Do you know those people that would drive into a ocean if the GPS told them to?  Well that is me.  I drove to Buffalo instead of Niagara Falls.  The wrong casino in the GPS can cause haywire.

There is a huge music festival coming to Kitchener.  Aerosmith, Slash, Bryan Adams, Collective Soul, and Moist.  Tickets go on sale today.  Here's the information if anybody is interested in going.  I will be going on the Sunday only.  Mr. Roboto is not enough for me to see STYX.  Tickets go on sale at 10am.


www.bigmusicfest.com

You can't give up an average of 40-50 shots a game and expect your goaltenders not to break down at some point.  Who do you think you have back there?  Ron Tugnutt?  #RealisticLeafHater1

Divergent came out.  It's amusing listening to somebody trying to explain how it doesn't  completely rip off the Hunger Games.

Bill Murray is awesome.  Read a story today about how he was paid $9,000 to be in the movie Rushmore.  There is a scene in the movie where Max is directing a play that requires a fake helicopter to be flown onto the stage.  Disney did not want to pay for this.  Bill Murray shelled out $25,000 to pay for the helicopter.  He believed it was important for the story.  So in the end he paid $16,000 to be in Rushmore.

It looks like August long weekend will be the first weekend of golf.  Great work weather.

There was choas last night on the internet.  Sara and I were on the Daily Show promoting our super exciting lives.  I look a lot older on TV.  Sara looks excellent though.

 Sara and I are also going to the Juno's in Winnipeg.  Sara won tickets on Monday.  We fly out on Saturday morning.  Prize includes flight, hotel, tickets, and $500.00 spending money.  I am most excited about the red carpet.  Maybe I can get people that write blogs that nobody reads to interview me.

Sears Canada and Bergdorf Goodman are by far the hardest emails to get rid of.  They are the mustard on your underwear?

Top 3 things that I have drank because it was in the position on the table that my cup is usually in.

3 - Mustard
2 - Cream
1 - Beer with cigarette butts in it

The CW is the Nickelback of TV.  They just keep on writing the exact same story in different ways.  And it always sells.  "The 100" is the latest.

Spring training is still on.  I have a hard time thinking of anybody that is trying to lose their job as much as JA Happ is.  Maybe George Costanza when he wears Babe Ruth's jersey while working.  I believe he gets mustard on it as well.  Mustard, mustard, mustard.

Do you know how I know that our lunchroom is better then your lunchroom?  We watch Arrested Development and Seinfeld and you watching fu***** Friends.

I am not sure how I would react if somebody ran at me with a 2x4.

You can always trust somebody that watches Nascar.  Anybody that has the patience to watch cars going around in a circle for 5 hours has gained my trust.

Just finished my first YouTube video.  Here it is.

I believe in Karma.  I believe in positive energy.    There is nothing better than walking into a room and just having that feeling that you are in the right spot at the right time. You have the ability to walk right up to any person and feel that they are going to have something awesome to say.

Being in a social atmosphere constantly has given me the ability to gauge a person's attitude with nothing more than a few words and their body language.  You always get that same feeling of fantastic energy when you are dealing with someone that has nothing but positive vibes.  It's almost as if they have a glow to them. These are the type of people that I want to surround myself with. 

Have you ever had a friend that you were always attempting to prop up?  They are always talking badly about themselves, trying to get you to react? Always talking about how crappy their luck was?  Almost expecting bad things to happen.  These are carnivores that steal my positive energy.  They chew it up and vomit it back out as filth. 

This isn't my usual blog.  People talk about how lucky Sara and I are with our contest wins.  There is no question that we are extremely lucky.  I am just here to tell you that I think luck can be created. 

Now I must go and lay in the grass, listening to Peter, Paul, and Mary while sipping on a herbal tea bought in the organic section of Fiddleheads. 

Apparently insomnia is increasing in the younger generation. This is due to not being able to shut their brains off or wind down.  Well apparently being able to shut my brain down is not a problem for me.  Just eat potato chips before bed.  It will put you to sleep.  Being a doctor is easy.


Have you ever attempted to download a video editing program for free?  You might as well walk through a dog park blindfolded.  This dog park also has ass**** owners that don't pick up their dogs poop. 


