Happy New Year to all the people that read this blog. If you generally don't read this blog then you should feel ashamed. Now do 3 shots of tequila. I do realize that it's 9:49AM. It's New Years!
If you need to tell somebody that you were just joking after you say something. One of two following things have happened. You crossed the line and the person is kind of upset. Or what you said isn't funny. Either way you're a dick.
Keep an eye out on your Facebook for a Rum Runners pub event. I am going to put something together. I am not sure what it's going to be yet. For those that have any ideas I would love to hear them as well.
It was sad to see some of the seasonal associates go at FS this week. It's nice to see people that love their job and want to do anything to stick around. There is so much negativity for most jobs that it's wicked to see this happen every once in a while.
The Hobbit - 8.1/10
Breaking Bad as a whole - 9.9/10
Also witnessed the Breaking Bad series finale. Here is how I compare the Breaking Bad series finale to the Dexter series finale. Are you watching the Spengler Cup or the World Juniors?
Sara sometimes can't watch sports with me. There was a lot of the following while watching the Green Bay/Chicago game. Throwing pillows, getting up/sitting down, drinking, yelling, high pitched voices, swearing, drinking again, and then celebrating....
Boxing Day has come and gone. Every Boxing Day that a person works in retail takes three years off of their life. It's a fact. Since I was going to live till 140 we are good.
Top 3 actresses that were the most downloaded pictures during the days of dial up? Receiving one bar of picture every few seconds was absolute torture for all teenage boys.
3 - Courtney Cox
2 - Cameron Diaz
1 - Jennifer Aniston
Dion Phaneuf for 7 years at 49 million. Wonder if his agent had to do the math for him? The way I look at his contract. Would you consider someone that is making 7 million a year to be a consideration for Team Canada? Is Dion Phaneuf a consideration for Team Canada?
When I was a young lad I really disliked receiving gift cards of any sort at Christmas time. Now there is nothing better. Also socks and underwear use to be a death sentence. Now, you will never see a man eyes light up more than getting socks. This might be an overstatement, but it's still a great gift.
We had to sneak in a couple of pops into the theater recently. Whenever I am going to have a drink of something that I have had to sneak into a place the taste of Mountain Dew is not the taste that I want. I feel like a pimply faced boy. I guess I was at the Hobbit so it's not that far fetched.
I am one of ten jury members that will be allowed to kick five people off of television for good. They will also receive a wedgie and a swirly as well. Miley Cyrus why don't you lick a pole outside in Northern Saskatchewan for your New Years resolution? Also put your tongue back in your mouth. Unless you have black and white make up on you are not allowed to do this.
Everybody be safe tonight. I hope you accomplished everything that you thought you would this past year. If not, well champagne is still being sold and it's a new year starting tomorrow.
Happy New Year from Hosehead.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Friday, December 27, 2013
Hope everybody had a great Christmas. Now let's get down to the brass tax. Always wanted to say that and I don't even know if that's the correct saying.
Rum Runners pub will be closing down in March. The Walper Terrace hotel is doing renovations and upped Rum Runners rent. This place has been a staple of downtown Kitchener for years and will be sorely missed. I have heard that they are going to try to open up somewhere else in the downtown area. Hopefully this is true. I will shed a Guinness tear when this place closes.
Boxing Day was yesterday at work. As per usual it was absolute chaos. Have you ever had a dream that you were standing at a desk while doing something and there were multiple people staring at you with either hatred or puppy dog eyes? This was every minute of yesterday. My brain is still spinning. While walking to the lunch room you had to put your head down. If you made eye contact with the beast, it attacked.
I have talked about Kurt Vile I am sure over the years in my blog. Sometimes I go back and revisit an album to see how I feel about it on a different day.
Wakin' in a Pretty Daze - 8.6/10
I attempted to attach the Letterman version of this song. They of course cut it down to 4 min from the original 9 min. Sorry Letterman you get no love from me for this. I am sure this will affect you ratings from here on out.
Craig Berube has the Flyers playing some great hockey. There are quite a few people that say coaches are overrated. I don't believe that for a second. Have you seen the Phoenix Coyotes roster?
Currently I am possessing $225.00 in Ticketmaster gift cards. For most people that would equal a few concerts. For the bands that I see that's an infinite amount. Junip was the same price as going to see Thor in 3D.
I don't know why anyone would hang out with Wolverine from the old X-Men animated series. He's such a dick.
Witnessed the ever uncomfortable throwing something too hard at somebody by accident, and then realizing that you did this, and then the uncomfortable glance after yesterday.
Apparently I need to dress as an Indian gangster for a Bollywood party this coming weekend. Sara gave me the "you know the Indian style gangster style." Like I knew perfectly well what this was?
They are coming out with a Grumpy Cat movie.
What?
You heard me, they are coming out with a Grumpy Cat movie.
Why?
Who the hell would see this?
You know who you are. Knitting and baking up a storm while multiple cats stare at you while you do this. It ends with you throwing cats at people when they come to your house. Be careful or else this could be you.
It's interesting seeing people's trying hard faces. It's always a little different with each person. If you would like to witness it make them open up a jar of pickles. Or have sex with them.
Must find significant other. Must find significant other. Must find significant other. Must find significant other. This is the chant of someone that completely turns off the opposite sex.
I own so many boxers that are ripped in weird areas. Have you ever known somebody that worked so hard at everything that they ripped their boxers. It might be that I just buy cheap boxers, but as you know I work hard at everything. I am a Nike marketing commercial.
One of the best song lyrics of all time. "No one wants to hear about your dream unless they are in it." This might be the most truthful lyric of all time.
Q-Tip and Busta Rhymes have a new album out. Haven't downloaded it yet, but heard it's fantastic. Yes, you are still reading my Blog and I did mean to say this. Really enjoy Q-Tip's champagne flow. Stole that from EW.
Jeff Dunham is a shitty comic and his puppets are also shitty. There I said it.
Rum Runners pub will be closing down in March. The Walper Terrace hotel is doing renovations and upped Rum Runners rent. This place has been a staple of downtown Kitchener for years and will be sorely missed. I have heard that they are going to try to open up somewhere else in the downtown area. Hopefully this is true. I will shed a Guinness tear when this place closes.
Boxing Day was yesterday at work. As per usual it was absolute chaos. Have you ever had a dream that you were standing at a desk while doing something and there were multiple people staring at you with either hatred or puppy dog eyes? This was every minute of yesterday. My brain is still spinning. While walking to the lunch room you had to put your head down. If you made eye contact with the beast, it attacked.
I have talked about Kurt Vile I am sure over the years in my blog. Sometimes I go back and revisit an album to see how I feel about it on a different day.
Wakin' in a Pretty Daze - 8.6/10
I attempted to attach the Letterman version of this song. They of course cut it down to 4 min from the original 9 min. Sorry Letterman you get no love from me for this. I am sure this will affect you ratings from here on out.
Craig Berube has the Flyers playing some great hockey. There are quite a few people that say coaches are overrated. I don't believe that for a second. Have you seen the Phoenix Coyotes roster?
Currently I am possessing $225.00 in Ticketmaster gift cards. For most people that would equal a few concerts. For the bands that I see that's an infinite amount. Junip was the same price as going to see Thor in 3D.
I don't know why anyone would hang out with Wolverine from the old X-Men animated series. He's such a dick.
Witnessed the ever uncomfortable throwing something too hard at somebody by accident, and then realizing that you did this, and then the uncomfortable glance after yesterday.
Apparently I need to dress as an Indian gangster for a Bollywood party this coming weekend. Sara gave me the "you know the Indian style gangster style." Like I knew perfectly well what this was?
They are coming out with a Grumpy Cat movie.
What?
You heard me, they are coming out with a Grumpy Cat movie.
Why?
Who the hell would see this?
You know who you are. Knitting and baking up a storm while multiple cats stare at you while you do this. It ends with you throwing cats at people when they come to your house. Be careful or else this could be you.
It's interesting seeing people's trying hard faces. It's always a little different with each person. If you would like to witness it make them open up a jar of pickles. Or have sex with them.
Must find significant other. Must find significant other. Must find significant other. Must find significant other. This is the chant of someone that completely turns off the opposite sex.
I own so many boxers that are ripped in weird areas. Have you ever known somebody that worked so hard at everything that they ripped their boxers. It might be that I just buy cheap boxers, but as you know I work hard at everything. I am a Nike marketing commercial.
One of the best song lyrics of all time. "No one wants to hear about your dream unless they are in it." This might be the most truthful lyric of all time.
Q-Tip and Busta Rhymes have a new album out. Haven't downloaded it yet, but heard it's fantastic. Yes, you are still reading my Blog and I did mean to say this. Really enjoy Q-Tip's champagne flow. Stole that from EW.
Jeff Dunham is a shitty comic and his puppets are also shitty. There I said it.
Friday, December 20, 2013
President's Choice has decided to make a new type of pop. The Decadent Chocolate Soda? Nothing says Christmas like Chocolate soda. This is such a terrible idea that I can't think of anything witty for the end of this segment.
Is anyone really shocked that the dude from Duck Dynasty made anti-gay remarks? Tell us what you think about people that aren't Caucasian as well.
Don Jon - 8.8/10
The Spectacular Now - 7.9/19
The Spectacular Now is a sometimes difficult to watch movie of a kid following the same path of his father. It's a tough watch in certain parts, but good movie overall. It's not a complete drama, it's got some humour to it as well. Shailene Woodley is very good in it.
Christmas time is approaching steadily. If you debate whether or not you say Merry Christmas. I could really care less. It doesn't really matter what your type of Christmas is. Whether it's based on religion, family, holidays, or all of the above. Just be good to people and yourself and it will be a successful day.
Sara wants to do a YouTube sketch of putting stuffed animals on my laptop when I am trying to make my lineup for fantasy sports. I joked that it would upset me knowing that it wouldn't. Then it really did upset me. Stuffed animals wore thrown on the floor in anger while I tried to look up Matt Duchene stats.
Top 3 of things that would have me running to the hills if they turned on my significant other.
3 - Domination (I can barely handle a pin prick from a needle)
2 - Animals used in any sort.
1 - Furries - I don't get it and I will never get it. And isn't it extremely hot inside that suit.
Apple Computers are not invincible in case you thought other wise. They are not like Hercules standing on a Mount Olympus with a ring on, and lightning striking all around him. They also aren't like Hulk Hogan shaking his head and walking around the ring with his head down, and then shaking his finger at you as well.
I feel that men with hot tubs try to lure people into their hot tubs. I don't get to use the word lure too often. I guess it's only here and kids getting lured into vans.
Read an article about how Randy Carlyle job was completely safe. I never really considered it to not be safe. Living in a Maple Leaf society can make a man insane. Oh by the way Joe Bowen. I am not sure if you have professed your love for the Leafs quite enough yet? Maybe you can teach Dion Phaneuf how to spell?
Betheny is a talk show about everything terrible. There was a girl watching it in the lunch room. It was about a website that men bribe women with gifts to go on dates with them. This is everything wrong in the world on one website. Women that just want to be trophy dates and receive stuff just for looking good. Or men that need to bribe women so that they can have a hot woman by their side to either look good or have some confusing idea that this might actually work. Sorry that I have wasted your time with this. Might as well finish it with these thoughts. Honey Boo Boo, Real Housewives, Kardassians, and Miley Cyrus.
There are some people that I know that have certain stances that look comfortable. I try to emulate these stances and am not able to pull it off as well. There should be a school for this.
Nothing better than seeing a man behind a sewing machine with pins in his mouth and pumping the peddle like a mad man.
If U2 came to Kitchener I don't think I would go. They are the absolutely most overrated band in the history of the world. I would see Weird Al before U2.
When I go out with certain friends I turn into the Funny One. I prefer the hot one that's got it all going on, but sometimes I have to play second fiddle.
Almost finished Breaking Bad. Bryan Cranston you are my everything.
Is anyone really shocked that the dude from Duck Dynasty made anti-gay remarks? Tell us what you think about people that aren't Caucasian as well.
Don Jon - 8.8/10
The Spectacular Now - 7.9/19
The Spectacular Now is a sometimes difficult to watch movie of a kid following the same path of his father. It's a tough watch in certain parts, but good movie overall. It's not a complete drama, it's got some humour to it as well. Shailene Woodley is very good in it.
Christmas time is approaching steadily. If you debate whether or not you say Merry Christmas. I could really care less. It doesn't really matter what your type of Christmas is. Whether it's based on religion, family, holidays, or all of the above. Just be good to people and yourself and it will be a successful day.
Sara wants to do a YouTube sketch of putting stuffed animals on my laptop when I am trying to make my lineup for fantasy sports. I joked that it would upset me knowing that it wouldn't. Then it really did upset me. Stuffed animals wore thrown on the floor in anger while I tried to look up Matt Duchene stats.
Top 3 of things that would have me running to the hills if they turned on my significant other.
3 - Domination (I can barely handle a pin prick from a needle)
2 - Animals used in any sort.
1 - Furries - I don't get it and I will never get it. And isn't it extremely hot inside that suit.
Apple Computers are not invincible in case you thought other wise. They are not like Hercules standing on a Mount Olympus with a ring on, and lightning striking all around him. They also aren't like Hulk Hogan shaking his head and walking around the ring with his head down, and then shaking his finger at you as well.
I feel that men with hot tubs try to lure people into their hot tubs. I don't get to use the word lure too often. I guess it's only here and kids getting lured into vans.
Read an article about how Randy Carlyle job was completely safe. I never really considered it to not be safe. Living in a Maple Leaf society can make a man insane. Oh by the way Joe Bowen. I am not sure if you have professed your love for the Leafs quite enough yet? Maybe you can teach Dion Phaneuf how to spell?
