Tuesday, April 29, 2014

What's the worst series so far to watch in the NHL playoffs?  Flyers/Rangers!   There have been times where I have switched it to another series and haven't switched it back.  The Flyers have been outplayed for the most part.  It's absolutely torture to watch them in the offensive zone.  The collapsing box in front of the goaltender is effective.  Boring as hell, but effective.

You have told me your reasons why you like Star Wars instead of Star Trek.  Your reasons are shallow and lack structure.  Star Trek you win.

Grand Budapest Hotel - 9.3/10
Blue Jasmine - 8.1/10

It's rare to have a movie that is shot as beautifully as The Grand Budapest Hotel.  Every scene looks as though it's been shot through a microscope for detail.  In this world there are two types of people.  Ones that understand Wes Anderson and others that sadly do not.  It's like being in on a joke that is absolutely hilarious and trying to explain it to somebody that relates to Phoebe of Friends.

I have seen people crumple up a whole piece of paper and eat it on movies.  It seems to never really bother them at all.  They are just able to pound it down without any liquid. 

To all those people that are sober that call out people that are drunk or high.  Go fu** yourself.

Watching old wrestling I realize now that the leg drop shouldn't have been that devastating of a finishing move.

Message to Johnny Depp:

 Johnny please hire a new agent.  Your current agent is failing you miserably.  You still have talent inside that weird head of yours.  Find Matthew McConaughey's agent.  He will guide you back to the promise land where you belong.

Your once adoring fan,

Daryl Smith

What does your brain do when people talk to you about politics?  My brain does this.  do da di di dum diddy do.

Sue me, I like to wave at squirrels when they are looking at me in the window.

Top 3 miscalculated judgements I have made.

3 - There should be enough gas to get me to that next gas station.
2 - I will be fine tomorrow morning after having this shot of absinthe.  (Intense I know)
1 - 4 flame heat wings won't effect me at all.  I have grown to love super hot food that no human in their right mind should eat.

Ever hear a story about a person and have their personality pegged to a tee and know instantly that you would never want to meet them or associate with them in anyway whatsoever?

At some point in my life I would like a limousine to pull up beside me and have the back window go down and the person in the back seat to tell me to get in.  I would prefer it not to be the threatening to kill me type of trip.  The one where they are taking me to a secret party would be preferable.

There isn't enough people that challenge people to arm wrestles anymore.  There needs to be more of this.



Friday, April 25, 2014

There's a saying that you can boil a frog by just slightly increasing the temperature of the water until he dies.  I think the same logic can apply to how we view our food.  We are just now starting to realize the ramifications of eating the food that we do.  We have so many people sick with different illnesses that are increasing each and every day.  Do I blame it solely on food?  No, but you could make an argument.  People still need to make the right decisions, but I am not sure you could make it more difficult to do that if you tried.

It's not like it's never donned on me before.  It just seems as though that it's always been that way, and it's way too difficult to change it.  Difficult and expensive actually.  Walking into a whole foods store you will instantly know what I am talking about.  $46.00 for a roast?  Only the rich can eat healthy.  Beside an A&W parking lot, I noticed that they have a sign out that says "Raised without hormones and steroids."  Well thank goodness for that.  Wait a second.  What?  How is using steroids and hormones ever been a viable option for raising cattle.

I am the not so proud owner of a disease called Ulcerative Colitis.  I am not going to give you any details on what it is.  It's very similar to Crohns.  When Sara and I traveled to Asia it was really eye opening.  No obesity issues, and very rare circumstances of gastro issues.  We went to a doctor for a refill of one of my prescriptions, and he told us that he hardly ever had to deal with this issue.  They have much different eating habits then we own.  You will see sushi shops and noodle bars instead of Burger Kings and McDonald's everywhere.  They still have your Burger Kings there, but they are limited.

