There are people that I know in this world that I think would be very good at naming porno renditions of already famous blockbuster movies. 

I have a much better tan this summer than usual.  Not really great for you I know, but it's better than looking like a frazzled magician coming off of a bender.

My You Tube channel has not lifted off of the ground yet.  Really hard to method act when you work as a salesman.  People just don't want to buy things from you when you are portraying an ex con with an addiction to love potions.

Do you think that the Hives song click, click, click Boom is actually about a hard drive in a computer?  Nerds get this joke.  Come on!

Had a dream recently that Nathan Fillion and I were having a drink together at a bar.  We had an awkward silence, he then looked at his watch and told me that he had to go.  I tried to find something to say to keep him there, but it was too late.  How do you let the coolest man in the scifi realm walk out of your life without just saying "Captain" with a nod.

Watched this clip on Fallon recently pretty good.  Matt Harvey interviewing people about Matt Harvey.

Montana's has so many good beers on tap.  Decent prices on appetizers, and enough TV's to keep me happy.  So why have I only been there once in the past year?  If you ever want me to avoid your establishment play country music.  When I put my finger next to my ear I noticed there was a tear that had formed on the outside of my ear 

Powerade, you are the terrible sister of the gorgeous Gatorade.

I was hit with a snowball this past Sunday.  My brain had a hard time registering how this had happened.  Two things here.  I haven't been hit by a snowball since 1949, and it was 40 degrees out.

Cows don't feel ice cubes when you hit them in the head with it.

Aaron Hernandez - There is a rumor that they enjoy tight ends in jail. 

I  have been losing weight recently.  It has gotten to the point of when I put my pants on without a belt that they just fall to the ground.  I feel like a character from Looney Tunes. 

Top 3 injuries that I had to shrug off to keep my manliness

3 - Too hard of a high five
2 - Kicking a soccer ball too hard (the goaltender caught it with such ease that made it worse)
1 - Coconut off of the shin from throwing it off of a step in Costa Rica.

A great job for me would be just to walk around the grocery store and grab things off of the top shelf for shorter people.  I always feel like their hero when I do it.

Trying to bring down my TV watching to a minimum.  Always feel like music and writing is a better way to keep my brain flowing. 

Always wanted to learn how to play bass just to develop a groovy 70's bass line that Shaft would be willing to walk out to.

When people pretend like they are riding a horse but aren't riding a horse.  I enjoy that.