Betheny is a talk show about everything terrible. There was a girl watching it in the lunch room. It was about a website that men bribe women with gifts to go on dates with them. This is everything wrong in the world on one website. Women that just want to be trophy dates and receive stuff just for looking good. Or men that need to bribe women so that they can have a hot woman by their side to either look good or have some confusing idea that this might actually work. Sorry that I have wasted your time with this. Might as well finish it with these thoughts. Honey Boo Boo, Real Housewives, Kardassians, and Miley Cyrus.
There are some people that I know that have certain stances that look comfortable. I try to emulate these stances and am not able to pull it off as well. There should be a school for this.
Nothing better than seeing a man behind a sewing machine with pins in his mouth and pumping the peddle like a mad man.
If U2 came to Kitchener I don't think I would go. They are the absolutely most overrated band in the history of the world. I would see Weird Al before U2.
When I go out with certain friends I turn into the Funny One. I prefer the hot one that's got it all going on, but sometimes I have to play second fiddle.
Almost finished Breaking Bad. Bryan Cranston you are my everything.
Monday, December 16, 2013
How do you blow a 14 point lead with 8 minutes left in the 4th quarter? Hire Jason Garrett as your coach and you will find out. Murray was getting about 8 yards a pop, and you throw the ball constantly. Even the Dez Bryant TD could have easily been an INT. Terrible coaching, but I will take the win. Go Pack Go!
Also I should mention that I am a moron and if you read my blog a few weeks ago I said that Matt Flynn had a noodle for an arm. Well he's led them to two victories in the past two weeks. I will eat cheese for the next two weeks as punishment.
American Hustle, Anchoman 2, Hunger Games - Catching Fire, and the Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Apparently pop corn, skittles, and nachos are my meals for the next couple of weeks.
There is a lot of snow, the roads are bad, late for work, not feeling so good. You may cut and paste these as you like for your status updates.
Oh just to let you guys know. Elvis Stojko, Kurt Browning, and some other figure skater will be skating to Holly Cole music on CBC tonight. I would break up with someone if they made me watch this.
Waking up sore is stupid. I was laying down all night and that is all. I don't care how stupid I slept there is no way I should wake up sore.
Pacific Rim - 8.8/10
Saving Mr. Banks - 8.0/10
Pacific Rim is terrific. Especially if you miss the Power Rangers.
It's funny listening to the older generation speak about buying stuff on the internet. It's like they assume there is a guy that is in a car just outside of their house laughing hysterically when they punch in their credit card number. "Oh you shouldn't have bought that Danielle Steele book on Amazon. I have all of your information now. Muuuuuaaaahaaaaahaaaaaa!"
Our mail person is ridiculous. They dropped two packages on another tenant's lawn. Not in their mailbox. on their lawn. Not one package. Two packages.
You know I watch too much Dr. Who when I tried multiple times to spell tenant/Tennant. I was starting to get mad at the computer. "That is how you spell it you dumb PC. Maybe I should get a MAC, they know how to spell. And never get viruses."
Look for Sara and my picture in the Record. We had to go down to Fiddleheads to have our picture taken with the dude from the contest for the Cancun trip. They flew him in from BC. Let me repeat this. They flew a man in from BC to have a picture taken This is the kind of job that I need. We felt like Rockstars and Sara received a plaque for her win.
Team Canada roster. Each blog I will do a different position. Today it's C. Sidney Crosby, Jonathan Toews, Ryan Getzlaf, Patrice Bergeron, and John Tavares. On the bubble sadly, Claude Giroux.
After work this past Saturday I realized that I have a phobia of retail when I am not working. We were at Giant Tiger and while I was walking through the store I felt as though people wanted to ask me questions about the products even though I didn't work there. "I don't know when these banana's were brought in. Doritos are good. We don't sell Sony here only Sorny."
If you are a single person on New Years please go out with single people. There is nothing worse than being that person sitting there on his/her own while all the couple's are kissing at midnight. Or embrace it. Grab a bottle of Olde English and a cheap stinky cigar. Stand in the middle of the floor and light it up.
White people that don't play basketball wearing a jersey of their favourite player look awkward. Don't do it. Unless you are a want to be thug. Then you probably don't read blogs or anything for that matter. Never mind this is going nowhere.
Also I should mention that I am a moron and if you read my blog a few weeks ago I said that Matt Flynn had a noodle for an arm. Well he's led them to two victories in the past two weeks. I will eat cheese for the next two weeks as punishment.
American Hustle, Anchoman 2, Hunger Games - Catching Fire, and the Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Apparently pop corn, skittles, and nachos are my meals for the next couple of weeks.
There is a lot of snow, the roads are bad, late for work, not feeling so good. You may cut and paste these as you like for your status updates.
Oh just to let you guys know. Elvis Stojko, Kurt Browning, and some other figure skater will be skating to Holly Cole music on CBC tonight. I would break up with someone if they made me watch this.
Waking up sore is stupid. I was laying down all night and that is all. I don't care how stupid I slept there is no way I should wake up sore.
Pacific Rim - 8.8/10
Saving Mr. Banks - 8.0/10
Pacific Rim is terrific. Especially if you miss the Power Rangers.
It's funny listening to the older generation speak about buying stuff on the internet. It's like they assume there is a guy that is in a car just outside of their house laughing hysterically when they punch in their credit card number. "Oh you shouldn't have bought that Danielle Steele book on Amazon. I have all of your information now. Muuuuuaaaahaaaaahaaaaaa!"
Our mail person is ridiculous. They dropped two packages on another tenant's lawn. Not in their mailbox. on their lawn. Not one package. Two packages.
You know I watch too much Dr. Who when I tried multiple times to spell tenant/Tennant. I was starting to get mad at the computer. "That is how you spell it you dumb PC. Maybe I should get a MAC, they know how to spell. And never get viruses."
Look for Sara and my picture in the Record. We had to go down to Fiddleheads to have our picture taken with the dude from the contest for the Cancun trip. They flew him in from BC. Let me repeat this. They flew a man in from BC to have a picture taken This is the kind of job that I need. We felt like Rockstars and Sara received a plaque for her win.
Team Canada roster. Each blog I will do a different position. Today it's C. Sidney Crosby, Jonathan Toews, Ryan Getzlaf, Patrice Bergeron, and John Tavares. On the bubble sadly, Claude Giroux.
After work this past Saturday I realized that I have a phobia of retail when I am not working. We were at Giant Tiger and while I was walking through the store I felt as though people wanted to ask me questions about the products even though I didn't work there. "I don't know when these banana's were brought in. Doritos are good. We don't sell Sony here only Sorny."
If you are a single person on New Years please go out with single people. There is nothing worse than being that person sitting there on his/her own while all the couple's are kissing at midnight. Or embrace it. Grab a bottle of Olde English and a cheap stinky cigar. Stand in the middle of the floor and light it up.
White people that don't play basketball wearing a jersey of their favourite player look awkward. Don't do it. Unless you are a want to be thug. Then you probably don't read blogs or anything for that matter. Never mind this is going nowhere.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Stop posting cheesy family pictures. If you can tell me one day when your family was playing in the snow. Everyone laughing, chucking snowballs, peeking behind trees, wearing matching outfits. These are not things that happen to even the most Flanders of families. I would like to see realistic family photos. Well maybe everybody looking at their smart phone, video game system, or laptop isn't that exciting. At least it's realistic.
I am not sure why we even build robots. According to every movie and TV show they are going to become aware and begin to enslave us or kill us all. I don't think having a robot clean up my house is worth the world's destruction.
Insidious 2 - 6.2/10
Really need a streak of good movie watching. I have been on a tapioca pudding streak of movie watching. Mediocre even in an old folks home tense.
Really wanted to see Jerry Seinfeld in Kitchener. Not $117.00 want to though.
Crazy weekend of football in the snow. It was similar to watching your family play in the snow on Boxing Day. Dad drops the ball in the snow. Picks it up, and attempts to throw it to your brother. The other brother hammers dad to the ground because he can't stop due to the icy conditions. Dad is hurt on the ground. Everybody is upset with the middle brother. "He's a 54 year old man. Jesus!" Actually I don't know how that relates, but that's what I thought of.
There are some email's that I receive that I get so angry at. "I put you in the spam folder. How are you still getting through? I don't remember signing up for a woman's clothing daily email."
Picked up Sara from the airport. She was in Trinidad for the weekend if you didn't know already. I received hot sauce and a giant Trinidad coffee mug. There was also an uncalled for asking of "so what did you do this weekend?" Knowing that I was working.
I am pretty sure that I know an alien. He has just come to earth with the knowledge of nothing. He finds something that you might be interested in and studies it till he knows just enough to have a small conversation about it. If you ask a question that he might not have studied up on he is screwed.
You guys all know the routine in December. Be nice to people in retail. If we don't have the Ipad, PS4 or Xbox One in stock don't yell at us. We don't make these products in the back. We don't do the ordering. And we are just as stressed out as you guys are. If your child's Xmas is ruined because they didn't get one of these things then you're doing Xmas wrong.
Can someone please bring me a BBQ. Build it outside, put a steak on it, and then ring the doorbell. That would be a wonderful Xmas miracle.
Top 3 Scariest Horror Movies of all time.
3 - Paranormal Activity
2 - The Ring
1 - The Exorcist
For those that can't handle horror movies and still have nightmares. Grow up! Watch the movies with a stuffed animal and a pillow in front of your face like a real man.
The first time that I went into the Vintages section in the LCBO it was very intimidating. I felt like a fraud. No idea really what I was looking at. Now I have an idea what I am looking at. I just can't afford any of them.
Even as a joke it's never funny to put a plastic bag over somebody's head.
If you can't find information about something that you are doing with video editing on the internet. You should come into FS and ask one of the associates in the video game department. They have as much or more knowledge then all of the internet about your obscure video editing question.
I am not sure why we even build robots. According to every movie and TV show they are going to become aware and begin to enslave us or kill us all. I don't think having a robot clean up my house is worth the world's destruction.
Insidious 2 - 6.2/10
Really need a streak of good movie watching. I have been on a tapioca pudding streak of movie watching. Mediocre even in an old folks home tense.
Really wanted to see Jerry Seinfeld in Kitchener. Not $117.00 want to though.
Crazy weekend of football in the snow. It was similar to watching your family play in the snow on Boxing Day. Dad drops the ball in the snow. Picks it up, and attempts to throw it to your brother. The other brother hammers dad to the ground because he can't stop due to the icy conditions. Dad is hurt on the ground. Everybody is upset with the middle brother. "He's a 54 year old man. Jesus!" Actually I don't know how that relates, but that's what I thought of.
There are some email's that I receive that I get so angry at. "I put you in the spam folder. How are you still getting through? I don't remember signing up for a woman's clothing daily email."
Picked up Sara from the airport. She was in Trinidad for the weekend if you didn't know already. I received hot sauce and a giant Trinidad coffee mug. There was also an uncalled for asking of "so what did you do this weekend?" Knowing that I was working.
I am pretty sure that I know an alien. He has just come to earth with the knowledge of nothing. He finds something that you might be interested in and studies it till he knows just enough to have a small conversation about it. If you ask a question that he might not have studied up on he is screwed.
You guys all know the routine in December. Be nice to people in retail. If we don't have the Ipad, PS4 or Xbox One in stock don't yell at us. We don't make these products in the back. We don't do the ordering. And we are just as stressed out as you guys are. If your child's Xmas is ruined because they didn't get one of these things then you're doing Xmas wrong.
Can someone please bring me a BBQ. Build it outside, put a steak on it, and then ring the doorbell. That would be a wonderful Xmas miracle.
Top 3 Scariest Horror Movies of all time.
3 - Paranormal Activity
2 - The Ring
1 - The Exorcist
For those that can't handle horror movies and still have nightmares. Grow up! Watch the movies with a stuffed animal and a pillow in front of your face like a real man.
The first time that I went into the Vintages section in the LCBO it was very intimidating. I felt like a fraud. No idea really what I was looking at. Now I have an idea what I am looking at. I just can't afford any of them.
Even as a joke it's never funny to put a plastic bag over somebody's head.
If you can't find information about something that you are doing with video editing on the internet. You should come into FS and ask one of the associates in the video game department. They have as much or more knowledge then all of the internet about your obscure video editing question.
Friday, December 6, 2013
Does there need to be anymore cooking reality shows? We have just hooked up cable at work again and every minute of everyday it's a restaurant or bar owner being yelled at for not caring about his/her customers or his/her staff. Why do we enjoy watching people get yelled at or people arguing? What is wrong with us? "Would you serve this to your family? Have you stopped caring? You can't tell me what to do. This is my place" Did I cover everything here? Now you don't need to watch people argue any longer
Our Xmas Party was this past weekend. Ron Josol was absolutely on the money. It helped that there was a guy there that was having the best night of his life there to rip on. He really, really, really loved everybody this particular evening.
The Wolverine - 6.0/10 - I already forgot what happened
Ass Backwards - 2.9/10 - I can't believe I watched this thing.
Why do they even have the warnings at the end of infomercials on XM? I don't think that I caught one word that was said. I didn't know people could even talk that fast without talking about micro machines.
Another thing that I caught was that they were trying to sell you on having a mailing system in New York. One of their selling tools was that you would have an impressive mailing address. Sign me up. 310 Humphrey Bogart Lane, Kitchener ON. "This guy knows what he's doing. We should send him some money."
Listening to New York people whine about how Robinson Cano went to the place that offered him the most amount of money is pleasing. "He obviously doesn't care about the pin stripe honor." Yeah CC Sabathia, Jacoby Ellsbury, and Mark Teixeira really care about the honor there as well. The Yankees throw money at every single high priced free agent there is on the market. Some come and some don't. Don't whine when one of your own guys goes somewhere else.
Was in Detroit this past weekend for the Thanksgiving game. The time we spent there was enjoyable. The beer and food were great. We also had a picture with Santa. I would rather not discuss the game. Please don't make me think back to that game.