It boils down to money.  You can either eat extremely healthy and go broke in the process.  Or you can go to McDonald's and spend $1.39 for a cheeseburger.  It's a simple decision for most people.  How can you blame them.  We aren't able to see the real cost of what foods cost without containing preservatives. Now on the other hand if everybody stopped putting preservatives in everything then we wouldn't have to worry about it.  It's pretty simple.  Only put food into food.  We shouldn't have to pay a premium to eat a carrot that hasn't been sprayed by poison.  This discussion is for another day.

 Everything in moderation is about the only way that you can somewhat avoid the situation.  People want to be healthy.  They don't want to be overweight.  You have to have the will power of an ex-heroin addict to make the right decisions all of the time.   Maybe if you had three hours for your lunch and you could venture to the farmers market for a delightful lunch of all organic food.   The cost of your lunch is only five dollars, and then you can ride your unicorn over a rainbow back to work.  They should change every word on a bottle of stir-fry sauce that you can't pronounce to poison.  "Ah, honey, tomatoes, onions, poison, and water.  At least poison is near the end."

It's frustrating as a consumer.  I am not sure how I come off after reading this to myself.  Reading about my particular illness, and knowing that it stems from food, well sucks.  Knowing that it's extremely expensive to do the right thing also sucks.  I am sure there are certain days where the healthiest thing that I consume is a Guinness.  In closing, I would like to note that I am currently sipping on a coffee from McDonald's.  I just read a sign in the next door A&W and all of this came to mind. 

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Paul Pierce believes that he is big time.  He believes that you can't buy big game ability at Costco.  It's just in his DNA.  It's really difficult to be a 100% di**bag.  Pierce is the closest that this earth has.

In case you would like to know what song I believe I can run the fastest to.  It's Run to the Hills by Iron Maiden.

Yes, I do think that you are an idiot if you don't enjoy Game of Thrones.

It's so weird walking into a casino in the states and having a big whiff of cigarette smoke. How is this still allowed indoors anywhere?  Also, what was I thinking?  

We have found the perfect place to go on Easter Sunday.  It's the untapped market of wineries.  They are just so excited to have customers that they give you a tasting of every wine in the building.

I believe in the 80's that we knew that the mullet didn't look good.  It was a statement of I don't give a fu** about looking good.  I am just going to rock this AC/DC jean jacket, light blue jeans, and high top shoes in -8 degree weather.  I may look cold, and I am.  This is the '80s and being cold is also cool.  The '80s were a strange era.

For people to actually want to go to Chicago Cubs games they are going to need to have a promotional night every night.  Tonight, you will be served chili dogs by people dressed in dog costumes running on all fours.

Currently reading a book called Shovel Ready.  The author has decided not to describe anything.  He just writes in one sentence intervals.  It's fantastic.

Top 3 Bad Things About Glue

3 - As a child while making wreaths for Xmas.  The glue would burn me out of the gun.  Also my wreath would look the worst in the class.
2 - I once got my hands stuck together with crazy glue.
1 - Watching this one kid always eat the white glue.  I wanted to try it, but I was always told that it was bad for me.  He seemed to enjoy it so much.

They had a board game/burlesque night at Roxanne's (local gentlemen's club.)  I am not sure how I feel about this.  I guess it's creative. Playing Operation with a stripper I am sure is somebody's fetish.

Sometimes it's upsetting looking up recipes on the web.  Who has some of these ingredients?  Marjoram? 

I love when they put the brand name of the product as well.  You have to have Becel Margarine.  "What are you crazy?  You can't add PC margarine.  You've ruined everything."

Is there more ball players that do the assumptive walk to first on a border line 3 ball pitch now?

I can't think of a more attractive celebrity that I would never want to meet than Gwyneth Paltrow. 

One thing about running is that there is never a time that I am not hungry.  This running thing is becoming expensive on the food bill.

The National is what the Shins should have been.  They were a great band that had everything there.  They just couldn't put it together consistently.

Even the new generation of Habs fans seem to be arrogant.  They have that whole bunch of Stanley Cups under our belt type of arrogance.  Maybe the stupidest argument in the book.  1 in 6 chance to win the cup for the majority of them, and you had the exclusive right to most french players.  Ole' ole' ole' that.  Still enjoy their company over Leaf fans though.

