Blackberry 10 is out in the next couple of days.  People relax about your phones.  I feel as though people are going to burn down buildings if their phone doesn't work exactly the way they want it to.

Would you ever ask a salesman at FS what bus you needed to take to get there from Galt?

Didn't go to bowling last night, mostly due to the fact that they found a woman's torso a few blocks away from the bowling alley.  That's an excuse that I haven't used before.   

Good way to not get your house blown up.  Stop making meth.

It's really hard to get into any show when you are watching Homeland, Battlestar Galactica, and Star Trek Deep Space Nine exclusively.  Started watching the Following recently.  It's alright, but it's kind of like Burger King breakfast instead of the McDonald's breakfast.

Bet you people would stop taking PED's if it made your penis smaller. You would think that anyways.

Ray Lewis needs to relax.  I understand the emotion for the first game back in front of the home crowd, but crying before every game. 

Story:  Sitting on the beach with my brother in law during our trip in the Everglades.  Small boat approaches, guy and girl are in the boat. 

"Do you know where east beach is man?"
"Sorry dude, we barely made it here."
"It's cool man, we will just go wherever the waves take us."
"Alright, good luck."

Girl hops out of the boat wearing a bikini top, a pair of short shorts, and a pink hat with a pot leaf on it.  If I was to wager I would guess they didn't make it to east beach, and there might not have even been an east beach.

I hear of a lot of people having children and giving them names that would be suitable for the Game of Thrones novels.  I much prefer that to the names that generally symbolize strippers or hipsters.

How would I fix the Big Bang Theory? 

- Bernadette cheats on Howard, and leaves the show
- Have Amy Farrah Fowler be more into table top, comics, and things scifi
- Sheldon and Amy Farrah Fowler break up.
- Amy still hangs out with them, and becomes one of the group. 

- Howard become creepy once again.
- Leonard and Penny break up and Leonard doesn't whine about it.
- Raj gets over his fear of talking to women.
- NO LAUGH TRACK

Chris Hardwick is a comedian that does mostly nerd humor.  His comedy special Mandroid is wonderful, and you should give it a download.

Has there ever been a point in your life that you wished you couldn't grow hair, just because you hate shaving so much?

Even if you can tuck your boobs into your shorts it still doesn't give you the right to do that.

Every time I go through airport security I feel like such a criminal because I won't go through the scanning machine.  My favourite was the officer that was doing my pat down claiming they weren't doing any damage to you, but they were removing them from all airports. 

Trivia Question:  What is the busiest time of year for the strippers in the state of Florida?
A:  The Republican National Conference.     Family values at it's finest.

Going to the Everglades was eye opening.  You always think that alligators are this vicious creature.  They barely bothered us.  We setup camp right beside the swamp area where there were gators and snakes.  They wanted nothing to do with us.  As I wanted nothing to do with them.

There were points on the second day where I really didn't want to be there anymore.  It had just rained, everything was muddy, and sitting in the tent was hard on the back.  I toughed it out and the third and fourth day were very rewarding.  At the time when you are doing it all, you just think to yourself.  What the hell am I doing?  Then you kind of just go with the flow and start enjoying the smaller things.  It was a challenging experience that I would rather not do again right away, but it was rewarding.

Mosquito's should be the vampires of the insect world, and just turn to ash when the sun hits them.

 I feel bad for people with a southern accent.  It doesn't matter how smart you are, you sound like an idiot.

There was a lot of Sufjan Stevens played on the holiday.  Have a listen to the Illinoise album again if you haven't heard it lately.  The vibe of the record is amazing.

Silverlings Playbook - 9.8/10

I thought that nothing could beat Argo for my film of the year, but this movie might have done it.  Every cast member is perfect.  Script is brilliant, should win best screenplay by a landslide.

Ravens/49ers Superbowl and the Flyers are 0-3.  Not the way I wanted to start off my trek back to the real world.

NHL Centre Ice is $49.99 from Rogers for the whole season, just a FYI.

Who stops dead in their tracks at the bottom of an escalator at 1:30am while people are trying to get to their luggage?

We ate a lot of Slim Jim's on our trip.  I am not sure why Macho Man loved them so much.  They are pretty mediocre and don't compare to Pepperettes.

Do any of you women get embarrassed about reading 50 shades of Grey knowing it's literary porn, as guys do watching porn?  When I see a woman reading that book at work, I just wonder what is this doing for you here?  It's like a dude bringing a penthouse into the lunch room.