Sara goes to Trinidad for the weekend. This was another one of her online victories. Apparently others have done this contest and have gone skydiving or drove a Lamborghini. Sara goes to Trinidad. Now if she drove a Lamborghini out of a plane in Trinidad that would be the ultimate one upper.
Found out that a dude didn't read the fine print in an ebay ad and received a picture of an XBOX One.
I have a phobia of going into a room, having multiple people sitting in a room talking quietly without any music playing. How can you not have background music to everything? Any time there is silence it's uncomfortable. Put music on and all that goes away.
Was asked to DJ the Paddyfest Gala Dinner. I didn't realize how prestigious this event was until my Mother raised her eyebrow and said they asked you? Wow! Yes Mom, they asked me.
As a grown man you must know when you have snot running down your nose. Come on, clean yourself up. Even while looking at gaming mousepads. You heard me right. Gaming mouse pads.
So you changed your name to Billy Ocean. You could pick any name in the world and you chose Billy Ocean?
Watched this recently. It's a long one, but it's gorgeous. The drummer in the Adventure Guide shirt is my favorite.
Started watching the Wire recently. Well I am screwed this winter. Red Wine, slow cooker meals, and the Wire. I am going to be a fat fu**.
Really enjoy when people get really angry and don't know how to fight. They for some reason run at the person with their head down like a battering ram. You can't see where you are going and you are off balance. This is a terrible technique.
Top 3 old school wrestling moves
3 - Back Rake (Everybody that didn't know how to wrestle properly)
2 - Headbutt (Junk Yard Dog)
1 - Bear Hug (Andre the Giant)
I would like to give a shout out to those that make it enjoyable to read Facebook updates. The ones that write things that are interesting, funny, opinionated, and entertaining. Ask yourself this when you are done writing your status update. Would you want to read that? If you feel your eyes glossing over after you wrote that Rob Ford recycled joke or that Let's go Leafs status update. Just stop what you are doing. Go to the corner store. Chug down a 1litre jug of Chocolate Milk, and then think about what you have just done.
Our Xmas Party was this past weekend. Ron Josol was absolutely on the money. It helped that there was a guy there that was having the best night of his life there to rip on. He really, really, really loved everybody this particular evening.
The Wolverine - 6.0/10 - I already forgot what happened
Ass Backwards - 2.9/10 - I can't believe I watched this thing.
Why do they even have the warnings at the end of infomercials on XM? I don't think that I caught one word that was said. I didn't know people could even talk that fast without talking about micro machines.
Another thing that I caught was that they were trying to sell you on having a mailing system in New York. One of their selling tools was that you would have an impressive mailing address. Sign me up. 310 Humphrey Bogart Lane, Kitchener ON. "This guy knows what he's doing. We should send him some money."
Listening to New York people whine about how Robinson Cano went to the place that offered him the most amount of money is pleasing. "He obviously doesn't care about the pin stripe honor." Yeah CC Sabathia, Jacoby Ellsbury, and Mark Teixeira really care about the honor there as well. The Yankees throw money at every single high priced free agent there is on the market. Some come and some don't. Don't whine when one of your own guys goes somewhere else.
Was in Detroit this past weekend for the Thanksgiving game. The time we spent there was enjoyable. The beer and food were great. We also had a picture with Santa. I would rather not discuss the game. Please don't make me think back to that game.
Sara goes to Trinidad for the weekend. This was another one of her online victories. Apparently others have done this contest and have gone skydiving or drove a Lamborghini. Sara goes to Trinidad. Now if she drove a Lamborghini out of a plane in Trinidad that would be the ultimate one upper.
Found out that a dude didn't read the fine print in an ebay ad and received a picture of an XBOX One.
I have a phobia of going into a room, having multiple people sitting in a room talking quietly without any music playing. How can you not have background music to everything? Any time there is silence it's uncomfortable. Put music on and all that goes away.
Was asked to DJ the Paddyfest Gala Dinner. I didn't realize how prestigious this event was until my Mother raised her eyebrow and said they asked you? Wow! Yes Mom, they asked me.
As a grown man you must know when you have snot running down your nose. Come on, clean yourself up. Even while looking at gaming mousepads. You heard me right. Gaming mouse pads.
So you changed your name to Billy Ocean. You could pick any name in the world and you chose Billy Ocean?
Watched this recently. It's a long one, but it's gorgeous. The drummer in the Adventure Guide shirt is my favorite.
Started watching the Wire recently. Well I am screwed this winter. Red Wine, slow cooker meals, and the Wire. I am going to be a fat fu**.
Really enjoy when people get really angry and don't know how to fight. They for some reason run at the person with their head down like a battering ram. You can't see where you are going and you are off balance. This is a terrible technique.
Top 3 old school wrestling moves
3 - Back Rake (Everybody that didn't know how to wrestle properly)
2 - Headbutt (Junk Yard Dog)
1 - Bear Hug (Andre the Giant)
I would like to give a shout out to those that make it enjoyable to read Facebook updates. The ones that write things that are interesting, funny, opinionated, and entertaining. Ask yourself this when you are done writing your status update. Would you want to read that? If you feel your eyes glossing over after you wrote that Rob Ford recycled joke or that Let's go Leafs status update. Just stop what you are doing. Go to the corner store. Chug down a 1litre jug of Chocolate Milk, and then think about what you have just done.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Thursday: Let's give thanks to everything that we have.
Friday: Let's beat the crap out of each other for that $75.00 TV.
There are now two days that I hate in the calendar year. Black Friday and Boxing Day. The days where all manners go out the window and you are willing to sell your soul for a chance at saving a few bucks. To those that were patient. Thank you! To those that were upset because they couldn't get service as soon as you wanted service. Shop online!
Matt Flynn has an X-Men power. It's called when he plays any type of sport his arm turns into a spaghetti noodle.
Today is the last day of Movember. My team raised over $700.00 great job to my whole team. We are now allowed back in to Toys R' Us and can deliver our children to school without glares.
Black Sabbath is playing in Hamilton. Jerry Seinfeld is playing in Kitchener. Craig Ferguson is playing in Kitchener. What's that Kitchener? You are becoming a place where comedians come due to the amazing sense of humour that all Kitchener people have. Hamilton, well you live up to all expectations. Steel town grease balls unite. If you guys need a ride I will pick you up in my '84 Monte Carlo. We will have to fill up on gas half way there. "Generals gathered in their masses."
Our work Xmas party is tomorrow. Looking forward to having a steak. I will not celebrate the buffet. Buffet's are for people that still purchase the Hungry Man meal. That cold dessert still haunts me. "I heated it for the amount of time it said. And it's still freezing cold." Then you put it back in for 10 seconds and it burns your mouth. Fu** you Hungry Man.
Ron Burgundy on TSN is absolutely perfect. He wears the classic TSN jacket and is going to commentate a curling event. How can you go wrong with any of those things.
Top 3 Actors that need to stick by Wes Anderson's side to make all movies.
3 - Jason Schwartzman
2 - Edward Norton
1 - Owen Wilson
As I get older I feel that I get excited about different things then when I was younger. You count down hours until you can have a nap. You get pumped for the ribs that are in the slow cooker. You venture into vintages and see that there is a beautiful bottle of malbec that is $4.00 off and become extremely excited. Back in the day it was. "Wonder if I can drink all 24 Budweisers tonight?
Dealt with a little bout of vertigo recently. I know that it's not funny, but I did have to laugh at myself while I attempted to get to the washroom. I felt like a toddler learning how to walk. Except I was much louder. I would have been much safer in full goaltending equipment.
Don't ask for deals on Black Friday. Regardless what you your ethnicity is.
"Oh I just love giving massages and I am so good at it." I always have the same dream of Sara saying this to me after working Black Friday.
Would eating catnip do the same thing to a human being as it does to cats? I have also heard somebody say once that smoking the stuff in ant traps would really mess them up.
Bob Dylan - just because you sing it in a perfectly calming tone doesn't mean that anything you say makes any sense whatsoever.
Salad tries so hard to be exciting. "Oh I will add fruit, cheese, and nuts. Then they will all love me." Dress up anyway you like. You are still a salad.
Friday: Let's beat the crap out of each other for that $75.00 TV.
There are now two days that I hate in the calendar year. Black Friday and Boxing Day. The days where all manners go out the window and you are willing to sell your soul for a chance at saving a few bucks. To those that were patient. Thank you! To those that were upset because they couldn't get service as soon as you wanted service. Shop online!
Matt Flynn has an X-Men power. It's called when he plays any type of sport his arm turns into a spaghetti noodle.
Today is the last day of Movember. My team raised over $700.00 great job to my whole team. We are now allowed back in to Toys R' Us and can deliver our children to school without glares.
Black Sabbath is playing in Hamilton. Jerry Seinfeld is playing in Kitchener. Craig Ferguson is playing in Kitchener. What's that Kitchener? You are becoming a place where comedians come due to the amazing sense of humour that all Kitchener people have. Hamilton, well you live up to all expectations. Steel town grease balls unite. If you guys need a ride I will pick you up in my '84 Monte Carlo. We will have to fill up on gas half way there. "Generals gathered in their masses."
Our work Xmas party is tomorrow. Looking forward to having a steak. I will not celebrate the buffet. Buffet's are for people that still purchase the Hungry Man meal. That cold dessert still haunts me. "I heated it for the amount of time it said. And it's still freezing cold." Then you put it back in for 10 seconds and it burns your mouth. Fu** you Hungry Man.
Ron Burgundy on TSN is absolutely perfect. He wears the classic TSN jacket and is going to commentate a curling event. How can you go wrong with any of those things.
Top 3 Actors that need to stick by Wes Anderson's side to make all movies.
3 - Jason Schwartzman
2 - Edward Norton
1 - Owen Wilson
As I get older I feel that I get excited about different things then when I was younger. You count down hours until you can have a nap. You get pumped for the ribs that are in the slow cooker. You venture into vintages and see that there is a beautiful bottle of malbec that is $4.00 off and become extremely excited. Back in the day it was. "Wonder if I can drink all 24 Budweisers tonight?
Dealt with a little bout of vertigo recently. I know that it's not funny, but I did have to laugh at myself while I attempted to get to the washroom. I felt like a toddler learning how to walk. Except I was much louder. I would have been much safer in full goaltending equipment.
Don't ask for deals on Black Friday. Regardless what you your ethnicity is.
"Oh I just love giving massages and I am so good at it." I always have the same dream of Sara saying this to me after working Black Friday.
Would eating catnip do the same thing to a human being as it does to cats? I have also heard somebody say once that smoking the stuff in ant traps would really mess them up.
Bob Dylan - just because you sing it in a perfectly calming tone doesn't mean that anything you say makes any sense whatsoever.
Salad tries so hard to be exciting. "Oh I will add fruit, cheese, and nuts. Then they will all love me." Dress up anyway you like. You are still a salad.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Questions that I have thought of Today
Why do you still live at home at the
age of 30? Why do you still have set times to do battle against
other people online? When is the last time that you were outside?
Why do you eat two to three boxes of pizza pockets a week? Why don't
you care about your health? How are you the smartest and dumbest
generation all at once? Why do you enjoy music that doesn't have
instruments? Why can you only concentrate for three minutes or less?
Why do you think you deserve everything served to you on a silver
platter? How do you allow yourself to become obese? Why are women
going backwards with their human rights? What happened to the
gentlemen? Why do certain men dress a way that makes them look like
an imbecile? Why does the younger generation have no respect for the
older generation? Why was spanking abolished? Why haven't you left
your house for three months? Why has social drinking at pubs all but
vanished? How does country music stay popular? Why does owning a
certain type of car with a certain type of rims important to you?
Why is UFC so big? Why are there the only two types of people in
North America (people that work out and people that don't work out?)
How has becoming a nerd become so popular, but bullying still a huge
issue? When it seems that people are much more accepted for their
differences, why is their such huge bouts of senseless terrorism and
violence? Where has intelligent conversation gone? Why do you show
me so many youtube videos that are mainly mediocre? Why are you
always trying to outwit the other person? Why can songs only be
popular for a week now? Why didn't Blockbuster adapt when it was so
obvious? Why are you waiting in line for Black Friday deals a week
in advance? Why do you think you are too good for your job? Why
don't you believe in wisdom or experience? Why are you so eager to
travel to places that people wouldn't generally travel to? Why do
you enjoy sitting on the beach so much? Why are we always being sold
something? Why can't people just sit in silence? Why do we drink
milk? How can you not respect the Beatles? Why can't men say that
other men are handsome? Have you ever read anything important on
Facebook? Why isn't just being a good person good enough to get into
heaven? How can you possibly think that being gay is a choice, and
not something that you are born with? How is racism still a problem?
How do you think drugs for your depression is a good thing? How did
we live without drugs for our brain for so long? How can you not
like dogs? How is anyone ever bored? How have you never seen the
Matrix? How can you possibly not like Breaking Bad? How is drug
addiction possible? Why would you ever try heroin or meth knowing
their addiction issues? Why did you put your tongue on that frozen
pole? Why do women hate when their men go to the strippers so much?
Do you really think that they are going to go home with a stripper?
Why are cabs so expensive and buses don't run until 2am when they are
trying to cut down on drinking and driving? Why are potato chips so
tasty? Why do you enjoy Bud Light so much that you would actually
spend money on it? Why do you shave your chest? (trimming I
understand) Why do you wear your shades indoors? Why don't shows
know when they are becoming awful? How is Doctor Who so amazing for
so many years? Why don't you own Sufjan Stevens, Illinoise? Why do
I love yoga pants so much? Sorry that was dumb. Why was I happy to
eat chocolate bars as a child for lunch? What's the deal with acne
and having it as a teenager? Why do you squeal your tires in parking
lots? Why do I always giggle at squirrels and their tails? Why
don't you warn me when you have farted? Why do I look like I have
just come out of a coma when I take my glasses off?