Bought new running shoes yesterday at the AG sale (Acronyms, cause I'm cool like that.)  Inside the box they had a picture of a dude running properly, and how he was doing so.  It also told me that these shoes should feel like slippers while running.  They were right.  The brand is Altra.  They are good.








Friday, April 18, 2014

This is not my usual type of blog.  I just thought I would give you some of my perspectives on a few topics.  It's a little cheesy in areas, but sometimes cheese needs to be consumed.

People are making less money and going into huge amounts of debt to keep on living that American dream.  That American dream of going to school.  Getting that perfect job.  Finding a wonderful mate.  Buying that dream home.  Having a family, and living happily ever after.  The problem is once you get past step one, everything else is extremely difficult.  I grew up in a small town and there weren't many people that lived by a different script. I never really even thought about what I wanted.  It was all just going to work itself out.  There was only one way to live and be happy.

It has taken me years of attempting to take myself out of this thinking.  It's not that wanting these things is bad.  Not at all.  It's just not for everyone.  People have a very difficult time really figuring out what they want.  Every single thing that you hear growing up is gearing you towards living a certain way.  This is the way to find happiness.  Follow these guidelines.  Anytime that you go in a different direction people seem to question what you are doing.

When I tell people that I am not sure that I want children they question me.  "Oh you would be such a great Dad though."  When I tell people that I am not sure that I want to buy a house.  "Don't you think you are throwing your money away?"  When I tell them that my dream is to own a bed and breakfast in Central America and live there for half of the year.  Well, they really don't know how to respond to that.

The job market is extremely difficult and most businesses will only hire part time.  Commercials are still being spewed out to go into certain fields.  Go to school for this or that.  Most people don't realize that the fields that they are gaining education towards are being flooded.  Most of the people that I know that are unemployed have huge credentials that should allow them to have a pick of companies that they would like to work for.

Talking to the younger generation is especially tough.  There is such a disconnect with their parents.  This generation needs to think outside the box more than any other generation in history.  Unfortunately some parents can't see that.  They still have this idea.  School, career, marriage, house, babies, retire, and then maybe travel.  Most parents still envision traveling as a waste of money and time.  If you talk to anybody that has traveled.  None of them will tell you that it was a waste of time or money.

There are so many different ways to make yourself happy.  Trying new things, seeing unique places, talking to all different types of personalities.  Just try things that you wouldn't usually dabble in.  Find out what your niche to happiness is.  It doesn't really matter what it is.  Sometimes simplicity is a thing of beauty.  Just don't allow anybody tell you what's going to make you happy.   Experience things and decide for yourself how you would like to live. You only have one of these lives.  You need to make it count.

Monday, April 14, 2014


My absolutely no brainer prediction for the finals.  Boston Bruins in 6 games over the Chicago Blackhawks.  My "More Than a Feeling" (Tribute to the super group Boston) for the finals.  St. Louis Blues over the New York Rangers in 7 games.

Mistaken for Strangers (documentary about the lead singers brother of the National)  8.1/10
Philomena - 8.9/10

Philomena is absolutely fantastic.  Give it a chance.  I thought the same thing when it received so much accolade.  "Old person going on a road trip.  Going to find family member."  Well that's exactly what it is.  It's still awesome though.

Princess Cinema's are going to be receiving seats from the Chinese Theater in LA.  Apparently they are going to be seats where some of the most famous people have sat. 

Sara is still receiving prizes even while gone.  I have received an Oreo Cookie Stanley Cup.  It has a top where you dip the cookie into the milk.  Yes! That is cool.

I am currently in the midst of training for a half marathon.  There is no better feeling then the instant you step off of the treadmill.  Your legs have that jello feeling.  The same feeling that David Hasselhoff has every Friday night. 

