Recently went to a pub in Kitchener that serves up local fine craft beer.  And no, this place is not called Imbibe.  It's called The Bent Elbow.  They have 23 beers on tap at any given time and have fairly decent food as well.  The best part about the pub is that in the men's washroom they have a urinal, and the handle of the urinal is a Bud Light handle.  If you don't understand the reference there is a good chance that Bud Light is your beer of choice.  Never had such a good time in a men's washroom.  That came across awful, but still needed to be said.

What is with all the Nintendo stats in the NFL this year.  Multiple 400 yd passing games.  Receivers breaking 150 yds on a consistent basis.  I guess it makes for exciting football, but it's looking an awful lot like the CFL out there right now. 

This is the End - 9.5/10

What a wonderful movie.  Each Hollywood star portraying an extreme version of them self. Danny McBride, Michael Cera, and Emma Watson are all fantastic.

You have all seen the homeless dudes at the light posts at busy intersections.  It is never the same homeless dude though.  Do they have shifts?  "You get the light post from 8-10am and I will take it from 10-12pm."  Is there a chain of command?  Don't take Larry's light post at 7am if you know what's good for you.  I saw him whisker rub somebody to death once." 

Made tacos last night, and felt the strange urge to fry the vegetables instead of putting them on top at the end.  What a brilliant move, my only brilliant move of the day.  Fried onions and green peppers are absolutely phenomenal on tacos.  It had my mouth watering similar to Lindsay Lohan's mouth when she thinks about mixing cars and alcohol together.

Last night was the last co-ed slopitch game of the year.  I was the last out on a terrible pitch to swing at.  I might as well have taken a nine iron out attempted to hit the ball with that.  There is nothing tougher than a man yelling "shoot" at the top of his lungs because of his consideration for children.

Driving to Pittsburgh for a baseball playoff game.  Would anyone like to join me?  Only serious applicants should apply.

Went for a massage recently.  There is something in the man's brain that will never say that something hurts too much.  My masseuse is a very strong woman.

Top 3 foods that I have been missing out on until I was exposed to the beauty of them, and regret not trying or loving them earlier.

3 - Horse Radish
2 - Mahi Mahi and just about everything fish related, but especially Mahi Mahi fish.
1 - Everything Indian food. 

This is going to be the next huge thing on the intranets.  You heard it here first.  Actually it might already be a huge thing, but I would like to look sharp here.

When there is a Doritos bag around your sitting area it might be the hardest thing of all time to not open the bag and start eating them.  Even if it's 8am there's a good chance that I will open the bag and eat at least three until I realize what I am doing.  I will then eat one more and put the bag down.  My brain with then tell my mouth that it's OK to have just one more.  Then it goes in the cupboard so I don't have to look at them anymore.

Watched the documentary Black Fish recently.  This is a documentary about Killer Whales being in the possession of aquariums and having children and adults riding them, and having them do tricks for food.  In this case ignorance is not bliss.

Arctic Monkey's - AM - 8.0/10
Washed Out  - Pharacosm - 8.3/10

It's been years since I really enjoyed something that the Arctic Monkey's put out.  This album has quite a bit of their earlier sound incorporated into it, but sounds a little more grown up and spread out through the record.  Solid, solid, solid!!!

Own a leather jacket that has fur around the neck.  I am not sure what the fur is made of, but my neck has a rash on it after I wear this thing for more than an hour.  Sometimes a rash is worth looking absolutely fantastic for a small amount of time.

Here's a way that you don't sell your establishment having your Christmas Party.  "We will put out the buffet on the pool tables."

There is nothing your brain will hate more for than you sniffing on a magic marker because you like the smell.

Went to the Toronto International Film Festival to see Oculus starring Karen Gillan and Katee Sackhoff last night.  Katee Sackhoff was at the opening, as were a few of the other actors that were in the movie.  Fantastic creepy movie, that had a real Shining feel to it.


Oculus - 8.9/10
World War Z - 5.5/10


One thing that I noticed about hipsters that I hadn't realized before.  They don't laugh.  They are generally trying to be wittier than the other person within the conversation.  The wittiness bar just increases and increases with no actual laughter.  It is tiring being with hipsters.

Driving home from Toronto there is nothing scarier than seeing those construction arrows cutting down the highway down to one lane.  It was actually more terrifying than the movie.  We got through the construction unscathed, but being in a traffic jam at 3am is one of my worst nightmares.