Next time that you do something that is very tiresome, have a coca cola and some doritos.  I guarantee you will feel better and grosser at the same time.

How can they make bug masks more attractive for the average person?

I don't care what the name of your baby is at 2:00am on a flight back to 17 below Niagara Falls, NY. 

 Why aren't ribs made more often?  They are unbelievable when done properly.  Maybe it's because of the way you look after you eat the ribs.  How did I get rib sauce on my forehead?

I wish old 80's WWE wrestlers were real.  Hanging out with guys like the Iron Sheik and the Junkyard Dog would make my day.  Having the Junkyard Dog being racist towards himself is very strange though.

Do you have to be evil if you are an oil tycoon?

Jewish Rabbi's look tough.  They did a great job at looking good for what they believe in.  This would be a must if I were to believe in something.  You can't wear something that you are embarrassed about for the rest of your life.

If you want to get your point across to a company.  Write a handwritten letter and then send it their head office.  You mean business when you spend time writing a letter. You are old and crazy, but you mean business.

What do I think about Lance Armstrong confessing?  Why does every celebrity believe that they have to have an interview for everything that they do?  If he wants to keep it classy then don't do steroids.

Watching the 49ers/Packers game was frustrating.  3rd and 12, what has Kaepernick done every other time it has been 3rd and long?  I can't believe that he is running again.

Watched a documentary called the "The Invisible War."  It's about women in the military that are constantly getting assaulted and raped, and the authorities are trying to shrug it off that it's their fault or that it goes with the territory of being in that profession.  What other instance does this same philosophy apply?  Jail!

Listening to Nirvana "Smells :Like Teen Spirit" back to back with the new Foo Fighters song "Wheels" should make you sick.  Here try it out.

There is a club called Beta in Waterloo.  The following is what I would need to be convinced to go there.  Free booze, free meal at Bauer Kitchen, a week off of work, and the memories from my mind to be erased after the night ends.

Terry Francona has a tell all book that is coming out about his time with the Red Sox.  Does anybody else find it weird for a person to do this while managing another major league team?

Does anybody else think that Netflix and Twitter might take over the world at some point?

Does anybody else think it's wrong that Scott Gomez gets his whole pay cheque this year, and could also get bought out and be picked up and start making more money for just being a terrible hockey player?

I miss the days of being in hockey pools and people making stupid picks.  "I will draft Nail Yakupov first overall."

Yes Homeland does deserve all of the awards that it got.  Do you enjoy the season long mystery?  Or do you prefer the one episode wrap up?

Leaving for the Florida Everglades on Friday.  Currently in Florida you are able to kill Burmese Pythons for the whole month without penalty.  You have seen those python hunters shows on Discovery?  Well we are going there at this exact time.  I am going to drag a Burmese Python for thirty six miles for the twenty dollars it will fetch.  If that doesn't make you a man I don't know what would.

I have a lot respect for women that don't use their sexuality to sell records.  It just seems that this is the lowest common denominator to sell themselves.  "Oh I can't sing?  I will just take off my top.  Now can I sing?"

Cackling is a terrible way to laugh.  It frightens me.

I like how Facebook asks me how I am feeling?  Strong!

Yes we know that drinking whiskey, eating fast food, drinking certain beers, and using certain deodorants makes you a man.  Can we have some original thought now?

Hockey is back.  For the people that aren't going to give their hard earned money to the NHL because of the lockout.  You think that both sides are greedy, and don't deserve your attention.  I agree with you.  Now drop the puck so I can watch my Flyers play.

Was sick for a couple of days so.....  Once again!

The Hobbit - 6.8/10
Zero Dark Thirty - 9.2/10 (Should be up for best picture)
This is 40 - 7.0/10
The Impossible - 8.5/10 (If you don't get choked up in this movie you are not human.)

The Hobbit was actually better then expected.  I am just not ready to delve back into Middle Earth.  The Lord of the Rings movies were so drawn out that it feels like you are chewing some flavorless big league chew.

Homeland - I would like to apologize for assuming that I wouldn't like you, deepest regrets, Daryl.

Have you ever witnessed someone in the friend zone, and just wanted to tell them that it was never going to happen.  It's a very sad scene indeed.  Rule of thumb.  If they confide about the person they are with, or the person that they are interested in you then you are in the zone.

If deep fried food was healthy, what a wonderful world it would be.