St. Patrick's Day was yesterday.  This is a pub's waitress worst nightmare.  All courtesy goes out the window and people are just staring at you like zombies from a fenced in yard.   

After the Olympics end.  The same thing always happens.  TSN thinks that since viewership was so great for curling during that time that they should play every curling event.  Then after a few months they realize that Canadians only really care about watching curling when there is a gold medal on the line.  I apologize to those people wearing Jennifer Jones jerseys right now.  You are in the minority.  Also do they sell curling jerseys?

How do you make Turkey chili?  You replace ground beef with ground turkey.

All is lost - 8.2/10

Great movie, very similar to Castaway.  Robert Redford is stellar in a one man performance.  It's so rare that you can actually feel yourself in the same situation that he is in while watching the movie. 

Baseball is about to start up.  What the hell did players do before Tommy John surgery?  Pitchers would be retiring daily. 

There is a tiny window of opportunity for the Jays.  They really need one of their young pitchers to step up and be a number two.  Drew Hutchison would be my choice to make that jump. 

I know a thing or two about rocking looks that have been gone from the scene for years.  I rocked a mullet way past it's expiry date.  You just can't rock that soul patch.  It's gone! 

We have gone through some spring cleaning in the house recently.  Why do I have so much stuff that is so useless?  Did I really think I was going to play Trivial Pursuit on the Wii?  You still have to read the damn question on the TV.  I saved myself the movement of the pie on the board and that's it.

Sara's brother dominated us on a board game night again.  I am beginning to run out of excuses why I haven't won in a while.  My next plan is to start adding more alcohol to his beer. 

People always tell me to give country music another chance.  New country is so much better than old country and blah, blah, blah.  As soon as I hear that twang in their voice I am out.  Anybody that hates country knows exactly what I'm talking about.

You know what's going to be awesome.  When I can go outside of my house again.  This winter is as long as a four part series on how your driver training teacher can eat so many chips and dip on a short 15 minute break.

Sorry Adam Sandler.  You have developed Eddie Murphy disease.  You are not humorous to to anybody that has an IQ over 50 anymore.  You must either transform into a serious actor or die a death of Gilbert Gottfried voice impressions.

Sara and I had an ultimate night of hipster glory recently.  Going to a vinyl store, then to a used book store, and finally to a pub to enjoy some micro brewery beer.  The complete opposite of this would be to go online and purchase the same records of Itunes, then go online and purchase the same books for their tablet.  And then ultimately go to Boston Pizza to enjoy a Budweiser on tap.  Which one sounds better to you? 

Most answers for the above question is the following: illegally download the music, I don't read books, and I have a case of beer at home.

At one point my hometown was turning into the casino circuit when it was bringing acts to town.  Kim Mitchell and Helix?  This year they brought in Sloan and last year they had the Trews.  You receive a Wiserhood slow clap for the turnaround.

Started to watch True Detective last night.  What has gotten into Matthew McConaughey?  When did he get into the conversation of best actor right now? 

If you want to have a chuckle go look at Kate Hudson's IMDB list of movies she has been in over the past 20 years?  It fills the stat sheet similar to Eric Hinske's career with the Jays.

For those that feel like slaves to the vote for Sara and my contests.  Please shut up and continue to vote.

Rob Ford was on Jimmy Kimmel and feels as though he was embarrassed intentionally.  This is a choose your own adventure ending.

a) It's a fu***** comedy show.  What the fu** did you think was going to happen
b) You sweat too much.
c)  Can you do something useful and eat Justin Bieber.   

300: Rise of an Empire - 6.3/10



Went to the Sony event last week that Sara won tickets for.  We both received wireless bluetooth speakers and Celine Dion CD's.  Her face does look similar to a horse.

It was cool to be able to dress up in the breaking bad outfits and seeing all the cool technology that is going to be released.  I felt terrible for the musician there.  He was a solo artist that looked like he sold his soul to Sony to perform there.

I found out that there are some women that can't go to the bathroom when their husband or boyfriend are in the house.  This is what a man with colitis has nightmares about.  Also, What? Why?

Paul Pierce = I would rather wear an Araujo jersey.

I still can't believe that he lost a jump ball to Nate Robinson.  He was almost a foot and a half taller.

