater before the movie starts. This is a game changer. How did they not think of this before? It's so much better then listening to Kevin James talk about how many times he fell out of the golf cart in Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.
And on the next episode of Q. Jian will interview Bill Cosby. This interview will take place in a UFC ring with Lucy Lawless during her Xena days.
How did tighty whities become so popular? Also why do all electronics from the late 80's and early 90's have to be that creamy beige colour? Did we not have any other types of paint?
If wrestling was real Jake the Snake Roberts would have been arrested multiple times. Pretty sure it's illegal to lay a Boa Constrictor on an unconscious mans body.
Black Friday has come and gone in a whirl wind. I left the store yesterday at 5:01 feeling like a prize fighter from the '50s wearing nothing but a white towel and the pride that I had once again gotten through the pit of fire known as Black Friday weekend. If you call me today with an issue from work I will yell obscenities at you until you hang up.
Maze Runner - 6.8/10
Sara's work Xmas party was held at the Cambridge Mill this past Friday. It felt like a place that I would go to watch the Hunger Games. The actual Hunger Games, not the movie.
It seems like the people that cheer for the Leafs are the over dramatic girl friend that makes up stories and exaggerates everything just to create some excitement within the household. They didn't salute the fans. They don't respect us coming to their games. Oh they beat Tampa. Everything is great again. Yaaaaay for hockey.
Look for people leaning and sitting in every possible situation they can find. These people are the bread and butter for all things lazy. They will wait until somebody gets up to get them a beer. Even if their beer has been empty for 30 minutes
Trampolines are great for anywhere from 3 to 4 jumps. Then I want off. But I have to show the appearance that I still want to be there because I bought this thing for $450. It needs to be used even if it sucks.
Cats are dicks. I Remember owning a couple of cats in my life. One was insane, but the other would get onto the counter and just walk around knocking stuff off with it's paw. Mario could just walked around the cup of pencils, but no, she usually stopped and looked at the pencils, then at me, and then flicked her paw and knocked the pencils onto the floor. She would then keep walking like nothing had happened. Cats are dicks
Top 3 worst things to be allergic to.
3 - Sun
2 - Metal
1 - Gluten (People judge you. They wonder if you just think that you are too good for their bread or you are actually allergic to gluten.)
Being a younger man is sometimes difficult. You can't tell another man that you think another man looks handsome. Automatically they will think that you want to have sex with that man. Words like this can never be uttered. That one time when you said Rob Lowe looked good in that suit could haunt you until the age of 18. Or in the city of Cambridge. The rest of your life.
Most people that are creepy never know that they are creepy. When you realize that you are creepy and you still continue to be creepy is when it becomes a problem. When you tell a person that women find you creepy that's when I look at my phone and pretend to pick up a phone call.
TimePlay is an app that allows you to compete for Scene It points against other movie goers in the movie theater before the movie starts. This is a game changer. How did they not think of this before? It's so much better then listening to Kevin James talk about how many times he fell out of the golf cart in Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.
And on the next episode of Q. Jian will interview Bill Cosby. This interview will take place in a UFC ring with Lucy Lawless during her Xena days.
How did tighty whities become so popular? Also why do all electronics from the late 80's and early 90's have to be that creamy beige colour? Did we not have any other types of paint?
If wrestling was real Jake the Snake Roberts would have been arrested multiple times. Pretty sure it's illegal to lay a Boa Constrictor on an unconscious mans body.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Jim from Old Spice tackles unproductive neon signs
I won a contest. It's valued at $4500. What is it you ask? It's a giant neon sign of my own face. It's from Coors Lite and I won it picking answers to questions such as how many head coaches in the NFL will have facial hair this weekend. I have not received it yet, but I will put up pictures when I do. If you would like to know what am I going to do with it. I have no fu**ing idea.
Boyhood - 9.4/10
Predestination - 8.1/10
A Most Wanted Man - 8.6/10
Hunger Games: Mockingjay part 1 - 7.3/10
Boyhood might be the most original movie of the year. Richard Linklater (Dazed and Confused) shot this movie over a 12 year period. You get to see the actors grow up right before your eyes. It sees the growth not just with their physical bodies, but how their characters grow. Linklater does a fantastic job of having even the smallest of traits as a child becoming interests when they are older. This is one of the coolest movies I have ever taken in.