Matt Mays is playing an acoustic set later on in September at the Starlight for anybody that would like to join me in seeing him.

There are some contests that I was entering recently.  Having dinner with Justin Trudeau was one of them.  You are asked to donate to the Liberal party after you have entered the contest.  Is there anything worse than you can give your money to than a political party?  There are 6789 different charities that are more deserving of my money.

Bacon Wrapped Meatloaf, just thought I would throw that out there.

Why are there burgers that now have french fries on it?  Fries are always the side anyways.  Do you not have time to make two separate hand motions?  Maybe we should also throw the coke in there as well.


Sara was telling me that there are countries that she has visited that you can pay money to throw a grenade and blow up livestock.  I know that this isn't funny, but I still laughed.  Just the thought of blowing up a cow makes me laugh.

Oh the poor karaoke people that can't actually sing, but believe they can sing.  You poor souls.  "Oh, yes, bring up Frank again.  Oh he's going to sing Paradise by the Dashboard Lights?  Right on, that's only an eight minute song.  I am going to get a drink."

It's week one and my fantasy team has already made me angry.

 I sometimes think that I would like to live in Toronto.  Then I spend some time there.

Top 3 female athletes that terrify me.

3 - Serena Williams
2 - Venus Williams
1 - The Williams Sisters



At work recently I was talking to a customer that had just had a cigarette.  She was talking a little too close to me, and all I could smell was tobacco.  After talking to her I felt like I had a cigarette myself.  The taste was in my mouth until lunch time.  Gum was no match for the stale smoke out of this 50 year old woman that looked like she was 84.  She could be a tobacco mouthed Medusa.

Oh those are nice pictures of the sunset in Kitchener.  Please show me some more pictures like that. 


Watching somebody being dragged by a really fast lawnmower is something that I would like so see in my lifetime.

You always envision a bean bag chair as this comfy thing that you are going to be so productive on.  Meanwhile you sit on it for ten minutes.  Maneuvering for all ten minutes, and then say this stinks I am going back to the couch.  Then it loses it's beads on the floor somehow and you have to clean it up.  Don't buy a bean bag chair.

NFL starts up tomorrow night.  The defending Super Bowl Champions start on the road against the Denver Broncos.  In Denver they have two giant posters up at Mile High .  One of Peyton Manning and one of Joe Flacco.  Two things wrong here.  Why are the Ravens starting on the road?  Why does Denver have a giant poster of Joe Flacco?  I am pretty sure that you don't need to advertise NFL football in Denver.

You would think a few things at the age of 35 would subside.  One of them would be acne on your face.  Getting a pimple on your nose is rough enough as a teenager.  As a 35 year old man, I need to grow a patchy beard to show that I shouldn't be working the fry station at a taco bell.

Anybody have another NFL pool for me to join?  I am only in about 10 now.  It's a part time job for me during the NFL season. 

When you come in for a job interview regardless for what it's for.  Put some type of effort into it.  Jeans and a MMA shirt does not cut it for any job.  If you wouldn't hire yourself there is something wrong.

Yes, yes, yes, I finally started watching Breaking Bad.  And yes it is as addictive as the meth that they make.
Yes, Bryan Cranston deserves every award he gets.  Shaking! "now let me get back to it."


Playing it cool after you tweak your back trying to lift an 18L water bottle is difficult to do.  The dude saw how much I was struggling with it.  He gave me the "you OK there?"  I gave him the "Yeah man, all good just trying to get a better grip."

Didn't like hearing the story about St. Jacobs.  Crappy things are going to happen.  I wish that we could pick and choose where the crappy things could happen.  If one of the Apple buildings burnt down they could probably build another one within 65 seconds.

Saskatchewan - the place where you can watch your dog run away for days.

Looking for hockey equipment.  I haven't played hockey in years, but feel that I could be an asset to each and every rec team that is looking for a great beer drinker and somebody that can make them feel better about their own hockey skills.

Top 3 video games that at one point owned the party, and now....

3 - Mario Party
2 - Guitar Hero/Rock Band
1 - Everything Nintendo Wii

I remember going over to people's houses just to play the Wii.  If somebody asked me to go over to their house to play their Wii now I would have to come up with an excuse.  Maybe that I am knee deep into a game of Operation.