Monday, November 18, 2013
Speakeasy was a success last night. Listening to people tell stories that were both humorous and touching. It also helped that they had a grilled cheese that had roast beef, provolone cheese, and horse radish mayo. Sara wanted to order nachos, wings, and a milk shake. I told her that this would be too loud. Sometimes I have to be the voice of reason. The last part might be or might not be true.
Yahoo blames the Argos loss on Rob Ford. Maybe we can blame what's happening in the Philippines on Rob Ford as well. I know we all love hearing about Rob Ford still so. Rob Ford, Rob Ford, Rob Ford.
Elysium - 6.8/10
This past week we also went to see a band called Sleep Sun. They put on a phenomenal live show. The lead singer had a charisma about him. The band absolutely killed every part of the set. They also don't use computers whatsoever for any part of their show. A shirt was even purchased. When there is a shirt purchased you know that you have a life long fan boy.
Is there anything more disgraceful than a man wearing pajama pants? Even if you are taking out the garbage, have some pride. Spill the garbage juice on some cords.
American Horror Story - Coven - 7.8/10
Walking Dead new season - 6.7/10
Playstation 4 is out. There is a game called OctoDad. The premise of the game is that you are an Octopus trying to trick your family that you are human. You must walk with your tentacles and the premise of the game is to find ties. Ties that you wear of course. Any other type of tie wouldn't make any sense? I am not making any of this up.
When I am dealing with customers sometimes they start to snicker. I get a little bit annoyed that they are laughing at what I am saying. Then it dawns on me that I have a 14 year old boys moustache. Everything is good after that.
Taco Bell should only be open from the hours of 12am to 5am. This is the only time that people have craving for ground beef that came out of a bag.
Top 3 foods that you can find around the house after drinking at 2:47am.
3 - Peanut Butter/Banana Sandwich
2 - Tang (I know this isn't food, but I dip my finger in and eat it sometimes)
1 - Any type of deli meat.
Nothing better than calling your beer menu the beer bible and making it look exactly like a bible.
This past Friday was Sara's work Xmas party. It was held at St. George Hall. Food was fantastic, band was excellent, and Sara won some Belgium beer with mugs. Only problem. I was the only guy out of a table of 8. There are things you hear at a table of only women that there is no need for a man to hear And yes, they still all go to the bathroom together. One thing that we could all agree on was that you couldn't find true love at Phil's. (this works multiple ways. The bar in Waterloo. Also Phil Gotfried's house in the SciFi realm.)
I was told recently that I give off an adult vibe. This is something that has never been said to me before, and probably will never be said again.
Hahahahaha, yes I know I have some dirt above my lip. You unoriginal sh**head.
They joke in animation about falling in an open man hole. In real life that would friggin hurt. I don't mind seeing minor injuries, but this is one that I don't want to witness from the animation world.
If somebody has wronged you. My suggestion is that you steamroll them. You think about the things that you have done wrong when you are being steamrolled.
Dumb and Dumber 2 is in the works. This is a live grenade of a movie premise. It could be absolutely wonderful and bring back all of those beautiful memories of Jeff Daniels on the toilet. Or it could bring back memories of Jim Carrey being really afraid of the Number 23.
Social Media Addiction::::::::::::::
BBM: 76278edc
Twitter: @hosehead12
Mailing Address:
GPS Coordinates:
Yahoo blames the Argos loss on Rob Ford. Maybe we can blame what's happening in the Philippines on Rob Ford as well. I know we all love hearing about Rob Ford still so. Rob Ford, Rob Ford, Rob Ford.
Elysium - 6.8/10
This past week we also went to see a band called Sleep Sun. They put on a phenomenal live show. The lead singer had a charisma about him. The band absolutely killed every part of the set. They also don't use computers whatsoever for any part of their show. A shirt was even purchased. When there is a shirt purchased you know that you have a life long fan boy.
Is there anything more disgraceful than a man wearing pajama pants? Even if you are taking out the garbage, have some pride. Spill the garbage juice on some cords.
American Horror Story - Coven - 7.8/10
Walking Dead new season - 6.7/10
Playstation 4 is out. There is a game called OctoDad. The premise of the game is that you are an Octopus trying to trick your family that you are human. You must walk with your tentacles and the premise of the game is to find ties. Ties that you wear of course. Any other type of tie wouldn't make any sense? I am not making any of this up.
When I am dealing with customers sometimes they start to snicker. I get a little bit annoyed that they are laughing at what I am saying. Then it dawns on me that I have a 14 year old boys moustache. Everything is good after that.
Taco Bell should only be open from the hours of 12am to 5am. This is the only time that people have craving for ground beef that came out of a bag.
Top 3 foods that you can find around the house after drinking at 2:47am.
3 - Peanut Butter/Banana Sandwich
2 - Tang (I know this isn't food, but I dip my finger in and eat it sometimes)
1 - Any type of deli meat.
Nothing better than calling your beer menu the beer bible and making it look exactly like a bible.
This past Friday was Sara's work Xmas party. It was held at St. George Hall. Food was fantastic, band was excellent, and Sara won some Belgium beer with mugs. Only problem. I was the only guy out of a table of 8. There are things you hear at a table of only women that there is no need for a man to hear And yes, they still all go to the bathroom together. One thing that we could all agree on was that you couldn't find true love at Phil's. (this works multiple ways. The bar in Waterloo. Also Phil Gotfried's house in the SciFi realm.)
I was told recently that I give off an adult vibe. This is something that has never been said to me before, and probably will never be said again.
Hahahahaha, yes I know I have some dirt above my lip. You unoriginal sh**head.
They joke in animation about falling in an open man hole. In real life that would friggin hurt. I don't mind seeing minor injuries, but this is one that I don't want to witness from the animation world.
If somebody has wronged you. My suggestion is that you steamroll them. You think about the things that you have done wrong when you are being steamrolled.
Dumb and Dumber 2 is in the works. This is a live grenade of a movie premise. It could be absolutely wonderful and bring back all of those beautiful memories of Jeff Daniels on the toilet. Or it could bring back memories of Jim Carrey being really afraid of the Number 23.
Social Media Addiction::::::::::::::
BBM: 76278edc
Twitter: @hosehead12
Mailing Address:
GPS Coordinates:
Friday, November 15, 2013
Top 5 Albums of the Year
Every year I do this as most people know. There are a couple of rules. Cannot be a greatest hits and cannot be a reissue. This year was probably the toughest year since I have started doing this.
5 - Local Natives - Hummingbird
I had thoughts that this album was going to be number one when I first heard the album. First of all it was produced by one the guys that does all the National producing. Instantly you will hear the similarities in the drums and the tones of the songs. The lead singer has a very distinct voice which has to be warmed up to. From their first album they have grown leaps and bounds from just a one trick pony to a dimensional band that can rotate in and out of different types of sounds without flinching. Heavy Feet is a stud of a first single and is far and away the best song on this album. It will be interesting to see where this band goes next with their sound. They could even venture into My Morning Jacket territory. Downloads: Heavy Feet, You and I, Mt Washington, Bowery
Caveman - Caveman
This band came from out of nowhere. I had never even heard of them before until Sara and I traveled up to Alleghany State Park and heard one of their singles on XM radio. They absolutely kill the singing through the tunnel sound matched with the dreamy guitar. They are a mixture of Depeche Mode and Tame Imapala. For anybody that knows my musical taste you know that I have ventured deep into psychedelia and I might not be heard from again. There are multiple singles from this album that have made 4 star and the 5 star category. One thing that I really look for in a great album is longevity on my Ipod without being skipped over. This album has been out since early in the year and it never gets skipped over. Subtle vocals with flowing guitar and drums makes this band best newcomer of the year. Downloads: In the City, Pricey, Shut You Down, Never Want to Know
Junip - Junip
Can you say ridiculous expectations? I ranked their opening album number 5 of all time. Quite a follow up. I liked the album from minute one. When I really started to appreciate the album though was when I was able to see them play live again. They are able to spark moods with the smallest amount of chords. Jose Gonzalez is an absolute monster on the acoustic. The band plays around his beautiful harmonies, and are able to maximize his tone masterfully. This album has been creeping up the list slowly. They don't sway too far away from what they are great at, but really there is no need to. They are masters of the art of musical seduction. Downloads: Line of Fire, So Clear, Beginnings, Your Life Your Call.
Arctic Monkey's - AM
Someone wrote in the YouTube comments that this was musical porn. I agree 100% I thought the Arctic Monkey's topped out with their opening album. They were a wonderful punk rock band that fell into the hole that you see so many bands fall into. Can't top their opening album. I am not sure if this album is better than their first, but it's so much different. If you just listen to the lyrics and listen to the ability of Alex Turner to croon to rock music. There is not a cooler rock band right now than the Arctic Monkey's. With their 60's greaser look and with their music that send wonderful vibes directly up and down your spine. This album would be number one with a bullet almost every other year except for this year. Downloads: R U Mine,? Do I Wanna Know,? Why Do You Only Call Me When You Are High?
The National - Trouble Will Find Me
I cannot rave about this album enough. This is the best album that I have heard in about 10 years. More than half of the singles on this album are ranked with more than 5 stars. You can play this album at any point on any day and it will work. Rock drums, mood guitars, and the best voice and lyricist in the business. They are currently the best band in the world. Every single person that I have ever shown this album has fallen in love with it. Whether you love music or whether you are a radio listener you must own this album. Albums such as this only come out once a decade. I don't work for the National, but I feel as though that I should. If I was able to have surgery to make my voice sound like somebody else this would be the man. Downloads: Don't Swallow the Cap, Heavenfaced, Humiliation, Sea of Love, Graceless
Unitl next year. Keep the vinyl and the wine flowing.
5 - Local Natives - Hummingbird
I had thoughts that this album was going to be number one when I first heard the album. First of all it was produced by one the guys that does all the National producing. Instantly you will hear the similarities in the drums and the tones of the songs. The lead singer has a very distinct voice which has to be warmed up to. From their first album they have grown leaps and bounds from just a one trick pony to a dimensional band that can rotate in and out of different types of sounds without flinching. Heavy Feet is a stud of a first single and is far and away the best song on this album. It will be interesting to see where this band goes next with their sound. They could even venture into My Morning Jacket territory. Downloads: Heavy Feet, You and I, Mt Washington, Bowery
Caveman - Caveman
This band came from out of nowhere. I had never even heard of them before until Sara and I traveled up to Alleghany State Park and heard one of their singles on XM radio. They absolutely kill the singing through the tunnel sound matched with the dreamy guitar. They are a mixture of Depeche Mode and Tame Imapala. For anybody that knows my musical taste you know that I have ventured deep into psychedelia and I might not be heard from again. There are multiple singles from this album that have made 4 star and the 5 star category. One thing that I really look for in a great album is longevity on my Ipod without being skipped over. This album has been out since early in the year and it never gets skipped over. Subtle vocals with flowing guitar and drums makes this band best newcomer of the year. Downloads: In the City, Pricey, Shut You Down, Never Want to Know
Junip - Junip
Can you say ridiculous expectations? I ranked their opening album number 5 of all time. Quite a follow up. I liked the album from minute one. When I really started to appreciate the album though was when I was able to see them play live again. They are able to spark moods with the smallest amount of chords. Jose Gonzalez is an absolute monster on the acoustic. The band plays around his beautiful harmonies, and are able to maximize his tone masterfully. This album has been creeping up the list slowly. They don't sway too far away from what they are great at, but really there is no need to. They are masters of the art of musical seduction. Downloads: Line of Fire, So Clear, Beginnings, Your Life Your Call.
Arctic Monkey's - AM
Someone wrote in the YouTube comments that this was musical porn. I agree 100% I thought the Arctic Monkey's topped out with their opening album. They were a wonderful punk rock band that fell into the hole that you see so many bands fall into. Can't top their opening album. I am not sure if this album is better than their first, but it's so much different. If you just listen to the lyrics and listen to the ability of Alex Turner to croon to rock music. There is not a cooler rock band right now than the Arctic Monkey's. With their 60's greaser look and with their music that send wonderful vibes directly up and down your spine. This album would be number one with a bullet almost every other year except for this year. Downloads: R U Mine,? Do I Wanna Know,? Why Do You Only Call Me When You Are High?
The National - Trouble Will Find Me
I cannot rave about this album enough. This is the best album that I have heard in about 10 years. More than half of the singles on this album are ranked with more than 5 stars. You can play this album at any point on any day and it will work. Rock drums, mood guitars, and the best voice and lyricist in the business. They are currently the best band in the world. Every single person that I have ever shown this album has fallen in love with it. Whether you love music or whether you are a radio listener you must own this album. Albums such as this only come out once a decade. I don't work for the National, but I feel as though that I should. If I was able to have surgery to make my voice sound like somebody else this would be the man. Downloads: Don't Swallow the Cap, Heavenfaced, Humiliation, Sea of Love, Graceless
Monday, November 11, 2013
Yes, Sara and I won another contest. This time to Cancun. Yes, we are very lucky. Yes, we should buy lottery tickets. Blah, blah, blah, where is my mojito and sun screen it's starting to get toasty out here in the sun?
Now is there anybody that says that Aaron Rodgers isn't the most valuable player to his team? Hopefully he is ready for the Thanksgiving game.
After dj'ing this past weekend Sara and I stopped into a variety store on the way home. There were two gentlemen in there that were feeling fantastic. They were picking out some type of greeting card. This was at 1am or so. We were looking at them inquisitively. they spoke up that they needed to buy a friend a card because they put raw meat in his bed while he slept, and he was very upset. I enjoyed this so much that I gave them an expired coupon that I had in my wallet to put in the card.
Walmart strikes again. While walking through Walmart last weekend I noticed they had a tasting station. Their tasting stations are always so classic that I felt that I needed to see what it was they were allowing people to enjoy. This time it was Oreo cookies. Having a single Oreo cookie in a container makes a man happy and confused all at the same time. Also what percentage of people from Cambridge, especially people that shop at Walmart haven't tried an Oreo cookie before?