My Brother in Law just got married. It was a beautiful ceremony and it was also a study of how alcohol lubrication is a staple when white people need to dance.
I believe that we use words such as epic way too often. We just throw around these words that should only be used when describing Odell Bekhams catch or describing Guardians of the Galaxy. Rather then using it to describe our Wendy's cheeseburger that has been sitting under a heat lamp for 47 minutes.
We don't own enough coffee mugs. Drinking a coffee out of a red solo cup that is burning my hands brought this problem to light.
There might be a time when there a is a year long happy birthday to everyone on my Facebook. My friends are born on too many different days.
Now my snack eating has become one with contests. Currently I am only allowed to eat Pringles and Doritos. Could be worse. Junior mints and cheese balls hopefully will never have a contest.
Pineapple pancakes are a delicious idea that has been brought to my attention recently.
There are uses for smell lines. When somebody has just passed gas or hasn't showered for a week or so there should be a certain colour of smell line. Probably a green one. This would allow the person to be shamed publicly. Full support here.
I know the coolness of ugly Christmas sweaters is probably gone now. As soon as I see the NFL and Swiss Chalet using it in ads it's over. This will be the last year. If you haven't already figured it out. As soon as big companies begin to advertise something that has either been underground or only known by a few people it is no longer cool. Then they advertise it till death until even the general public hates it. Then they find the next thing and so on and so forth.
It's entertaining to see marketing companies try to figure things out though. So, Old Spice ads were cool. They have a dude that does a bunch of random things in very tough ways. Alright 60 year old ad man. We need an idea like this. "What the hell is that? Back in my day, we just had Jim on a horse with a smoke in his mouth holding a stick of Old Spice. That was good enough."
Buffalo has one thing to look forward to each and every week. It's Kyle Orton slinging around passes at Ralph Wilson Stadium. They didn't even get to see that this week.
One of the most dangerous thing that I have seen recently is when a 3 year old child had a giant permanent sharpie running around a room with no cap on the marker. Step away slowly from the situation Daryl.
There is a certain body type that you need to be a professional bowler or dart player. It's the body type of a once in shape rugby or football player, but has eaten too much pub food and it has all gone to the Buddha belly.
Top 3 Ways to Make Yourself Feel Stupid
3 - Watch Jeopardy on a nightly basis
2 - Witness a 5 year old child using an Ipad and try to mimic what they were doing
1 - Being asked to draw a human being with a pencil. Why did you put his arms out of his neck. Also no one stands like that. Their feet are never pointed sideways. Why does the hair look like they cut off their chest hair and taped it to their head.
Boyhood - 9.4/10
Predestination - 8.1/10
A Most Wanted Man - 8.6/10
Hunger Games: Mockingjay part 1 - 7.3/10
Boyhood might be the most original movie of the year. Richard Linklater (Dazed and Confused) shot this movie over a 12 year period. You get to see the actors grow up right before your eyes. It sees the growth not just with their physical bodies, but how their characters grow. Linklater does a fantastic job of having even the smallest of traits as a child becoming interests when they are older. This is one of the coolest movies I have ever taken in.
My Brother in Law just got married. It was a beautiful ceremony and it was also a study of how alcohol lubrication is a staple when white people need to dance.
I believe that we use words such as epic way too often. We just throw around these words that should only be used when describing Odell Bekhams catch or describing Guardians of the Galaxy. Rather then using it to describe our Wendy's cheeseburger that has been sitting under a heat lamp for 47 minutes.
We don't own enough coffee mugs. Drinking a coffee out of a red solo cup that is burning my hands brought this problem to light.
There might be a time when there a is a year long happy birthday to everyone on my Facebook. My friends are born on too many different days.
Now my snack eating has become one with contests. Currently I am only allowed to eat Pringles and Doritos. Could be worse. Junior mints and cheese balls hopefully will never have a contest.
Pineapple pancakes are a delicious idea that has been brought to my attention recently.
There are uses for smell lines. When somebody has just passed gas or hasn't showered for a week or so there should be a certain colour of smell line. Probably a green one. This would allow the person to be shamed publicly. Full support here.
I know the coolness of ugly Christmas sweaters is probably gone now. As soon as I see the NFL and Swiss Chalet using it in ads it's over. This will be the last year. If you haven't already figured it out. As soon as big companies begin to advertise something that has either been underground or only known by a few people it is no longer cool. Then they advertise it till death until even the general public hates it. Then they find the next thing and so on and so forth.