Meanwhile in Japan -  They have maid cafe's.  The premise of going to these cafe's is that you order a tea or coffee, and a dessert and then play a kids game with a girl that is in their mid 20's that is dressed as a teenager.  Everybody gets really excited when you win at the game and you receive a picture with your server.  This is weird enough, but being that Sara was pretty much the only girl there and practically everyone that was there was in their 40's it was very odd. 

Star Trek - Into Darkness - 7.5/10
42 - 7.7/10

Star Trek wasn't bad, but they ripped off too much story line from the original Wrath of Khan and have very weak female characters in the movies.  As far as action goes, it was excellent.  Disappointed though overall.  Captain Kirk is not as big of a dick as he is portrayed in these movies. 

Do you enjoy the cringe worthy interviews when the interviewer is going for the laughs and interviewee doesn't know it's supposed to be funny?  Watch the MTV interview with the dude from the National.  Painful!

Tough week ahead for those people heading off to College and University.  Frosh week has damaged quite a few livers over the years.  Don't let yours be next.

I'm tired! The absolute worst way to answer how you are doing.   When you are asked how you are doing the person is only asking out of pure politeness.  They generally don't really care how you are doing unless you have a positive answer or something actually interesting to tell them.  By answering tired you have now made things uncomfortable by making the other person ask why you are tired.  This is the beginning of a terrible conversation.  Another option you could use is saying something out of the ordinary like that you just ate a submarine sandwich from Mr. Sub and that they have a drug addict that served you.  This will be much more interesting for all parties.  Thank You, and have a great day.

Daryl Smith MD

Miley Cyrus put on a great performance with Robin Thicke last night at the MTV awards.  She had such class and dignity out there.  I think she is on the road back to becoming a very respectable act that all parents should allow their kids to go see.  Sarcasm just dripped off of that last "e" if you look closely.

Story:  So I thought originally that my Ipod Classic had died.  I take into the Apple Store at Conostoga Mall.  Here's the conversation.

Me:  Can you have a look at my Ipod?  It's not powering whatsoever.
Dude:  Did you make an appointment with a genius?
Me:  An Apple Genius?  No, I didn't know that was required.
Dude:  Yes, you are supposed to see an Apple Genius.
Me:  Ok, can I make an appointment?
Dude:  You must call in.
Me:  I am right here, can't I just make an appointment now?
Dude:  Let me have a quick look at it.
(He attempts to reset it, which I had done one thousand times.)
Dude:  Drive is dead, you could get a refurbished one for $139.99.
Me:  Okay sounds good can I do that?
Dude:  You must make an appointment.
Me:  To purchase an Ipod?   I have the money right here, can't I just buy it?
Dude:  You need an appointment.
 
D Smith almost had an aneurysm.  I had to wander around the mall for a while to figure out what just happened.  It ended with some New York Fries and some ice cream.  This prevented the tears from flowing.

Have you ever seen a city so fired up for baseball? And have every hope and dream crushed by under achieving ball players, and a Manager that seems like he cares more about his pulled pork poutine more than his ball team.  Oh shucks John Gibbons, maybe you should put on some overalls, put some hay in your mouth and walk out to the hillside to have a look at the demolition derby off in the distance.

Lays had that contest of coming up with your own chip flavours.  Grilled Cheese with ketchup I think is the best.  There is a maple moose chip.  As you would expect it's terrible.

Currently reading a fantastic book called the Humans which is about an alien that comes down and possesses a body of a scientist that creates something that shouldn't have been created yet.  The alien has absolutely no knowledge about humans.  It's pretty humorous some of the situations that he gets in.

Top 3 things that lost their flavour very quickly.

3 - Borat
2 - Bud Light (wassssup commmercials)
1 - Big League Chew

I had somebody say wassssupp to me recently.  They realized what they did was wrong, and quickly apologized.  This is the proper course of action for using this line.

Had a customer comment on a song that was on my Ipod at the store recently.  He wanted to know what the song was and if he could buy it from us.  I went into how the band started, and all the albums they had out, and that I had seen them live just recently.  He had to reiterate that he just wanted to know the song and if he could get the album.  Junip - In the Line of Fire was the song.  Oh it just made my day.

I would have a very hard time dealing with a bird flying into my home.  I think that it would just have me moving out and living somewhere else.

Improv seems very difficult to me.  Had a dream last night that I was attempting it, and it was still difficult for me even though I controlled everyone's reactions.

