Highlights of the Arizona trip.

- Hiking the Grand Canyon rim to rim
- Staying in a remote old cabin that was built in the early 1900's. 
- Beautiful scenery everywhere you go in Arizona
- Southern hospitality


Hiking the Grand Canyon was tough.  It was 8 hours of all downhill the first day, and 9 hours of all uphill the next day.  The temperatures were hot throughout, and we had to take multiple breaks to make it.  When you look at the pictures, and have that feeling of accomplishing something that people have died doing.  You realize that it was worth all the pain.  Even if I am probably going to lose a toenail in the process.

Southern hospitality is real.  Every single person that we met were extremely helpful and polite.  Even if I look like an ashamed homeless man with my sketchy beard. 

The last day was a rough day.  We were around an hour out of Phoenix and ran into a road closure because of an accident on the highway.  In Arizona, with all the mountains there are only a couple of highways that take you into Phoenix so we got stuck driving for about 8 hours trying to go around this road closure.  It must have been weird seeing a dude that had turned green with anger driving a Toyota Corolla stuck in traffic.

Bates Motel - 9.0/10

Bates Motel is fantastic.  Really sets a nice tone into the beginning of the end of Norman Bates' mind.

Staying in a rustic wood cabin in the middle of nowhere tended to be a bit creepy.  I was also reading the book World War Z which made me envision what I would do at the cabin if Zombies were attempting to come after Sara and I.  Wouldn't a baseball bat out of a car window doing drive by's on Zombies heads be awesome?

One place you can't run out of toilet paper.  An Airplane!

I think I might go for one of those old timey shaves today at a local barber.  I think that I might need some old timey things to talk about.  "You tried those new lemon biscuits at the Old Towne Bakery yet?"  Oooh their mighty fine.  Biscuits and gravy."

Drawing evil eyebrows on toddlers is a new awesome thing.  If you have a toddler don't feel bad about doing this.  It's endless entertainment.

That weird moment when I realize that Huey Lewis is on my Ipod.  How did Huey Lewis get on my Ipod?  Sometimes I think Sara screws with me.

I envisioned that I would see more snakes then I did on this trip.  We saw a lot of deer and elk, but only one snake.  And I am fine with this.

Ontario could take a few lessons in outdoor living from Arizona.  Camping is free in most areas.  Washrooms are everywhere stocked with toilet paper.  Walking trails are in abundance.  Other then Algonquin I can't think of too many places that are even close to this.

Cottage is open!!!  Well, well, well, we meet again sunshine, steak, and cooler full of beer.

There will be no more powder jokes for this guy.  I have a nice glow to my skin.  It looks similar to an olive garden in the shade of a Niagara Falls Winery.


Silhouette pictures need to be more common.  They always look awesome, and work in every situation to get a laugh.

STP is suing Scott Weiland.  They also have a new lead singer.  The dude from Linkin Park.  The single sounded alright.  This divorce has taken so long to finalize.  Scott Weiland has joined the ranks of how are they not dead yet.

Top 3, how are they not dead yet.

3 - Keith Richards
2 - Lindsay Lohan
1 - Ozzy Osbourne

Bob Dylan didn't make this list because I think he might already be dead.  They Weekend at Bernie's him at concerts to make money.  They just use some old man that has marbles in his mouth to sing.

Leave for Arizona tomorrow morning.  If a snake even attempts to bite me, I am going to bite him right back.  That's right, feel the Smith venom trickle into your veins snake.

Looking at some people's facebook pictures I really question whether they are now escorts or not.

The National - Trouble Will Find Me - 8.0/10

The National's discs always take a while to grow on me.  So I expect this to rise through my ranks throughout this year. 

Witnessed the most successful buck and doe of all time this past weekend.  The weirdest thing about the whole evening was seeing every single person that I knew at the extreme peak of their personalities.  It was like cartoon characters were possessing each persons bodies.

It's really hard to get out of a garbage can if you get thrown in one.

Went to Benjamin's in St. Jacobs this past week with my parents for Sara's birthday dinner.  The food was fantastic.  pistachio crusted lamb steak topped with horse radish, yeah that's right, I hope you are eating a cheeseburger from McDonald's while you read this.

Today was a day of finding songs that have fell into the void of my hard drive.  Wolf Like Me by TV on the Radio was found.  It smelt like BO, and had a giant beard, but sounded better then ever.

Norm MacDonald has a podcast now that you can catch on Youtube.  I have only seen one episode, but it's classic Norm MacDonald.  Best thing about his stuff on youtube is that he can now swear.  He always had the best bits on SNL. 

Who would your all-star team be for SNL?  I only started watching in the early 90's so.....

C - Will Ferrell
LW - Norm MacDonald
RW - Mike Myers
D - Adam Sandler
D - Dana Carvey
G - Tim Meadows
Head Coach - Alec Baldwin

No women in there.  Kristen Wiig is about the only one that I would even consider, but when you think of the most memorable sketches of all time she is not in them. 

The joke always comes up with customers about me not remembering certain technologies because I am too young.  I do remember these technologies, I just don't look as old as you.

Skittles always seem like a great idea at the beginning of the package.  By the end, they still taste great, but my stomach feels like I am eating rocks.

Six degrees on Sunday for Slopitch eh?  11-6 for the Hissing Cucarcacha's.  Take that weather.

The poor Leafs.  I almost felt bad for the way that they lost that final game.  As a Flyers fan, and going through years and years of turmoil I can relate.  Do you know what makes you feel better?  Not having Ilya Bryzgalov as your goaltender for the next 37 years.

Nothing feels better then throwing down playing cards in an aggressive style when you have a winning hand.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Seinfeld, and Arrested Development.  If you don't find any of these shows funny.  You need a brain replacement.