It's entertaining to see marketing companies try to figure things out though. So, Old Spice ads were cool. They have a dude that does a bunch of random things in very tough ways. Alright 60 year old ad man. We need an idea like this. "What the hell is that? Back in my day, we just had Jim on a horse with a smoke in his mouth holding a stick of Old Spice. That was good enough."
Buffalo has one thing to look forward to each and every week. It's Kyle Orton slinging around passes at Ralph Wilson Stadium. They didn't even get to see that this week.
One of the most dangerous thing that I have seen recently is when a 3 year old child had a giant permanent sharpie running around a room with no cap on the marker. Step away slowly from the situation Daryl.
There is a certain body type that you need to be a professional bowler or dart player. It's the body type of a once in shape rugby or football player, but has eaten too much pub food and it has all gone to the Buddha belly.
Top 3 Ways to Make Yourself Feel Stupid
3 - Watch Jeopardy on a nightly basis
2 - Witness a 5 year old child using an Ipad and try to mimic what they were doing
1 - Being asked to draw a human being with a pencil. Why did you put his arms out of his neck. Also no one stands like that. Their feet are never pointed sideways. Why does the hair look like they cut off their chest hair and taped it to their head.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Russell Martin signed with the Jays today to the tune of 5 years at 82 million. At first glance I thought it was way too much money for a guy that is going to hit .250, hit 10-15 HR, and drive in 60. Then I thought about it. One of the biggest complaints I had with the Jays was their lack of leadership on this team. Martin has plenty of that. They also have a bunch of young arms that look like they could be on the verge of something great in the starting rotation. Martin is fantastic with young pitchers. He throws out base runners at a very good rate and is Canadian. Also, Brian McCann went for a very similar deal to the Yanks. He's 31 which is quite a bit younger then I thought he was. Should have at least another 3 solid years behind the plate. Good signing overall.
Here's some Facebook status updates all put in a row so I don't have to write them throughout the winter.
- Wow, winter came fast this year. Where did this snow all come from?
- Why do people always forget how to drive in winter? It happens every year folks.
- Putting away the golf clubs. Bringing out the shovel.
- So sick of shoveling, wished I lived in an apartment right about now.
- Know of any good movies to watch. I am preparing for hibernation.
The only difference that I can see with myself over the past 10 years is that I can now tell when I am in a crappy mood. Where before I just thought everybody else were just being complete dicks.
They predict that this could be the year that Black Friday outsells Boxing Day in some retail stores. Please make this be true. I sometimes wish I could take a forget me now pill and just work Boxing Day and have it be over without knowing it ever happened.
St Vincent - 8.2/10
The Hundred Foot Journey - 7.7/10
The Babadook - 8.9/10
The Babadook is a horror movie that builds up the tension in your mind. The woman that plays the mother is brilliant. It's one of the better horror movies I have seen in quite a while.
Being in social settings quite often I find it very easy to see what type of crazy people are, and am able to adapt to their craziness. It's like having my brain go into the hard drive of my mind and be like. "Oh here we go, a file from 2006. He's this type of crazy. Here's what you need to do to succeed in this conversation."
As a young lad I was always tentative when going to school dances. I am not even sure why I went. I really had no interest in the music or dancing. I was just there to tell people how many beers I drank before the dance. There was always a thought of picking up girls. My only talent for picking up girls was being outrageous at this time. But not outrageous on the dance floor. Therefore I was very unsuccessful picking up girls at dances. Where was I going with this? Yes, I enjoy dancing now.
Starbucks drinks are tasty. They are a**holes for making their drinks the same price as a premium draft beer. When I have to use a 20 to pay for two coffees it will fire me up.
They landed a robot on a comet. Let me repeat this. A ROBOT ON A COMET. It's been in the works for 20 years. That's absolutely remarkable. Unfortunately, Kim Kardashian made top news by being nude in a magazine and saying that she was going to break the internet. Hopefully she is Dorian Grey and somebody will set fire to her painting.
Ariel Pink has a new album out. Most people have tuned this out. They haven't heard of Ariel Pink and wish I would stop talking about music that nobody has ever heard of.
Movember is being done again this year. It might be running out of steam though. They might have to start something different. Maybe Necember. This stands for neck beard December.