Wearing a mask out and about will always put people on their toes being around you.

Fan Expo was this past weekend.  Rob Ford arm wrestled Hulk Hogan and won.  He then proclaimed that he owned Toronto.  The Hulkster should have ripped Rob Ford's arm out of his socket and beat him in the head with it.

NSYNC performed last night at the MTV Video Awards.  No real opinion on that, just thought that the female demographic that reads my blog would want to know about this.  It's right in their wheelhouse.

Let's have a poll.  Which big band that I remember from my teens will be the next to hit the Casino Circuit?  Weezer was my choice, but they just recently started on it.

Do you know what people in the customer service industry love?  For people to snap their fingers or whistle at them when they need help.  Really makes them want to help you out.  You will get the best possible customer service with this approach.  I wish I  had a bag of popcorn every time that this happened so I could just throw it off of their forehead.

One of the best headlines that I have ever seen in a National Enquirer.  "Man runs for Mayor of his town against himself."  He had two heads.

Went to a metal show last night.  This just proves that music always sounds better live.  Really enjoyed the show, and the band that I went to see in particular put on a great show. 

At our townhouse complex there is a kid that feeds that rabbits near by with lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, and other vegetables.  One day he put out left over burgers and steak.  The townhouse complex might be in trouble if the rabbits become carnivores.  Have you seen Monty Python the Holy Grail?  Rabbits shooting straight for my neck would be a frightening way to get to the car.

Pain and Gain - 8.0/10

The Rock has some pretty good acting chops when it comes to comedy.  Maybe he should stop the typical out for revenge with a baseball bat movies and focus on this.  Or maybe he should just keep on working out.  Option two is probably more realistic.

Portlandia - I have never seen a show quite like it.  It has quite a few Kids in the Hall themed sketches.  It's very hit and miss.  If it hits it's wonderful, if it misses it misses badly.

My Ipod Classic has passed away.  We had many great times together.  I attempted to resuscitate it by singing National songs into the bottom of it, but this did not work.  It was pronounced dead at 1:03PM on Tuesday.

Many of you like Red Lobster.  Whenever I envision somebody that proclaims that Red Lobster is their favourite restaurant.  I always envision a man with slick backed hair, wearing a terrible striped shirt tucked into his too tight of slacks with 3 children, and a wife that has a Peggy from Married with Children type hair and heels on.  This seems very specific, but I believe necessary for this segment.

Sara purchased an Aaron Rodgers jersey and a cheese head for me to wear for our adventure to the beautiful city of Detroit for the Thanksgiving game.  I have begun to workout to make sure that I look intimidating on this day.  I plan on deepening my voice even a little further to come across as someone that you don't want to mess with.

Cyclops had it rough as a X-Men character.  Wolverine was always stealing his woman, and he always had to wear glasses or he shot lasers out of his eyes.  As a character I give him 3.3/10.

After watching film of me dancing I have decided that I have very distinct dance moves.  They more resemble a dude in the play Flashdance (if there was a play for Flashdance?) rather than Michael Jackson though.  If you would have poured water over me while I was in the chair it would have been game over.

Free samples, yes please!  I am not sure what I am going to do with one teeth whitening strip, but thank you very much.

Whenever people are typing please don't stand over their shoulder while they type.  People have never screwed up typing as much as when this is happening.

People will never bother you if you have headphones on and are getting really into your music.

Next time you would like to confuse somebody.  Take a pad of paper out and observe what they are doing while taking notes.

Can we stop with every pub calling themselves something and the something.  It's all very confusing. Sometimes I am driving around Kitchener because I thought I knew of the place, but it wasn't Fox and the Fiddle it was the Beaver and the Bulldog.   Crying in my car is the end result. 

Cigars after weddings is a tradition that I like.  Two things that don't like this tradition.  My taste buds, and my breath.

There should be a super hero that wears a 18L water container as a helmet.  I think that this helmet could take a beating without injury.

Grown Ups 2 was really, really, really funny.  Said no one ever.

You can look down on me if you like after I tell you this.  I lost a drinking contest to an eighteen year old girl.  All I have left is my glorious drinking past, and this pink bubble blowing stick.

We have all mocked barked at a dog before.  I am not sure if the dog knows that I am mocking them or they are just getting angrier?

There was a strange satisfied look on a gentlemens face when he was blowing leafs with his leaf blower.  It was similar to a hatred and respect for the leaves.