Remembrance Day is today. Still think this day should be a holiday. Doesn't really matter what you believe in we can all agree that people that are willing to give their life for this country deserve more than just a few moments of silence.
Thor: The Dark World - 8.2/10
The World's End - 8.1/10
Percy Jackson and whatever sh**head he is fighting now - 3.2/10
Now this isn't completely fair. I did fall asleep due to too much pizza being consumed. What I did see though was awful by any standard. Let alone my Sunday night brain.
I really need to find a Tweed suit. I didn't think it would be this tough to come by.
This is older news, but Justin Bieber was carried to the top of Great Wall of China. He really needs one of those douche bag change jars. Maybe he needs to move back to Stratford and work on a farm for six months during winter. Is it harder on the farm in the Winter months? I really have no idea. I would be an awful farmer.
Top 3 worst country songs that everybody knows and enjoys except for me (blood runs from my ears when they are playing.)
3 - Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)
2 - She Thinks My Tractors Sexy.
1 - Red Solo Cup
When you eat popcorn for dinner weird things happen the next day. Your brain thinks about things differently. You reassess all life problems and are able to think more clearly. All while on the toilet.
Future Shop had a deal where you could trade in any Xbox 360, PS3, or Wii U game and receive a top title for free. I have never seen a lineup more dominated by men in my entire life.
I like the looks on people's faces when too much hand cream comes out of the bottle and they are trying to find a way to get rid of it.
Really enjoyed this recently.
Sometimes while using a spoon I use the airplane noise. This is usually by myself. Now since I have a moustache I do it all the time. I then look at the stranger with food in my moustache and give them a toothy grin of pride.
Bitstrips has become a big thing recently. Being a hipster I knew about this years ago and now only draw my bitstrips.
Now is there anybody that says that Aaron Rodgers isn't the most valuable player to his team? Hopefully he is ready for the Thanksgiving game.
After dj'ing this past weekend Sara and I stopped into a variety store on the way home. There were two gentlemen in there that were feeling fantastic. They were picking out some type of greeting card. This was at 1am or so. We were looking at them inquisitively. they spoke up that they needed to buy a friend a card because they put raw meat in his bed while he slept, and he was very upset. I enjoyed this so much that I gave them an expired coupon that I had in my wallet to put in the card.
Walmart strikes again. While walking through Walmart last weekend I noticed they had a tasting station. Their tasting stations are always so classic that I felt that I needed to see what it was they were allowing people to enjoy. This time it was Oreo cookies. Having a single Oreo cookie in a container makes a man happy and confused all at the same time. Also what percentage of people from Cambridge, especially people that shop at Walmart haven't tried an Oreo cookie before?
Remembrance Day is today. Still think this day should be a holiday. Doesn't really matter what you believe in we can all agree that people that are willing to give their life for this country deserve more than just a few moments of silence.
Thor: The Dark World - 8.2/10
The World's End - 8.1/10
Percy Jackson and whatever sh**head he is fighting now - 3.2/10
Now this isn't completely fair. I did fall asleep due to too much pizza being consumed. What I did see though was awful by any standard. Let alone my Sunday night brain.
I really need to find a Tweed suit. I didn't think it would be this tough to come by.
This is older news, but Justin Bieber was carried to the top of Great Wall of China. He really needs one of those douche bag change jars. Maybe he needs to move back to Stratford and work on a farm for six months during winter. Is it harder on the farm in the Winter months? I really have no idea. I would be an awful farmer.
Top 3 worst country songs that everybody knows and enjoys except for me (blood runs from my ears when they are playing.)
3 - Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)
2 - She Thinks My Tractors Sexy.
1 - Red Solo Cup
When you eat popcorn for dinner weird things happen the next day. Your brain thinks about things differently. You reassess all life problems and are able to think more clearly. All while on the toilet.
Future Shop had a deal where you could trade in any Xbox 360, PS3, or Wii U game and receive a top title for free. I have never seen a lineup more dominated by men in my entire life.
I like the looks on people's faces when too much hand cream comes out of the bottle and they are trying to find a way to get rid of it.
Really enjoyed this recently.
Sometimes while using a spoon I use the airplane noise. This is usually by myself. Now since I have a moustache I do it all the time. I then look at the stranger with food in my moustache and give them a toothy grin of pride.
Bitstrips has become a big thing recently. Being a hipster I knew about this years ago and now only draw my bitstrips.
Monday, November 4, 2013
This is something that is rarely said. I should have went to Hamilton instead.
I have started my own Movember team. If you would like to donate your hard earned cash you may. If you think that the hair on my face is irresistible. Rather than running your fingers through the hair above my lip donate money instead. My user name is darsmith and my team name is Tom Selleck's Lady Killers.
http://ca.movember.com/
How do you say jealousy? Well you have family members post pictures of them drinking wine while in South Africa with beautiful scenery behind them. Oh yeah! Well I scraped ice off of my windshield and watched the Big Bang Theory. Take that.
Sara won tickets to see Thor this Wednesday. Am I dressing as the Norse God is the question that I usually receive next. The answer is unfortunately no. My bicep ripped the costume.
Problems with bullying has even reached the NFL level. There has always been hazing of rookies in all professional sports. You just wonder if it has gotten worse? Or are people just a lot more sensitive to that type of thing?
The To Do List - 7.2/10
Refreshing movie. Basically it's American Pie from a female perspective.
DJ'd for a wedding this past weekend. They were the most respectful crowd that I have ever dj'd for. Usually this is the people that I get up requesting songs.
"Hey can you play something a little more upbeat than this sh**?"
"The Bride asked for it to be mellow while the midnight food is being served."
"I want to fu***** dance. Do you have that song by that girl that is really big right now?"
"Do you know the song title?"
"You know it goes like do do do sheesh shup do do do."
"I am not sure what that is?"
"Do you have anything newer than this? I want to dance wooooooo!!!!"
"Ok, after the food is served I will hook you up."
At the Bingeman's bowling alley they have $1.00 games on Wednesday nights and $5.00 Steamwhistle pints. My total bill for three games of bowling and two beers was less than $20.00. I know all of you are looking for something to do on Wednesday nights. Vampire Diaries is not enough.
Currently reading Ender's Game. I am trying to get it done before I go see the movie. I am pretty sure some of the ideas for the Matrix came from this novel.
Small pet peeve, but still needs to be mentioned. When you are saying the score of a professional sports game always put the bigger number on top. You always sound like an idiot when you say two to three.
There are way too many reality shows that star people that you can tell have serious mental problems. The people that believe that they are super heroes. Just look straight into their eyes and tell me that they aren't going to cause a serious problem for another human being at some point in their life.
The Bent Elbow has an event called Speakeasy. People tell stories while you have pints. There is nothing better than somebody telling me a great story that I can steal for my own later on.
When you are trying to return something that you have either broke yourself or that is way out of return policy don't go straight to overreaction mode when you are rejected. This will anger the people that were trying to help you and you will receive very little or no help at all. Plus you are an ass**** if you do this on a consistent basis.
When you have a song called "Be Careful With That Axe Eugene." There were many of drugs consumed.
For some reason I feel better when I go into a place of business that has a friendly dog in the building.
My brain does not remember lines from TV shows as well as others. There is a legend in my home town that remembers practically every single Simpsons line known to man. There is another legend in the Toronto area that has the same skill. Well, well, well! This maybe should be a televised event that has a game show feel to it that also involves drinking. The drinking was added on for the pure sake of alcohol being awesome.
I have started my own Movember team. If you would like to donate your hard earned cash you may. If you think that the hair on my face is irresistible. Rather than running your fingers through the hair above my lip donate money instead. My user name is darsmith and my team name is Tom Selleck's Lady Killers.
http://ca.movember.com/
How do you say jealousy? Well you have family members post pictures of them drinking wine while in South Africa with beautiful scenery behind them. Oh yeah! Well I scraped ice off of my windshield and watched the Big Bang Theory. Take that.
Sara won tickets to see Thor this Wednesday. Am I dressing as the Norse God is the question that I usually receive next. The answer is unfortunately no. My bicep ripped the costume.
Problems with bullying has even reached the NFL level. There has always been hazing of rookies in all professional sports. You just wonder if it has gotten worse? Or are people just a lot more sensitive to that type of thing?
The To Do List - 7.2/10
Refreshing movie. Basically it's American Pie from a female perspective.
DJ'd for a wedding this past weekend. They were the most respectful crowd that I have ever dj'd for. Usually this is the people that I get up requesting songs.
"Hey can you play something a little more upbeat than this sh**?"
"The Bride asked for it to be mellow while the midnight food is being served."
"I want to fu***** dance. Do you have that song by that girl that is really big right now?"
"Do you know the song title?"
"You know it goes like do do do sheesh shup do do do."
"I am not sure what that is?"
"Do you have anything newer than this? I want to dance wooooooo!!!!"
"Ok, after the food is served I will hook you up."
At the Bingeman's bowling alley they have $1.00 games on Wednesday nights and $5.00 Steamwhistle pints. My total bill for three games of bowling and two beers was less than $20.00. I know all of you are looking for something to do on Wednesday nights. Vampire Diaries is not enough.
Currently reading Ender's Game. I am trying to get it done before I go see the movie. I am pretty sure some of the ideas for the Matrix came from this novel.
Small pet peeve, but still needs to be mentioned. When you are saying the score of a professional sports game always put the bigger number on top. You always sound like an idiot when you say two to three.
There are way too many reality shows that star people that you can tell have serious mental problems. The people that believe that they are super heroes. Just look straight into their eyes and tell me that they aren't going to cause a serious problem for another human being at some point in their life.
The Bent Elbow has an event called Speakeasy. People tell stories while you have pints. There is nothing better than somebody telling me a great story that I can steal for my own later on.
When you are trying to return something that you have either broke yourself or that is way out of return policy don't go straight to overreaction mode when you are rejected. This will anger the people that were trying to help you and you will receive very little or no help at all. Plus you are an ass**** if you do this on a consistent basis.
When you have a song called "Be Careful With That Axe Eugene." There were many of drugs consumed.
For some reason I feel better when I go into a place of business that has a friendly dog in the building.
My brain does not remember lines from TV shows as well as others. There is a legend in my home town that remembers practically every single Simpsons line known to man. There is another legend in the Toronto area that has the same skill. Well, well, well! This maybe should be a televised event that has a game show feel to it that also involves drinking. The drinking was added on for the pure sake of alcohol being awesome.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Monday, October 28, 2013
Received two of the three jerseys from China. Quality isn't too bad and the Flyers haven't lost a game since I received the jerseys. Even if the shade of orange resembles a tangerine it's worth it for a Flyers winning streak.
Today was the Adventure Guide sale. Clothing is 70% off and shoes are $39.99. There were many old man plaid shirts to choose from. For those that make fun of the blue plaid shirt that I always wear. I now have three of the exact same shirts in different colours. Take that!
Pitchfork gave the new Arcade Fire album a 9.2/10. I have just started to listen to it. So far so good. Pitchfork has always had a Ryan Gosling thing for Arcade Fire. We will see, we will see.
There are people that I know similar to George Castenza's mother. They have never laughed or chuckled in their entire life.
New reality show starting up. Daryl Smith in the army. Could you imagine?
"Smith get down and give me 20."
"How about 1. That's all I have the strength for, and I really don't want lose the lotion off of my hands that I just put on."
Greg Jennings goes out and talks smack about Aaron Rodgers. Then comes out with a huge game of 1 reception for 9 yards. You really showed him Jennings. Just continue to count your money. Is your money spray painted in purple and yellow?
We Are What We Are - 8.1/10
Great horror movie. Fantastic acting by a bunch of unknowns. The Father is outstanding. Do not watch if you get grossed out easily or don't like cannibals. Who doesn't like cannibals?
Give the dude from Sleepy Hollow some new clothing. He slept in these clothes for 200 years. Take him to Old Navy or something.
Fozzy is an amusing name. There is a rule if you are named Fozzy. You are never allowed to shave any part of your body ever.
Attention What! This what a co-worker thought that they said in the army.
Started watching the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D recently. 5.5/10 What was I talking about again?
Regardless of the situation I always walk the other way when there is an old man approaching me. If old people were just looking to share knowledge it would be one thing. They are never looking to just share knowledge. They always need help or their grumpy.
There is a huge disconnect between the current generation of young adults and the last generation of adults. This is due to Smartphones. Apple has ruined people's attention spans and their creative imagination. I am on level 90 in Candy Crush.
Halloween is this Thursday. Halloween is my absolute favorite of all days. Discount candy the day after. I can dress like a slut and nobody will judge me. It's just an amazing day.
Have you ever glared at the sun; because you were upset that it was too bright?
Top 3 bottles of white wine that I have drank recently.
3 - Wayne Gretzky - Riesling
2 - Megalomaniac - Riesling
3 - Relax (German) - Riesling
There seems to be a theme here with my wine tasting.
Sometime I would like to race a man from Kenya just to see how badly I would lose.
This year I might take a picture of how my moustache looks on the last day of Movember. Then compare it over the years. My entire goal of this over the years is to be able to curl it at both ends of my moustache. I will take hair from my head if necessary.
What was I doing while I was sleeping last night? My sheet was tied around my leg, my arm, and my neck. I almost fell down trying to get out of bed.
Today was the Adventure Guide sale. Clothing is 70% off and shoes are $39.99. There were many old man plaid shirts to choose from. For those that make fun of the blue plaid shirt that I always wear. I now have three of the exact same shirts in different colours. Take that!
Pitchfork gave the new Arcade Fire album a 9.2/10. I have just started to listen to it. So far so good. Pitchfork has always had a Ryan Gosling thing for Arcade Fire. We will see, we will see.
There are people that I know similar to George Castenza's mother. They have never laughed or chuckled in their entire life.