Currently in love with the new album by the War on Drugs.  There are few albums that can give me a reason to say Fu** Yeah! while driving on the expressway towards work.

My weekly fire John Gibbons rant.  When your team is in extra innings and there is a guy on third with one out.  What would most managers do?  Probably put the next guy on to try to manufacture a double play or bring in a specialty pitcher to get a strike out.  What does John Gibbons do?  Well he  keeps Todd Redmond in there and brings the infield in.  The lowest percentage play in the books. Brett Cecil and Sergio Santos were both available.  

Recently started watching Cosmos.  What a mind bend that is.  I believe we have found another man to do nature documentaries.  I need to start practicing my documentary voice.

The National recently played at Massey Hall.  They were excellent.  One thing that I thought was cool was that on the final song of the night that the lead singer pointed the mic to the crowd and had the crowd sing the whole song with the band in a semi-circle playing acoustics at the front of the stage.

Olsen Twins singing about pizza slowed down almost gave me an aneurysm.



You would like to go out for a nice dinner in Winnipeg on Sunday night  The problem is that everything in the city is closed.  You have a fist full of cash and no where to go.  What do you have to settle for?  Yeah that's right, Ms. Vanelli's.  The finest of Italian cuisine.  "Penne pasta with pomodoro sauce.  Smother it with that Kraft Parmesan cheese.  That's the ticket. Oh yeah, I will take a refill on my Coke Zero."

Looked into Raptors playoff tickets.  Just can't justify selling my car to afford it.

Fiddleheads you do a wonderful job of heeling my dehydrated Sunday system.  Your fruit smoothies are scrumptious.  My body says thank you.

The only difference between the people on the Subway and the people at the Casino is the Casino sounds in the background.  The looks of the people are exactly the same.  The look of despair and boredom are the same.

When somebody calls themselves boring they must be really really boring.

Am I the only person that has dreamed about writing material for stand up?  Not actually performing the stand up, but writing it.  I have never been so disappointed in myself in a dream.

Women you are not allowed to get mad at your significant other if they are bad in a dream.  Daryl gets himself into enough trouble without having to worry about what Dream Daryl does. 

Don't give people that nudge on the elbow if they don't laugh after you believe you said something funny.  They heard you.  It obviously wasn't even funny enough to garner a fake laugh.





Monday, April 7, 2014

Sara has left for her Appalachia Trail journey.  It was tough to see her off for a long five month period.  I will probably be calling on some of you to prevent me from sitting in my boxers, watching afternoon baseball, and eating a block of cheese.  Actually, I'm good.

 Here's her trail journal for those that would like to keep up to date with her adventures.

http://www.trailjournals.com/entry.cfm?id=448101

For every Bohemian Rhapsody that Queen sang there was a Body Language.  That song is awful.

Once a decade is a great rate to make the playoffs.  This Leafs debacle is one of the highlights of the year for me.  Listening to Leaf fans call into sports radio shows after a Leafs loss is another one of my highlights.

I was at the Jays game yesterday with the family.  There was a big crowd on hand.  The Rogers centre still looks like garbage, but they have a bunch of different food and booze options now.  Remember when it was only McDonald's that was in there.  That was very strange.


While purging the cupboards while spring cleaning.  I realized that I must sleep drive to Dave's Tea to purchase items.  Why the hell do I own so much tea?

Juno's were last weekend.  Bieber was booed.  BTO is better than I thought they were.  Serena Ryder is mediocre at best, and Tegan and Sara are fantastic ambassadors for Canadian artists.

For anybody that loves Winnipeg I apologize, but it's a sh**hole.

Do you smell what's in the air?  That's the smell of finely cut grass by the hungover staff of the Listowel Golf and Country Club.

Stopped at the Kacaba winery on the way back to the city after dropping Sara off.  When you walk into a winery as a single man.  They assume that you have money, and that you are sophisticated.  When they figure out that you are neither of those things they recommend the house wine.

Every single championship that LeBron wins is similar to the steroid records in baseball to me.  Anytime that you go build a super team.  All accomplishments have a taint to them.  Eventually the Cavs would have won it and the taste would have been so much sweeter.