Drinking Buddies - 6.5/10

Dude from New Girl and Olivia Wilde were in this movie.  You must like dialogue in movies to enjoy this one.

Went to an absolutely gorgeous wedding yesterday.  The best part of the wedding other than the food of course was during their opening dance that fireworks went off, and they had a dude following them around with a smoke machine.

Blowing bubbles is something that I use to be very good at.  Now I just seem to be spitting into the stick and then end up with soapy water in my mouth somehow.

Why did we cheer so much when the Hulkster ripped his already ripped shirt off?

I was in the thick of a photographers photograph off.  There was battling for position.  Camera lenses were being used as battle weapons.  SD cards were being used as blades.  It was vicious, and it ended with a wedgie.

It's always interesting when you start a bromance with someone instantly when you meet them.  "Oh you are into My Morning Jacket, and you are going to see Wilco play with My Morning Jacket this summer.  What are you doing after work?"

It's very difficult to play it cool after running into a screen door.  Especially when you knock the screen door down.  Especially when you have the screen marks on your face. 

The last two weeks at baseball, keep in mind that I play slo-pitch and not real baseball.   I have slid into bases and injured my leg.  What the hell is wrong with me?

The two worst feelings in the morning are when you bite into a banana and realize it's A) not ripe B) too ripe.  There is just something so exhilarating about the perfect banana ripeness

One thing that will never change until you the you die is your "I have to go pee dance."

Never in the history of my life have I ever experienced anything quite like Quebec City.  Generally I am lucky to have one gourmet dinner in a six month period.  This was five nights in a row of gourmet dinners.  By the end I felt like a pompous wine touting yuppie.  "Oh this foie gras was not nearly as exquisite as the second night.  They must receive a slap with my gloved hand."

Old Quebec City has the exact same type of feel as Europe.  They have done a masterful job of giving people the sense that they are in France within Canada.  Probably the most beautiful city I have been to in Canada.

Aquarium - There is a rule in Quebec City.  You must have the largest kids stroller possible.  It needs to take up most or all of the hallway.

Chateau Frontenac - One beer = $22.00

Alex Rodriguez received a suspension for his part in the biogenesis nonsense.  Doesn't he have the same feel as the Kardashian family.  The why the f*** do we keep talking about him everyday, he hasn't done anything in 4 years type feel.

When people recommend bands to me.  Sometimes I wonder if they know anything about me or know anything about music.  "Oh yes, his screaming is really top notch there.  Doesn't make me want to rip my ears off with side of a sharpened encyclopedia at all."


Recently went to a board game night for charity.  Hope Spring Cancer Home was broken into and robbed of all their electronics.  Nintendo stepped up to bat and replaced all their Wii's, and the board game night was a huge success.  Even though my attempts of being Merlin in Avalon were mediocre at best.  It was still a fine evening.


Going to a wedding this coming weekend.  It's a Portuguese wedding, it's a free bar wedding, there will be many people that I know at this wedding, and Chuck Taylor's for the multiple dance offs that I will be challenged to. If you need to get a hold of me Sunday, please use the usual Heineken symbol in the sky.  My phone will be turned off on Sunday after this wedding.

NFL is starting within the next month.  Sara has given me tickets to the Thanksgiving game in Detroit against Green Bay.  I have tried multiple times to go to this game, but something always gets in the way.  This time I will not be foiled.  If I have to throw coffee grinds into the eyes of the people that try to prevent me of going I will do just that.

You are a sewing kit is an insult that has been directed against me recently.  It stopped me in my tracks.  Touche!

My French is extremely weak for having been taught it for so many years.  Mr. Marchitto would be disappointed with this, but thoroughly impressed with my wine drinking skills.

Is this true for anyone else?  Every time you try to play catch with your wife or girlfriend in any sport that it always ends in injury?


Always thought Darth Vader would be a cool costume to do at a convention.  One thing that I would change though is that my deep breathing would be similar to a porno just to throw people off.


You know what Candy Crush?  Just for making me have to send invites to unlock the next episode.  I am not going to play you for three hours.


If you want to have people come to your museums, and you really enjoy the company of people that also like Scifi conventions.  Have a costume area in the basement of your museum with props that people can play with.  "Oh I didn't freak the kids out too much.  They enjoyed the company of a 35 year old man dressed in old timey outfits that hadn't shaved in five days."