New reality show starting up. Daryl Smith in the army. Could you imagine?
"Smith get down and give me 20."
"How about 1. That's all I have the strength for, and I really don't want lose the lotion off of my hands that I just put on."
Greg Jennings goes out and talks smack about Aaron Rodgers. Then comes out with a huge game of 1 reception for 9 yards. You really showed him Jennings. Just continue to count your money. Is your money spray painted in purple and yellow?
We Are What We Are - 8.1/10
Great horror movie. Fantastic acting by a bunch of unknowns. The Father is outstanding. Do not watch if you get grossed out easily or don't like cannibals. Who doesn't like cannibals?
Give the dude from Sleepy Hollow some new clothing. He slept in these clothes for 200 years. Take him to Old Navy or something.
Fozzy is an amusing name. There is a rule if you are named Fozzy. You are never allowed to shave any part of your body ever.
Attention What! This what a co-worker thought that they said in the army.
Started watching the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D recently. 5.5/10 What was I talking about again?
Regardless of the situation I always walk the other way when there is an old man approaching me. If old people were just looking to share knowledge it would be one thing. They are never looking to just share knowledge. They always need help or their grumpy.
There is a huge disconnect between the current generation of young adults and the last generation of adults. This is due to Smartphones. Apple has ruined people's attention spans and their creative imagination. I am on level 90 in Candy Crush.
Halloween is this Thursday. Halloween is my absolute favorite of all days. Discount candy the day after. I can dress like a slut and nobody will judge me. It's just an amazing day.
Have you ever glared at the sun; because you were upset that it was too bright?
Top 3 bottles of white wine that I have drank recently.
3 - Wayne Gretzky - Riesling
2 - Megalomaniac - Riesling
3 - Relax (German) - Riesling
There seems to be a theme here with my wine tasting.
Sometime I would like to race a man from Kenya just to see how badly I would lose.
This year I might take a picture of how my moustache looks on the last day of Movember. Then compare it over the years. My entire goal of this over the years is to be able to curl it at both ends of my moustache. I will take hair from my head if necessary.
What was I doing while I was sleeping last night? My sheet was tied around my leg, my arm, and my neck. I almost fell down trying to get out of bed.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Awesome, the Boston Red Sox versus the St Louis Cardinals in the World Series. The least interesting World Series in the history of baseball. Oh India is playing South Africa in Cricket. Turn it to that.
I try to eat healthy. Sometimes though I have to go through the lineup at Sobey's with two bags of chips and some diet pop and feel that I have explain myself with my unhealthy eating choices. "Off to a party." Even though I will be sitting in my boxers eating all dressed chips while drinking out of a 2L Diet Sprite bottle.
Matt Mays is tomorrow night at the Starlight. I will see nobody there, but I still must advertise. Even if I convert one person to good music. It has been worth while.
Sara is alive and well back from Everest Base Camp. For those that ask how I deal with knowing the dangerous situations that she has put herself through. Ask yourself. Have you ever tried to tell Sara what to do?
There aren't very many people that can say that they don't know who Bruce Wayne or Clark Kent is. I know of one This person is older than 5 and younger than 60. How do you live with yourself?
If you don't know the answer to something and are proven wrong. If you still use a certain truly arrogant tone of voice you can still get away without being called out. You will come across as a douche bag. But you will not be questioned.
I am purchasing Michael Jackson's red jacket from the Thriller video. You cannot stop me from doing this you can only embrace me. Attempt to keep up with the vapor trail that my white socks leave and you will be sent back to your seat with your headphones on that you didn't even know that you were wearing that has Smashmouth playing.
Reverse Polarity is next weekend. You have two seconds to guess what this is. This is a Doctor Who convention. If you were correct you will receive one sip of my warm Old English.
Blackberry Messenger is available in Android and Iphone. "What? This is the absolute best day of my life. It took them so long. I need to start messaging my friends immediately. Oh that's a hilarious cat video. I would never see this on Facebook. Ah my life is now complete again. How did I live without this for soooooo looooong!"
Going to see the Rangers tonight. Received tickets from my father that are just a few rows off of the ice. What's the best part of this evening? You can bring your drink to your seat now.
Halloween party's and costumes will be out in abundance this coming weekend. There are three types of women's costumes that are the most common.
3 - The Couples Costume. (We will look so cute together)
2 - The Smart/Sharp Costume. (I have never seen this done before. eg. Firefox, blue screen of death)
1 - The I Can Dress Like a Slut and No One Can Judge Me Costume (Pretty self explanatory)
I have received an overwhelming amount of support of me coming over to people's houses cooking them dinner and drinking their booze while sharing my infinite amount of wisdom. People are going to be so disappointed when my only wisdom is to not wear socks with sandles.
hitRECord is something that is extremely cool that Joseph Gordon Levitt has started. It's basically a collaboration of people that have certain talents. One person will come up with an idea. Post it on the website The next person will come up with the art work, post it. The next person will come up with the script. Then Joseph Gordon Levitt will use his connections to get voice actors to make it happen. Thinking outside of the box.
Yes, sometimes I do dress exactly how my animated blog picture dresses. Yes, I also look exactly that same as him. This was on purpose. I am the original hipster.
I try to eat healthy. Sometimes though I have to go through the lineup at Sobey's with two bags of chips and some diet pop and feel that I have explain myself with my unhealthy eating choices. "Off to a party." Even though I will be sitting in my boxers eating all dressed chips while drinking out of a 2L Diet Sprite bottle.
Matt Mays is tomorrow night at the Starlight. I will see nobody there, but I still must advertise. Even if I convert one person to good music. It has been worth while.
Sara is alive and well back from Everest Base Camp. For those that ask how I deal with knowing the dangerous situations that she has put herself through. Ask yourself. Have you ever tried to tell Sara what to do?
There aren't very many people that can say that they don't know who Bruce Wayne or Clark Kent is. I know of one This person is older than 5 and younger than 60. How do you live with yourself?
If you don't know the answer to something and are proven wrong. If you still use a certain truly arrogant tone of voice you can still get away without being called out. You will come across as a douche bag. But you will not be questioned.
I am purchasing Michael Jackson's red jacket from the Thriller video. You cannot stop me from doing this you can only embrace me. Attempt to keep up with the vapor trail that my white socks leave and you will be sent back to your seat with your headphones on that you didn't even know that you were wearing that has Smashmouth playing.
Reverse Polarity is next weekend. You have two seconds to guess what this is. This is a Doctor Who convention. If you were correct you will receive one sip of my warm Old English.
Blackberry Messenger is available in Android and Iphone. "What? This is the absolute best day of my life. It took them so long. I need to start messaging my friends immediately. Oh that's a hilarious cat video. I would never see this on Facebook. Ah my life is now complete again. How did I live without this for soooooo looooong!"
Going to see the Rangers tonight. Received tickets from my father that are just a few rows off of the ice. What's the best part of this evening? You can bring your drink to your seat now.
Halloween party's and costumes will be out in abundance this coming weekend. There are three types of women's costumes that are the most common.
3 - The Couples Costume. (We will look so cute together)
2 - The Smart/Sharp Costume. (I have never seen this done before. eg. Firefox, blue screen of death)
1 - The I Can Dress Like a Slut and No One Can Judge Me Costume (Pretty self explanatory)
I have received an overwhelming amount of support of me coming over to people's houses cooking them dinner and drinking their booze while sharing my infinite amount of wisdom. People are going to be so disappointed when my only wisdom is to not wear socks with sandles.
hitRECord is something that is extremely cool that Joseph Gordon Levitt has started. It's basically a collaboration of people that have certain talents. One person will come up with an idea. Post it on the website The next person will come up with the art work, post it. The next person will come up with the script. Then Joseph Gordon Levitt will use his connections to get voice actors to make it happen. Thinking outside of the box.
Yes, sometimes I do dress exactly how my animated blog picture dresses. Yes, I also look exactly that same as him. This was on purpose. I am the original hipster.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Recently went to Oktoberfest. First time I have been in quite a while. Retrotoberfest which is all 80's and 90's music is quite a bit better then polka. If I have to hear the bird dance song one more time I am going develop a fireball in my hands and throw it at you.
Recently someone at my work was asked if they knew who BB King was. Their response was the following. Isn't that a new BBQ restaurant?
Story:
Lady: Do you carry a really small USB thing?
Me: Yes, we carry USB flash drives.
Lady: Is 8GB the smallest?
Me: Yes, it's on sale for $7.99.
Lady: Why don't you guys carry anything smaller? You forget about the people that just need it for a file or two.
Me: You don't have to use all 8GB.
Lady: I am going to keep looking around.
Another solid conversation with the Cambridge Folk.
Well the Oakland A's and Pittsburgh Pirates were both put out in their game 5's. The Philadelphia Flyers look absolutely horrible, and Green Bay lost two of their best receivers this past week. Can we go back to a week ago when I had so much hope?
The Way Way Back - 9.6/10
What a fantastic movie. Gives you that same feeling that you have when you watch Little Miss Sunshine. Steve Carell is fantastic, but Sam Rockwell steals the movie. There are not enough adjectives to describe how amazing this movie is. Watch it tonight. The power of the Smith compels you.
I am pleased that I can pull off the Tony Stark look without flinching. Nothing better than portraying an egotistical, boozing, witty Robert Downey Jr character. It's good that I don't look like Aquaman.
I don't like when somebody approaches me and says. "I have seen things." Then their eyes look off into the distance past my left ear.
Sara's brother and his wife have just left for an around the world journey. They will be gone for five months. If you are wondering. Yes, being an awesome traveler is part of the Dhooma genetics.
Was stopped at a ride program near my place the other night. When you go through the ride program they give you a coupon book that has deals at local businesses. If you get a DUI do you still get the coupon book?
Of Montreal - Lousy with Syvianbriar - 8.1/10
Of Montreal it's nice to see you come back to earth with your music. You were lost in space for many of years. Were you drawn back in with the sounds of such lovely albums of this year? This has been a great year for music. My top 5 is going to be difficult to write this year.
Dogman is not a good super hero. If you are put on the spot to make up a super hero don't say Dogman.
Cougars like my dance moves. Cougars are also very hard on me. They told me to keep dancing way past my daily stamina limit.
Top 3 times where I miss smoking cigarettes that don't involve sex.
3 - Thanksgiving Dinner
2 - Morning Coffee
1 - Sex - Come on man, this is an obvious number 1.
Some people are embarrassed of their names. When I enter their names into our computer I always tell them to spell it out to me slowly even if I know how to spell it. Is that evil?
Recently someone at my work was asked if they knew who BB King was. Their response was the following. Isn't that a new BBQ restaurant?
Story:
Lady: Do you carry a really small USB thing?
Me: Yes, we carry USB flash drives.
Lady: Is 8GB the smallest?
Me: Yes, it's on sale for $7.99.
Lady: Why don't you guys carry anything smaller? You forget about the people that just need it for a file or two.
Me: You don't have to use all 8GB.
Lady: I am going to keep looking around.
Another solid conversation with the Cambridge Folk.
Well the Oakland A's and Pittsburgh Pirates were both put out in their game 5's. The Philadelphia Flyers look absolutely horrible, and Green Bay lost two of their best receivers this past week. Can we go back to a week ago when I had so much hope?
The Way Way Back - 9.6/10
What a fantastic movie. Gives you that same feeling that you have when you watch Little Miss Sunshine. Steve Carell is fantastic, but Sam Rockwell steals the movie. There are not enough adjectives to describe how amazing this movie is. Watch it tonight. The power of the Smith compels you.
I am pleased that I can pull off the Tony Stark look without flinching. Nothing better than portraying an egotistical, boozing, witty Robert Downey Jr character. It's good that I don't look like Aquaman.
I don't like when somebody approaches me and says. "I have seen things." Then their eyes look off into the distance past my left ear.
Sara's brother and his wife have just left for an around the world journey. They will be gone for five months. If you are wondering. Yes, being an awesome traveler is part of the Dhooma genetics.
Was stopped at a ride program near my place the other night. When you go through the ride program they give you a coupon book that has deals at local businesses. If you get a DUI do you still get the coupon book?
Of Montreal - Lousy with Syvianbriar - 8.1/10
Of Montreal it's nice to see you come back to earth with your music. You were lost in space for many of years. Were you drawn back in with the sounds of such lovely albums of this year? This has been a great year for music. My top 5 is going to be difficult to write this year.
Dogman is not a good super hero. If you are put on the spot to make up a super hero don't say Dogman.
Cougars like my dance moves. Cougars are also very hard on me. They told me to keep dancing way past my daily stamina limit.
Top 3 times where I miss smoking cigarettes that don't involve sex.
3 - Thanksgiving Dinner
2 - Morning Coffee
1 - Sex - Come on man, this is an obvious number 1.
Some people are embarrassed of their names. When I enter their names into our computer I always tell them to spell it out to me slowly even if I know how to spell it. Is that evil?
Monday, October 7, 2013
How can I cheer for teams that have such great management? A's (Billy Beane,) Pirates (Neil Huntington,) and Packers (Ted Thompson.) Then cheer for a team that has the absolute worst management. Flyers (Paul Holmgren) They should have fired both Holmgren and Laviolette. It's only a matter of time before Holmgren goes. And I say good riddance. Ilya Bryzgalov? Come on man.
Sorry Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. Somebody should have pulled the plug on your buddy comedy. I still think my perfect job would be for people to show me movies and I decide whether it will make money or not. I think this job might be called studio head. How do I get this job?
The Internship - 5.6/10
There is no worse feeling than buying a pumpkin cheesecake, and forgetting to take a slice of it for yourself. You forget glorious things when there is a fridge full of Heineken waiting there shining direct sunlight into the soul of your liver.
Great video and great song. Yes! I do bash this band quite a bit, but I must give credit where credit is due.