Top 3 facts about glasses
3 - They can make a man look like a rapist instantly.
2 - It's surprising how much beating your glasses can take and that you still wear them. My last glasses looked like that drinking and driving commercial of the glasses being put in front of each other.
1 - When you wear sunglasses indoors you look like the worst kind of dou***bag.
Here's some Facebook status updates all put in a row so I don't have to write them throughout the winter.
- Wow, winter came fast this year. Where did this snow all come from?
- Why do people always forget how to drive in winter? It happens every year folks.
- Putting away the golf clubs. Bringing out the shovel.
- So sick of shoveling, wished I lived in an apartment right about now.
- Know of any good movies to watch. I am preparing for hibernation.
The only difference that I can see with myself over the past 10 years is that I can now tell when I am in a crappy mood. Where before I just thought everybody else were just being complete dicks.
They predict that this could be the year that Black Friday outsells Boxing Day in some retail stores. Please make this be true. I sometimes wish I could take a forget me now pill and just work Boxing Day and have it be over without knowing it ever happened.
St Vincent - 8.2/10
The Hundred Foot Journey - 7.7/10
The Babadook - 8.9/10
The Babadook is a horror movie that builds up the tension in your mind. The woman that plays the mother is brilliant. It's one of the better horror movies I have seen in quite a while.
Being in social settings quite often I find it very easy to see what type of crazy people are, and am able to adapt to their craziness. It's like having my brain go into the hard drive of my mind and be like. "Oh here we go, a file from 2006. He's this type of crazy. Here's what you need to do to succeed in this conversation."
As a young lad I was always tentative when going to school dances. I am not even sure why I went. I really had no interest in the music or dancing. I was just there to tell people how many beers I drank before the dance. There was always a thought of picking up girls. My only talent for picking up girls was being outrageous at this time. But not outrageous on the dance floor. Therefore I was very unsuccessful picking up girls at dances. Where was I going with this? Yes, I enjoy dancing now.
Starbucks drinks are tasty. They are a**holes for making their drinks the same price as a premium draft beer. When I have to use a 20 to pay for two coffees it will fire me up.
They landed a robot on a comet. Let me repeat this. A ROBOT ON A COMET. It's been in the works for 20 years. That's absolutely remarkable. Unfortunately, Kim Kardashian made top news by being nude in a magazine and saying that she was going to break the internet. Hopefully she is Dorian Grey and somebody will set fire to her painting.
Ariel Pink has a new album out. Most people have tuned this out. They haven't heard of Ariel Pink and wish I would stop talking about music that nobody has ever heard of.
Movember is being done again this year. It might be running out of steam though. They might have to start something different. Maybe Necember. This stands for neck beard December.
Top 3 facts about glasses
3 - They can make a man look like a rapist instantly.
2 - It's surprising how much beating your glasses can take and that you still wear them. My last glasses looked like that drinking and driving commercial of the glasses being put in front of each other.
1 - When you wear sunglasses indoors you look like the worst kind of dou***bag.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Today is Remembrance Day. I plan to show respect downtown Kitchener to the people who serve or have served. People that have given their lives for our freedom and way of life have a special place in my heart.
I have mentioned this before, but how is this not a holiday? We have so many holidays based on religion. There are many different beliefs that people have This day is the one thing that most people can unite upon.
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Impatience I believed was an issue with the new generation. It's not. Everybody is impatient. In a world of drive-thru's and instant responses online I notice that even the older generation can't wait for more then 3 minutes to receive help looking for something. They have no idea what they are looking for, but they need it very quickly.
When you play an excellently organized team in Dodgeball it's frightening. They target in on you. Then you have 5 people that have very good arms throw simultaneously in your direction. I felt like Neo from the Matrix. Then I got hit in the crotch.
With not much available on TV right now. I have heard the new Walking Dead is fantastic, but we haven't delved into it quite yet. I have gone back to watching Band of Brothers and The Wire. I have not seen these shows. They are quite good. It's easy to see how HBO has become such a leader in quality TV shows.
And now a of line from the latest episode of Two Broke Girls in case you missed it.
"Why do you have multiple C batteries in the nightstand in your bedroom?"
Oh, it's for her dildo. That's hilarious!
Too Many Cooks is a thing online. It might just be the perfect way to differentiate the humor of one person to another. Most people think it's the most ridiculous thing they have seen. Sara and I disagree and believe that it's the most brilliant thing on the internet currently. Have a cookie and settle in.