The baby blue Clipper uniforms look like a mental asylum basketball team playing in their pajama's.

I always thought that having a fantastic razor was just lip service by the companies.  When is the last time that you used a cheap razor?  I think I just made my face look like Bryan Adam's with one shave.

Kitchener festival coming up.  They are playing on an old landfill.  Insert Kim Mitchell music reference here.

Going to see the National at Massey Hall this week.  That Dark Colombian Coffee voice is making 3 of my 8 chest hairs tremble with excitement.

NCAA basketball isn't really my thing, but it was good to see so many Canadian players playing, and having a huge impact on their teams.

Does it sound crazy to actually want the Flyers to play the Penguins in the first round of the playoffs?   The Rangers scare the crap out of me.

Yes I am a nerd.  Yes I put the Game of Thrones theme song on my iPod.

One thing when I realized grocery shopping for the first time without Sara.  Things go a lot quicker when I don't have to sell somebody on the stuff that I am buying



Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Ryan Braun came out to a standing ovation?    So you take steroids that makes your team fall out of a playoff race, and then receive a standing ovation the first game of the season.  I think that maybe the 3 putt golf clap makes more sense.

Jose Reyes has problems with his groin.  Toronto's spark plug.  The guy they need to stay healthy to compete this year.  What do the Jays management decide?  Let's play him on the cement ground in Montreal for an exhibition game.  He is going to the DL after opening day.

Prediction for the AL East.

Tampa Bay Rays
Boston Red Sox - Wild Card
Baltimore Orioles
New York Yankees
Toronto Blue Jays


Miguel Cabrera received a 10 year/292 million dollar deal.  This deal will haunt the Tigers past year 3.  Cabrera is an absolute beast today.  You did see a little bit of a slow down near the end of the year and the playoffs.  He has Albert Pujols written all over him for how quick his decline will be. 

My predictions for MLB this year.

AL MVP - Mike Trout
AL Cy Young - David Price
NL MVP - Paul Goldschmidt
NL Cy Young - Jose Fernandezz

It's frustrating knowing that a team that you  love to watch has the wrong manager in place there.  This is how I feel with John Gibbons managing the Jays.  They look disorganized and have disaster written all over them.  He has already contradicted Reyes on the extent of his injury.  His "aw shucks" attitude drives me absolutely crazy.  If you look at what a great manager can do with the right situation you know that this is the wrong man for the job.

Top 3 Managers in AL

3 - Joe Maddon
2 - Terry Francona
1 - Bob Melvin

I am happy that AA didn't overpay for Santana or Jimenez though.  Both of those pitchers in the AL East would be an absolute horror to watch. 

Stats for Ubaldo Jimenez pitching for the Baltimore Orioles. 

187 IP
4.97 ERA
10-13 Record
87 BOB
178 K's

 One of the most beautiful things about MLB this year is not knowing who is going to be in the playoffs.  Years past there was always the guarantee of the Yanks, Red Sox, Cards, Rangers, and Giants pretty much getting there year in and year out.  Now none of those teams are a guarantee.  I actually think the Cards are the closest to the guarantee you have out of the above teams and not the Red Sox.

If you were AA would you go hard after David Price after this year?  He has been lights out at Rogers Centre year in and year out.  You would have that ace you have been after for years.  The staff looks a lot different this way.  Price, Dickey, Buerhle, Morrow, Hutchison

Derek Jeter is probably one of the classiest ball players that has played the game of ball.  To play in that market for that many years and not succumb to any of the nonsense that is all around is impressive.  The game will miss him.  In saying all of this.  Hopefully these farewell tours will stop after this.  Takes away from the game and team itself.  Rivera and Jeter are special cases, but what happened to just having your retiring press conference?

Hoseheads overreaction, but could possibly be true to day one of MLB. 

The Miami Marlins will have a better record than the Toronto Blue Jays at the end of the year.