Tried to get my passport photos done recently. Didn't realize that it was national bring your children to get their photos done on Friday. "Smile, no don't go over there. If you stay here you will get McDonald's after. Don't put your finger there. Smile! Yes, stay still! No, just like you were there. No, Come back!" I wanted to buy a coffee for the parents and tell them that everything was going to be alright.
Only Tony Romo could get roasted for throwing for 500 plus yards, 5 TD's, but throw a costly pick in the 4th. Just a heads up Dallas fans. If you score 48 points you should win the game. I can guarantee that Aaron Rodgers wouldn't get any flack for the same game. Poor Tony!
Homeland takes off right where it left off. If you aren't watching this show. No witty response, you just should be.
Too many real estate people's faces on buses. What's the steps for awesome realtors? If you are alright you get park benches. If you are amazing you get the side of a city bus.
One week since Sara has been gone to Everest. The trek has been difficult I have heard. The elevation is the main difficulty. Just a small update of life and times of Sara Dhooma.
Ordered a few jerseys online from this website. www.aliexpress.com. They have every jersey you can possibly imagine. When I receive my jerseys I will give a review. I paid $98.00 for all three. We will see once I get them how good the quality is. It's probably knitted together with yarn..
Josh Donaldson - Green 20 (Oakland A's)
Pedro Alvarez - Black 24 (Pittsburgh Pirates)
Claude Giroux - Orange 28 (The once powerful, now awful Philadelphia Flyers)
How much baseball can you watch in one day? I watched 9 hours consecutively. It was pretty gross. I managed to make a meal for myself. I was itching for pizza though. When you are being lazy, you might as well go all out, and become a fat lazy ass.
I have cured myself of falling asleep while sitting up. I now lay down on the couch instead. All you have to do is position your body horizontally instead of vertically. What a concept!
Top 3 bands that would look shockingly awesome with a tall bass.
3 - Metallica
2 - Led Zeppelin
1 - Judas Priest
I was called a Diva recently. I think this was unnecessary and unwarranted. Now give me my mocha-choca half skim, half soy, without whipped, caramel latte.
How many times have you used the joke "people think I eat too many chocolate bars" to somebody that has unexpected acne?
Went to a Bryan Adams concert when I was quite a bit younger. Prototypical concert for Bryan Adams. Him and his guitarist were wearing white jeans. Bryan's jeans had "Bad" written across his ass. The guitarist has "Ass" written across his ass. This was the highlight of the concert.
Sorry Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. Somebody should have pulled the plug on your buddy comedy. I still think my perfect job would be for people to show me movies and I decide whether it will make money or not. I think this job might be called studio head. How do I get this job?
The Internship - 5.6/10
There is no worse feeling than buying a pumpkin cheesecake, and forgetting to take a slice of it for yourself. You forget glorious things when there is a fridge full of Heineken waiting there shining direct sunlight into the soul of your liver.
Great video and great song. Yes! I do bash this band quite a bit, but I must give credit where credit is due.
Tried to get my passport photos done recently. Didn't realize that it was national bring your children to get their photos done on Friday. "Smile, no don't go over there. If you stay here you will get McDonald's after. Don't put your finger there. Smile! Yes, stay still! No, just like you were there. No, Come back!" I wanted to buy a coffee for the parents and tell them that everything was going to be alright.
Only Tony Romo could get roasted for throwing for 500 plus yards, 5 TD's, but throw a costly pick in the 4th. Just a heads up Dallas fans. If you score 48 points you should win the game. I can guarantee that Aaron Rodgers wouldn't get any flack for the same game. Poor Tony!
Homeland takes off right where it left off. If you aren't watching this show. No witty response, you just should be.
Too many real estate people's faces on buses. What's the steps for awesome realtors? If you are alright you get park benches. If you are amazing you get the side of a city bus.
One week since Sara has been gone to Everest. The trek has been difficult I have heard. The elevation is the main difficulty. Just a small update of life and times of Sara Dhooma.
Ordered a few jerseys online from this website. www.aliexpress.com. They have every jersey you can possibly imagine. When I receive my jerseys I will give a review. I paid $98.00 for all three. We will see once I get them how good the quality is. It's probably knitted together with yarn..
Josh Donaldson - Green 20 (Oakland A's)
Pedro Alvarez - Black 24 (Pittsburgh Pirates)
Claude Giroux - Orange 28 (The once powerful, now awful Philadelphia Flyers)
How much baseball can you watch in one day? I watched 9 hours consecutively. It was pretty gross. I managed to make a meal for myself. I was itching for pizza though. When you are being lazy, you might as well go all out, and become a fat lazy ass.
I have cured myself of falling asleep while sitting up. I now lay down on the couch instead. All you have to do is position your body horizontally instead of vertically. What a concept!
Top 3 bands that would look shockingly awesome with a tall bass.
3 - Metallica
2 - Led Zeppelin
1 - Judas Priest
I was called a Diva recently. I think this was unnecessary and unwarranted. Now give me my mocha-choca half skim, half soy, without whipped, caramel latte.
How many times have you used the joke "people think I eat too many chocolate bars" to somebody that has unexpected acne?
Went to a Bryan Adams concert when I was quite a bit younger. Prototypical concert for Bryan Adams. Him and his guitarist were wearing white jeans. Bryan's jeans had "Bad" written across his ass. The guitarist has "Ass" written across his ass. This was the highlight of the concert.
Monday, September 30, 2013
True Story - Was at a medical office recently. While sitting there one of the nurses comes out with a confused look on her face.
"Is there a la-a here?" She pronounces it la "pause" a. She repeats it again. A bigger African American lady stands up and says with attitude. "It's pronounced Ladasha." Mind blown!
Doesn't it feel like Adrian Peterson is turning into the next Barry Sanders. Poor guy is in the prime of his career. Best running back on the planet, and you give him a combination of Christian Ponder and Matt Cassel to work with?
Finally Microsoft has combated Apple's original commercials. Saw this commercial recently and thought it was pretty good.
Where in the world is Sara Dhooma? She is currently in Nepal, about to hike Mt. Everest base camp. What are you doing today?
The Pittsburgh Pirates are going to the playoffs. I will be at Allstar Wings and Ribs on Highland in Kitchener to watch the game for anybody that wants to join me. Just look for the dude with wing sauce all over his face, and tears of happiness running down his face. It will also probably be the guy sitting by himself.
Sasquatch's are utilized in most commercials properly.
I have rarely seen a following to a show similar to the one I saw for Breaking Bad. It was very cool to see this. Especially for such a well written, beautifully directed piece of Television. Now if we could only get music on board with what's going with Television. Let's sing along. Everything popular in music is still shitty.
Veal Stew
3tbsp of olive oil, saute onions, garlic, and carrots. Add cubed veal, and cook till brown. Add 1/2 cup of white wine and one can of tomato sauce. Add salt and pepper for flavour. Simmer for an hour on low heat. Add two potatoes cubed to the stew. Simmer for another half hour or until carrots and potatoes are cooked through. Enjoy with naan bread.
One thing that I have hard time getting over is that my face goes bright red when being put on the spot. I would be a terrible criminal. This is another one of my terrible X-Men powers. This goes well with having to go to bathroom when I sense danger.
Top 3 things that will make you look like a douchebag
3 - Wearing a bluetooth headset inside a retail establishment
2 - Driving your car ridiculously fast around a retail parking lot.
1 - Wearing a UFC hat without a bent peak, while having it barely sit on top of your head.
If the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Oakland A's meet in the World Series. Oh I would just die.
They should make all the intelligent, kind, generous, talented men give sperm for the next generation of the human race. I have seen the future, and the number one television show in the future is called "Ow, my balls!" All rights reserved to the wonderful movie called "Idiocracy."
Things would be a lot easier if people actually did have a light bulb turn on above their head when they have a great idea.
Now You See Me - 6.0/10
Recently started physiotherapy and massage therapy for my left shoulder. As most of you probably know at one time in my brilliant career I was a starting pitcher for the Listowel Legionnaires. I was a grizzled veteran that threw only junk at the age of 21. I wore a Pink Floyd jean jacket out to the mound, and came out to Hells Bells by AC/DC. I am pretty sure that I probably had a smoke in my mouth when I entered the game as well. This all sounds extremely tough I know. I also only threw about 65 MPH. This might have taken some of the toughness away. But it's all about deception in division "D" baseball.
"Is there a la-a here?" She pronounces it la "pause" a. She repeats it again. A bigger African American lady stands up and says with attitude. "It's pronounced Ladasha." Mind blown!
Doesn't it feel like Adrian Peterson is turning into the next Barry Sanders. Poor guy is in the prime of his career. Best running back on the planet, and you give him a combination of Christian Ponder and Matt Cassel to work with?
Finally Microsoft has combated Apple's original commercials. Saw this commercial recently and thought it was pretty good.
Where in the world is Sara Dhooma? She is currently in Nepal, about to hike Mt. Everest base camp. What are you doing today?
The Pittsburgh Pirates are going to the playoffs. I will be at Allstar Wings and Ribs on Highland in Kitchener to watch the game for anybody that wants to join me. Just look for the dude with wing sauce all over his face, and tears of happiness running down his face. It will also probably be the guy sitting by himself.
Sasquatch's are utilized in most commercials properly.
I have rarely seen a following to a show similar to the one I saw for Breaking Bad. It was very cool to see this. Especially for such a well written, beautifully directed piece of Television. Now if we could only get music on board with what's going with Television. Let's sing along. Everything popular in music is still shitty.
Veal Stew
3tbsp of olive oil, saute onions, garlic, and carrots. Add cubed veal, and cook till brown. Add 1/2 cup of white wine and one can of tomato sauce. Add salt and pepper for flavour. Simmer for an hour on low heat. Add two potatoes cubed to the stew. Simmer for another half hour or until carrots and potatoes are cooked through. Enjoy with naan bread.
One thing that I have hard time getting over is that my face goes bright red when being put on the spot. I would be a terrible criminal. This is another one of my terrible X-Men powers. This goes well with having to go to bathroom when I sense danger.
Top 3 things that will make you look like a douchebag
3 - Wearing a bluetooth headset inside a retail establishment
2 - Driving your car ridiculously fast around a retail parking lot.
1 - Wearing a UFC hat without a bent peak, while having it barely sit on top of your head.
If the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Oakland A's meet in the World Series. Oh I would just die.
They should make all the intelligent, kind, generous, talented men give sperm for the next generation of the human race. I have seen the future, and the number one television show in the future is called "Ow, my balls!" All rights reserved to the wonderful movie called "Idiocracy."
Things would be a lot easier if people actually did have a light bulb turn on above their head when they have a great idea.
Now You See Me - 6.0/10
Recently started physiotherapy and massage therapy for my left shoulder. As most of you probably know at one time in my brilliant career I was a starting pitcher for the Listowel Legionnaires. I was a grizzled veteran that threw only junk at the age of 21. I wore a Pink Floyd jean jacket out to the mound, and came out to Hells Bells by AC/DC. I am pretty sure that I probably had a smoke in my mouth when I entered the game as well. This all sounds extremely tough I know. I also only threw about 65 MPH. This might have taken some of the toughness away. But it's all about deception in division "D" baseball.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
I was told recently that kids in High School are having their upcoming assignments and tests sent to their parents to make sure that they are studying for them. "Here comes the airplane, make sure you eat all your vegetables, do you want me to go to your job interview for you today honey? Don't worry, you just play Grand Theft Auto, Mommy will take care of everything." Sounds like they should succeed just fine in the real world.
Oakland needs to relax. There is a good chance that if they pass the Red Sox that they won't be playing the Tigers in the first round. Now that's fine and dandy that they won't have to face Verlander and Scherzer in the first two games, but Daryl won't be able to see the games if they are in Tampa. Well???? It actually might be cheaper to fly to Tampa, and pay $4.00 per ticket there. Hmmmm, interesting!!!
Bryan Cranston loses best actor to Jeff Daniels? With one glare from Bryan Cranston, Jeff Daniels turns into his character from Dumb and Dumber and has to go to the bathroom.
Here's an update on what Sara has been up to recently. She won $7200 on a game show called Spin Off that was on TV last week. She leaves for Nepal this coming Saturday. She is also currently working on the cure for Scurvy. She has it narrowed down to Vitamin C and High C juice.
Monopoly started back up at McDonald's. Here's the time that I compensate by eating the healthiest dinners so I can eat the unhealthiest breakfast each and every day. It's all worth it for that one cheeseburger that I get free every two weeks.
Phil Kessel - if you would prefer not to fight a 6'8" giant. Don't run your mouth off. Sometimes I enjoy when this type of stuff happens. It triggers my pure hatred for the Toronto Maple Leafs.
The pure definition of you do absolutely nothing job Social Media Director for a company.
Funny video about the new Iphone.
I never thought it was odd that I was getting my haircut at the place where I currently get my haircut until I actually looked around the room and realized that I was the only customer they had under the age of 60. This might be why my hair looks like Christoper Reeves from Superman.
Top 3 ways to break through a wooden fence that people will enjoy to watch.
3 - Kicking through a fence with steel toed boots on
2 - Freaking out on it with a baseball bat
1 - Putting your head through it, and then looking at the person on the other side like Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds.
Nicknames are starting to become a thing of the past. Nicknames need to stick around. There is nothing better than coming up with a nickname that perfectly suits a persons personality. Mine for example is the Master.
Let me save you some time for those that are looking for a new show to watch.
Sleepy Hollow - Would rather put down 6 chips in line on the floor and eat them in a straight line like a dog.
Under the Dome - Are the NY Jets and Jacksonville Jaguars on instead?
Top of the Lake - Like finding that Reece Pieces candy in the middle of the trail mix bag. Fantastic show if you don't understand the reference. Or if you really enjoy the bark in a trail mix bag.
Have you ever seen someone dragged away from a conversation by their ear? I don't think that even happened in the real world.