The Toronto Raptors are cooking right now. They haven't even played their best ball yet, and they are off to a 6-1 start. They might be the cream of the crop of the East. We all know LeBron will be there, but other then that? This team is deep. Could be a 50 win season.
The Man From Earth - Acting - 3.9/10 Script - 8.8/10 = 7.5/10
The script is intriguing with the story of a man that grew up in the neanderthal era and is thought to have regenerating cells so he never ages.
The Skrillex concert a couple of weeks ago had multiple people having to go to the hospital for OD'ing and mixing. Heard a terrible joke, but I still giggled. Anyone going to the after party at the hospital later?
Anyone actually get excited about driving into Toronto? I feel like Frodo having to drop a ring into the eye of Mordor everytime I have to go to that soul sucking city. Do they create construction just for confusion? It feels like I am in the Truman Show. "Alright he's going to Bloor St. Everybody get in line and get in his way."
Foo Fighters new album is out. I have heard it. It's ok, It's like adding margarine, but nothing else to microwaved green beans.
During Halloween, Sara and I were at a party. There was a guy that was dressed as the dude from Vikings. He was straight up in character. He was looking around the room looking tough as nails. I was like, "this guy is awesome. He looks terrifying and he never breaks character." Turned out that he was just extremely drunk. He then proceeded to barf in the sink that is meant for the servers. They made him clean it up, which was the perfect scene. Viking man cleaning his own vomit from a sink is unusual to witness.
I have mentioned this before, but how is this not a holiday? We have so many holidays based on religion. There are many different beliefs that people have This day is the one thing that most people can unite upon.
__________________________________________________________________________________
Impatience I believed was an issue with the new generation. It's not. Everybody is impatient. In a world of drive-thru's and instant responses online I notice that even the older generation can't wait for more then 3 minutes to receive help looking for something. They have no idea what they are looking for, but they need it very quickly.
When you play an excellently organized team in Dodgeball it's frightening. They target in on you. Then you have 5 people that have very good arms throw simultaneously in your direction. I felt like Neo from the Matrix. Then I got hit in the crotch.
With not much available on TV right now. I have heard the new Walking Dead is fantastic, but we haven't delved into it quite yet. I have gone back to watching Band of Brothers and The Wire. I have not seen these shows. They are quite good. It's easy to see how HBO has become such a leader in quality TV shows.
And now a of line from the latest episode of Two Broke Girls in case you missed it.
"Why do you have multiple C batteries in the nightstand in your bedroom?"
Oh, it's for her dildo. That's hilarious!
Too Many Cooks is a thing online. It might just be the perfect way to differentiate the humor of one person to another. Most people think it's the most ridiculous thing they have seen. Sara and I disagree and believe that it's the most brilliant thing on the internet currently. Have a cookie and settle in.
The Toronto Raptors are cooking right now. They haven't even played their best ball yet, and they are off to a 6-1 start. They might be the cream of the crop of the East. We all know LeBron will be there, but other then that? This team is deep. Could be a 50 win season.
The Man From Earth - Acting - 3.9/10 Script - 8.8/10 = 7.5/10
The script is intriguing with the story of a man that grew up in the neanderthal era and is thought to have regenerating cells so he never ages.
The Skrillex concert a couple of weeks ago had multiple people having to go to the hospital for OD'ing and mixing. Heard a terrible joke, but I still giggled. Anyone going to the after party at the hospital later?
Anyone actually get excited about driving into Toronto? I feel like Frodo having to drop a ring into the eye of Mordor everytime I have to go to that soul sucking city. Do they create construction just for confusion? It feels like I am in the Truman Show. "Alright he's going to Bloor St. Everybody get in line and get in his way."
Foo Fighters new album is out. I have heard it. It's ok, It's like adding margarine, but nothing else to microwaved green beans.
During Halloween, Sara and I were at a party. There was a guy that was dressed as the dude from Vikings. He was straight up in character. He was looking around the room looking tough as nails. I was like, "this guy is awesome. He looks terrifying and he never breaks character." Turned out that he was just extremely drunk. He then proceeded to barf in the sink that is meant for the servers. They made him clean it up, which was the perfect scene. Viking man cleaning his own vomit from a sink is unusual to witness.
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