People wonder how I began to cheer for the Philadelphia Flyers as a small lad.  I always had a thing about going against the grain even as a child.  Philadelphia had a war going on against the heavily favoured Edmonton Oilers.  Everybody and their mother were cheering for Wayne Gretzky and the Oilers.  I didn't want any part of this bandwagon nonsense.  I wanted to cheer for the team with the crazy goaltender and the mammoth number 12 that just sat in front of the net.  Also my favourite colour was orange.

Windows XP is not being supported by Microsoft anymore.  The grumpy old population is up in arms again. 

I might purchase a pair of those good old boy jeans.  You know the really, really, really blue jeans that barely bend when you put them on.

George Strombo is taking over for Hockey Night in Canada.  One thing that they changed is that they toned down Don Cherry.  This was the worst thing that they did.  It was awesome to see what this racist crazy old man was going to say next.

Each year that a man gets older his enjoyment for cutting the grass increases.  This also applies to washing the car.

They always warn you not to run with scissors.  Are there a lot of kids that run with scissors?  I don't think as a child that I had the scissors in my hands that often.  Not enough to be warned not to run with them.

As a child there was nothing more disappointing then having a pile of snow drop and it not being the type of snow that you could make snow balls with. 

Sure fire way to cause chaos for other people up in the house hold.  Make the wireless password the answer to a riddle that you left on the kitchen table.

Flying into Kitchener instead of Toronto might be the best thing that has ever been invented by anyone anywhere.   You aren't going to get me on this trick again.  "Oh the 401 is cut down to one lane at 2:07am on a Sunday night."  

From what I saw of Chicago it seems to be a little more upscale as far as restaurants go than New York.  It might have been the area of Chicago that we were in, but New York seems a lot more dinery.

Kid in front of us was chugging whiskey with only two layers of clothing on.  3 min into the second period was his demise.

Oscar's were predictable last night.  For those that think DiCaprio should have won best actor.  You obviously haven't seen Dallas Buyers Club yet. 

Real Estate - Atlas - 8.3/10 

Bigfoot Bounty is a show that offers 10 million dollars if you find Bigfoot.  They raised the prize from 1 million to 10 million to entice more people to try to find Bigfoot.  You might as well offer the soul of a 81 year old Korean Man or the ghost of the Crocodile Hunter in an urn. 

Apparently there is interest in creature porn.  Bigfoot, swamp thing, minotaur.  If your interest has swayed towards these things you might have to be cutoff from the internet. 

Sears was the original Amazon.  You looked at those catalogs and they had everything you could possibly want.  Instead of changing they are still rocking the catalogs.  Who is running this company?

There is a bar in Chicago that has turtle races as part of their nightly entertainment.  This would probably start off by being awesome and then turn into that episode of the Simpsons when they are watching Soccer in the stadium.

Excitement, disappointment, and being a di** all in one conversation.

Q:  You into sports?
A:  Yeah!
Q:  Hockey, baseball, football, or basketball?
A:  Football
Q:  Yeah, who's your team?
A:  Manchester

The Iphone 4 pictures look similar to that Dora the Explorer camera pics that you gave your nephew for Christmas last year.  You looked for a Spiderman one, but all they had left was Dora.

Rush - 8.5/10

Zero expectations for this flick.  Really enjoyed it in the end.  Car racing is still for morons, but the movie was good.

Sara is a finalist for the Wiserhood commercial.  This is a gentlemens Whiskey club.  If you know anything about Sara you know that she absolutely adores straight whiskey.

Most Americans don't go to sporting events to actually watch the game.  They go there to out yell the opposing teams fans while inebriated.  Athletes get upset at Canadian fans because they aren't loud enough for their satisfaction.  No, we just aren't idiots that cheer just for the sake of cheering.

People that watch other people play video games on Youtube?  Why is this a thing?

There will hopefully never be a time in my life that I don't turn Nirvana up when it comes on my Ipod.

Went to the Imax in the museum in Chicago.  They did a great job of keeping everybody awake.  Having the guy sound like Morgan Freeman, playing soothing music, video of fish swimming around a reef, with super comfortable seats.  More than 50% of the crowd was sleeping. 

I like to think that I am super sophisticated.  I then realize that my favorite part of yesterday was watching two baby turtles fight each other in the aquarium.  Sara and I commentated the battle for at least five minutes.