Watched an interesting episode of 16x9 about how Prozac and other drugs similar are doing more harm then good, and some people have had suicidal, and violent thoughts while taking this "Happy" drug.  People have to be monitored for the first bit.  What?  Isn't this the opposite of what a "Happy" drug is supposed to do.  As I remember from the Kids in the Hall.  It's supposed to locate your happiest memory.

I bet you 99% of people would have a happiest memory of something that is just ridiculous.  Petting  a dog, going to the bathroom, or leveling up in World of Warcraft.

The Place beyond the Pines - 9.0/10

Gosling, Mendes, Liotta, and Cooper.  What a terrific movie.  Layered with different story lines, that all connect.  There aren't many movies that put a smile on my face while I watch it, but this is one of them.

Started men's slo-pitch last night.  Apparently our team all took steroids in the offseason.  Or maybe we have just developed some of that old man strength.

Don't go out in public wearing velcro shoes as a grown man.  Even when they were at the top of their game in the late 80's velcro shoes were always saved for people that weren't capable of tying their shoes.  Not for people too lazy to tie their shoes.  I own a pair of velcro shoes.  These shoes were worn to complete costumes, and walk into high end car dealerships for looks.

Hockey playoffs have been quite entertaining so far. I haven't been quite as attached due to my precious Flyers not being in the playoffs, but what I have caught has been good. 

Marc Andre Fleury must have caught Ilya Bryzgalov disease when they played each other last year.

Just give me one fifth of Michael Jackson's dance moves.  That's all I need.

Netflix is starting to gain more and more power.  I predict that a lot of the best shows are going to turn to Amazon and Netflix to have more creative freedom.  Wouldn't you love to see some shows just have one beautiful season, and not have so much filler. 

I can't believe how much money is wasted on flowers and jewelery.  You tell me ladies.  Does it mean more to you when your significant other says or does something extremely thoughtful for you, or spends money and buys you flowers or jewelery?  Jewelery and flowers are not thoughtful by the way they are just things that we purchase because we can't think of anything else.

The duck that lives outside our town house complex intimidates me.  He lays right beside my car and quacks at me when I try to get into the car.  I went in the passenger side the other day.

Golf bag, golf bag, golf bag.  Just trying to create some good karma for a prize win for tomorrow night's buck and doe.

Sara and I leave for Arizona next weekend.  Hiking the Grand Canyon, and doing some other things in the area.  We will see how good of shape we are in with this hike.  It's one of the toughest in the US.  We are stopping in Vegas to put money on ourselves to complete it.

Cackling laughs are the worst.  You sound evil and it makes everyone around you irritated.  Create a new laugh if you have a cackle laugh. 

People always react like dogs when you rub their back.  They lean into the back rub and straighten up. 

Favourite song right now is by the Local Natives have a listen



It's great seeing everybody support Jason Collins on coming out.  Now, let's see what team puts their money where their mouth is and sign him to a contract.  That will really see how far we have come in major league sports.

Obama's joke about Beyonce and Jay-Z "I've got 99 problems, and now Jay-Z's one."  Now that's comedy.

What do we get with Stephen Harper?.  "Well at least I wasn't a camp counselor or a drama teacher.".

I won a trip to Quebec City from a Quebec Tourism website.  5 nights at a fancy hotel.  5 dinners at 5 different fine dining restaurant.  Passes to a bunch of local museums, and $250.00 spending money.  What did I do to win this contest?  I put my name and email in a draw.  Out of 8,400 people they drew my name.  Yes, I am lucky, but how many goals do you score if you don't take any shots?

We have a weird little farm here at the townhouse complex.  We now have a mallard duck that lives in the area.  There is no water near us, but he is always around. 

Was I really just singing along to a Of Monsters and Men song? 

DJ'd a buck and doe last night.  It was huge success for the couple.  They had a fantastic idea of having a twoonie toss for a 60 of Crown Royal, and then had a loonie toss for a bubba of Heineken.

Stupid American spell check, you just don't know about the twoonie and loonie.

Those Quest commercials on late night TV are awesome.  This super hot 20 year old picks up her 1996 cordless phone and dials up Quest to talk to a 54 year old single men.  That sounds like an awesome Saturday night.

Sara and some of our family went back to Alleghany State Park this past weekend.  She was going to put out some raw chicken, honey, and some M&M's to attract the Sasquatches. 

If there were Sasquatches wouldn't we have caught one by now.  These are Neanderthal creatures that are gigantic, hairy, and supposedly dumb.  Oh I guess we have caught one.  He plays for the Boston Bruins and wears number 33.  There you go Leaf fans now leave me alone.

Winter straight to summer eh?  I can deal with that.

Stressed out Sunday's starts again today.  This is co-ed slopitch for those that don't know the term.  Team do you know the rules of baseball now?  Have you been studying in the off season or just partying.  I should have made them sign the form from Dazed and Confused.

So I sneezed on myself in the car.  Trying to drive in a construction area while sneezing is a difficult thing to accomplish.

Currently reading World War Z.  There is a  movie coming out shortly based on the book, that looks absolutely nothing like the book.  Brad Pitt making pancakes then saving the world.  Stole that joke!

There should be a roast of a celebrity, and have the celebrity completely overreact and make everything extremely uncomfortable.

Has there ever been a smart man named Bobo?

Best line that I have ever heard a DJ say.  Do you know what song really gets everyone going and never fails to get the young people on the dance floor?  Mambo No. 5.  This was said to me 3 years ago.

twitter:  @hosehead12

I will also take hand written letters.  I would really like a hand written letter actually.  Put a scratch and sniff sticker on it for me as well.