Bill Cosby was talking jive on Fallon the other night.  I thought it was wonderful by how thrown off Fallon was by the whole situation.  It reminded me of when Will Ferrell dressed as Robert Goulet for an episode of Conan.  If you can come out and just improvise the whole time you are on camera you have my instant respect.


Dave Grohl is producing a documentary about a studio just outside of LA that has made some of the best albums of all time.  Now if he could just make some music that is as cool as this.

Whiny nasal voiced rock or Sreaming lead singers?

Watched the Redskins and Seahawks game, and I cringed every time that I saw RG3 run.  How could you leave your franchise QB in there against such a great defense without the ability to run?

Each hockey fan should get to line up with a chance to slap Gary Bettman in the face.  Similar to the Airplane movie.

If you have a full head of hair and you shave it bald after the age of 30 you should be forced to watch the Seinfeld episode about this exact thing. 

Have you ever met a person that isn't interested in anything?  These are the people that sit on airplanes and stare at the back of the seat in front of them.

The second worst job in the history of the world.  Bill collector, worst job.  The dude that back in the day had to wear a suit with honey on it so the bugs would go to him and not land on the guests.

Screech Powers wrote a book of a tell it all behind the scenes of Saved by the Bell.  I shouldn't be intrigued, but I am.

They should have a throw back game of hockey will all of the old equipment.  I really enjoyed that old proline commercial.

Green Bay/Denver Broncos final this year, should be a good one.

Never ask anyone what their deepest darkest secret is.

Why do all scientists look and act like Christopher Lloyd from Back to the Future?  Even my prof in High School never combed his white hair.

If somebody has told you something that you could care less about.  Just say in a very sarcastic tone.  "Oh that's nice."  They will never waste your time again.

Between Christmas and New Years it was a blur of people asking for Ipad Mini's, me eating terribly, and a lack of sleep.  My eye has been twitching recently, I feel like I resemble a cartoon character that has steam coming out of both ears while going extremely red with anger. 

Walmart has done it again.  Walking through they had a tasting station for 5 gum.  Placing sticks of gum at a tasting station is pretty funny though.

Watched a movie called Imposter last night.  It's about a guy from overseas that claimed he was an abducted child from the States, and got away with it.  He lived with the family for 5 or 6 months before finally being caught.  He looked nothing like the kid, he was 7 or 8 years older, and had an accent.  I have no idea how the family didn't know it was their kid.  One of the creepiest documentaries I have ever seen.

Had a dream the other night that Darren McFadden had a detached limb in my game of Madden '12.  He was expected to be out 4 years.  My reaction in my dream was what am I going to do for running back now?

There is something interesting watching somebody that is really into music.  Their reaction to music is completely different to anybody else.  These people will never listen to the radio, and will complain about other people's taste in music.  It's partly because they are music snobs, and partly because it effects their atmosphere when crappy music is being played.  Stay proud music snobs.  You are the only reason why good music is still being made.

Django Unchained - 9.1/10

Django was somewhat uneasy to watch.  There were scenes where you would cringe and not want to watch, but also scenes where you laughed out loud.  There were a lot of mixed emotions all through that movie.  But it was brilliant overall.  DiCaprio was amazing, and should be up for an Oscar.

Take the stickers off of your hat.

Adidas 80's looking shoes still look stupid.

Adrian Peterson is having the best season that I have ever seen anyone have in NFL history.

I feel I look good wearing a toque with a 5 o'clock shadow.

When you heckle at a Comedy Club you will never win.  The guy with the mic will always be better then you.  I think comedians should get a water spray bottle so they can spray the hecklers when they say something stupid.

Yesterday is the first time that I have ever been intimidated by a muscular cat.

 So the Chicago Cubs signed Edwin Jackson to a 10 million dollar a year contract.  Now you know why they  haven't won a World Series in a 100 years.

The Trews are playing Paddyfest in Listowel this year.  That's one of the first times that I have been impressed with the band that they picked.  I think Blue Rodeo played there one year as well.  Usually it's a washed up 80's star that has 1 or 2 hits.  No offense Kim Mitchell.

I can't believe that there is a knock off for the Snuggie.  It's called Forever Lazy, it's a onesie pajama outfit.  Their selling point was that you can talk on the phone while you are in it.

If your child doesn't like brussel sprouts, find another vegetable that they prefer it's not rocket science.

Happy New Year!

Be happy, it's so much more work to be angry.