Is their anything more frustrating than attempting to put the thread through that little hole in a needle. Not that I have done this in 10 years, but having to look at Sara's sewing kit reminds me of grade 9 trying to make a fabric football with the Edmonton Eskimos team colours and being frustrated after it was all over. For some reason I sweat quite a bit more than usual when trying to thread a needle.
Oakland needs to relax. There is a good chance that if they pass the Red Sox that they won't be playing the Tigers in the first round. Now that's fine and dandy that they won't have to face Verlander and Scherzer in the first two games, but Daryl won't be able to see the games if they are in Tampa. Well???? It actually might be cheaper to fly to Tampa, and pay $4.00 per ticket there. Hmmmm, interesting!!!
Bryan Cranston loses best actor to Jeff Daniels? With one glare from Bryan Cranston, Jeff Daniels turns into his character from Dumb and Dumber and has to go to the bathroom.
Here's an update on what Sara has been up to recently. She won $7200 on a game show called Spin Off that was on TV last week. She leaves for Nepal this coming Saturday. She is also currently working on the cure for Scurvy. She has it narrowed down to Vitamin C and High C juice.
Monopoly started back up at McDonald's. Here's the time that I compensate by eating the healthiest dinners so I can eat the unhealthiest breakfast each and every day. It's all worth it for that one cheeseburger that I get free every two weeks.
Phil Kessel - if you would prefer not to fight a 6'8" giant. Don't run your mouth off. Sometimes I enjoy when this type of stuff happens. It triggers my pure hatred for the Toronto Maple Leafs.
The pure definition of you do absolutely nothing job Social Media Director for a company.
Funny video about the new Iphone.
I never thought it was odd that I was getting my haircut at the place where I currently get my haircut until I actually looked around the room and realized that I was the only customer they had under the age of 60. This might be why my hair looks like Christoper Reeves from Superman.
Top 3 ways to break through a wooden fence that people will enjoy to watch.
3 - Kicking through a fence with steel toed boots on
2 - Freaking out on it with a baseball bat
1 - Putting your head through it, and then looking at the person on the other side like Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds.
Nicknames are starting to become a thing of the past. Nicknames need to stick around. There is nothing better than coming up with a nickname that perfectly suits a persons personality. Mine for example is the Master.
Let me save you some time for those that are looking for a new show to watch.
Sleepy Hollow - Would rather put down 6 chips in line on the floor and eat them in a straight line like a dog.
Under the Dome - Are the NY Jets and Jacksonville Jaguars on instead?
Top of the Lake - Like finding that Reece Pieces candy in the middle of the trail mix bag. Fantastic show if you don't understand the reference. Or if you really enjoy the bark in a trail mix bag.
Have you ever seen someone dragged away from a conversation by their ear? I don't think that even happened in the real world.
Is their anything more frustrating than attempting to put the thread through that little hole in a needle. Not that I have done this in 10 years, but having to look at Sara's sewing kit reminds me of grade 9 trying to make a fabric football with the Edmonton Eskimos team colours and being frustrated after it was all over. For some reason I sweat quite a bit more than usual when trying to thread a needle.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Recently went to a pub in Kitchener that serves up local fine craft beer. And no, this place is not called Imbibe. It's called The Bent Elbow. They have 23 beers on tap at any given time and have fairly decent food as well. The best part about the pub is that in the men's washroom they have a urinal, and the handle of the urinal is a Bud Light handle. If you don't understand the reference there is a good chance that Bud Light is your beer of choice. Never had such a good time in a men's washroom. That came across awful, but still needed to be said.
What is with all the Nintendo stats in the NFL this year. Multiple 400 yd passing games. Receivers breaking 150 yds on a consistent basis. I guess it makes for exciting football, but it's looking an awful lot like the CFL out there right now.
This is the End - 9.5/10
What a wonderful movie. Each Hollywood star portraying an extreme version of them self. Danny McBride, Michael Cera, and Emma Watson are all fantastic.
You have all seen the homeless dudes at the light posts at busy intersections. It is never the same homeless dude though. Do they have shifts? "You get the light post from 8-10am and I will take it from 10-12pm." Is there a chain of command? Don't take Larry's light post at 7am if you know what's good for you. I saw him whisker rub somebody to death once."
Made tacos last night, and felt the strange urge to fry the vegetables instead of putting them on top at the end. What a brilliant move, my only brilliant move of the day. Fried onions and green peppers are absolutely phenomenal on tacos. It had my mouth watering similar to Lindsay Lohan's mouth when she thinks about mixing cars and alcohol together.
Last night was the last co-ed slopitch game of the year. I was the last out on a terrible pitch to swing at. I might as well have taken a nine iron out attempted to hit the ball with that. There is nothing tougher than a man yelling "shoot" at the top of his lungs because of his consideration for children.
Driving to Pittsburgh for a baseball playoff game. Would anyone like to join me? Only serious applicants should apply.
Went for a massage recently. There is something in the man's brain that will never say that something hurts too much. My masseuse is a very strong woman.
Top 3 foods that I have been missing out on until I was exposed to the beauty of them, and regret not trying or loving them earlier.
3 - Horse Radish
2 - Mahi Mahi and just about everything fish related, but especially Mahi Mahi fish.
1 - Everything Indian food.
This is going to be the next huge thing on the intranets. You heard it here first. Actually it might already be a huge thing, but I would like to look sharp here.
When there is a Doritos bag around your sitting area it might be the hardest thing of all time to not open the bag and start eating them. Even if it's 8am there's a good chance that I will open the bag and eat at least three until I realize what I am doing. I will then eat one more and put the bag down. My brain with then tell my mouth that it's OK to have just one more. Then it goes in the cupboard so I don't have to look at them anymore.
Watched the documentary Black Fish recently. This is a documentary about Killer Whales being in the possession of aquariums and having children and adults riding them, and having them do tricks for food. In this case ignorance is not bliss.
Arctic Monkey's - AM - 8.0/10
Washed Out - Pharacosm - 8.3/10
It's been years since I really enjoyed something that the Arctic Monkey's put out. This album has quite a bit of their earlier sound incorporated into it, but sounds a little more grown up and spread out through the record. Solid, solid, solid!!!
Own a leather jacket that has fur around the neck. I am not sure what the fur is made of, but my neck has a rash on it after I wear this thing for more than an hour. Sometimes a rash is worth looking absolutely fantastic for a small amount of time.
Here's a way that you don't sell your establishment having your Christmas Party. "We will put out the buffet on the pool tables."
There is nothing your brain will hate more for than you sniffing on a magic marker because you like the smell.
What is with all the Nintendo stats in the NFL this year. Multiple 400 yd passing games. Receivers breaking 150 yds on a consistent basis. I guess it makes for exciting football, but it's looking an awful lot like the CFL out there right now.
This is the End - 9.5/10
What a wonderful movie. Each Hollywood star portraying an extreme version of them self. Danny McBride, Michael Cera, and Emma Watson are all fantastic.
You have all seen the homeless dudes at the light posts at busy intersections. It is never the same homeless dude though. Do they have shifts? "You get the light post from 8-10am and I will take it from 10-12pm." Is there a chain of command? Don't take Larry's light post at 7am if you know what's good for you. I saw him whisker rub somebody to death once."
Made tacos last night, and felt the strange urge to fry the vegetables instead of putting them on top at the end. What a brilliant move, my only brilliant move of the day. Fried onions and green peppers are absolutely phenomenal on tacos. It had my mouth watering similar to Lindsay Lohan's mouth when she thinks about mixing cars and alcohol together.
Last night was the last co-ed slopitch game of the year. I was the last out on a terrible pitch to swing at. I might as well have taken a nine iron out attempted to hit the ball with that. There is nothing tougher than a man yelling "shoot" at the top of his lungs because of his consideration for children.
Driving to Pittsburgh for a baseball playoff game. Would anyone like to join me? Only serious applicants should apply.
Went for a massage recently. There is something in the man's brain that will never say that something hurts too much. My masseuse is a very strong woman.
Top 3 foods that I have been missing out on until I was exposed to the beauty of them, and regret not trying or loving them earlier.
3 - Horse Radish
2 - Mahi Mahi and just about everything fish related, but especially Mahi Mahi fish.
1 - Everything Indian food.
This is going to be the next huge thing on the intranets. You heard it here first. Actually it might already be a huge thing, but I would like to look sharp here.
When there is a Doritos bag around your sitting area it might be the hardest thing of all time to not open the bag and start eating them. Even if it's 8am there's a good chance that I will open the bag and eat at least three until I realize what I am doing. I will then eat one more and put the bag down. My brain with then tell my mouth that it's OK to have just one more. Then it goes in the cupboard so I don't have to look at them anymore.
Watched the documentary Black Fish recently. This is a documentary about Killer Whales being in the possession of aquariums and having children and adults riding them, and having them do tricks for food. In this case ignorance is not bliss.
Arctic Monkey's - AM - 8.0/10
Washed Out - Pharacosm - 8.3/10
It's been years since I really enjoyed something that the Arctic Monkey's put out. This album has quite a bit of their earlier sound incorporated into it, but sounds a little more grown up and spread out through the record. Solid, solid, solid!!!
Own a leather jacket that has fur around the neck. I am not sure what the fur is made of, but my neck has a rash on it after I wear this thing for more than an hour. Sometimes a rash is worth looking absolutely fantastic for a small amount of time.
Here's a way that you don't sell your establishment having your Christmas Party. "We will put out the buffet on the pool tables."
There is nothing your brain will hate more for than you sniffing on a magic marker because you like the smell.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Went to the Toronto International Film Festival to see Oculus starring Karen Gillan and Katee Sackhoff last night. Katee Sackhoff was at the opening, as were a few of the other actors that were in the movie. Fantastic creepy movie, that had a real Shining feel to it.
Oculus - 8.9/10
World War Z - 5.5/10
One thing that I noticed about hipsters that I hadn't realized before. They don't laugh. They are generally trying to be wittier than the other person within the conversation. The wittiness bar just increases and increases with no actual laughter. It is tiring being with hipsters.
Driving home from Toronto there is nothing scarier than seeing those construction arrows cutting down the highway down to one lane. It was actually more terrifying than the movie. We got through the construction unscathed, but being in a traffic jam at 3am is one of my worst nightmares.
Matt Mays is playing an acoustic set later on in September at the Starlight for anybody that would like to join me in seeing him.
There are some contests that I was entering recently. Having dinner with Justin Trudeau was one of them. You are asked to donate to the Liberal party after you have entered the contest. Is there anything worse than you can give your money to than a political party? There are 6789 different charities that are more deserving of my money.
Bacon Wrapped Meatloaf, just thought I would throw that out there.
Why are there burgers that now have french fries on it? Fries are always the side anyways. Do you not have time to make two separate hand motions? Maybe we should also throw the coke in there as well.
Sara was telling me that there are countries that she has visited that you can pay money to throw a grenade and blow up livestock. I know that this isn't funny, but I still laughed. Just the thought of blowing up a cow makes me laugh.
Oh the poor karaoke people that can't actually sing, but believe they can sing. You poor souls. "Oh, yes, bring up Frank again. Oh he's going to sing Paradise by the Dashboard Lights? Right on, that's only an eight minute song. I am going to get a drink."
It's week one and my fantasy team has already made me angry.
I sometimes think that I would like to live in Toronto. Then I spend some time there.
Top 3 female athletes that terrify me.
3 - Serena Williams
2 - Venus Williams
1 - The Williams Sisters
At work recently I was talking to a customer that had just had a cigarette. She was talking a little too close to me, and all I could smell was tobacco. After talking to her I felt like I had a cigarette myself. The taste was in my mouth until lunch time. Gum was no match for the stale smoke out of this 50 year old woman that looked like she was 84. She could be a tobacco mouthed Medusa.
Oh those are nice pictures of the sunset in Kitchener. Please show me some more pictures like that.
Watching somebody being dragged by a really fast lawnmower is something that I would like so see in my lifetime.
You always envision a bean bag chair as this comfy thing that you are going to be so productive on. Meanwhile you sit on it for ten minutes. Maneuvering for all ten minutes, and then say this stinks I am going back to the couch. Then it loses it's beads on the floor somehow and you have to clean it up. Don't buy a bean bag chair.
Oculus - 8.9/10
World War Z - 5.5/10
One thing that I noticed about hipsters that I hadn't realized before. They don't laugh. They are generally trying to be wittier than the other person within the conversation. The wittiness bar just increases and increases with no actual laughter. It is tiring being with hipsters.
Driving home from Toronto there is nothing scarier than seeing those construction arrows cutting down the highway down to one lane. It was actually more terrifying than the movie. We got through the construction unscathed, but being in a traffic jam at 3am is one of my worst nightmares.
Matt Mays is playing an acoustic set later on in September at the Starlight for anybody that would like to join me in seeing him.
There are some contests that I was entering recently. Having dinner with Justin Trudeau was one of them. You are asked to donate to the Liberal party after you have entered the contest. Is there anything worse than you can give your money to than a political party? There are 6789 different charities that are more deserving of my money.
Bacon Wrapped Meatloaf, just thought I would throw that out there.
Why are there burgers that now have french fries on it? Fries are always the side anyways. Do you not have time to make two separate hand motions? Maybe we should also throw the coke in there as well.
Sara was telling me that there are countries that she has visited that you can pay money to throw a grenade and blow up livestock. I know that this isn't funny, but I still laughed. Just the thought of blowing up a cow makes me laugh.
Oh the poor karaoke people that can't actually sing, but believe they can sing. You poor souls. "Oh, yes, bring up Frank again. Oh he's going to sing Paradise by the Dashboard Lights? Right on, that's only an eight minute song. I am going to get a drink."
It's week one and my fantasy team has already made me angry.
I sometimes think that I would like to live in Toronto. Then I spend some time there.
Top 3 female athletes that terrify me.
3 - Serena Williams
2 - Venus Williams
1 - The Williams Sisters
At work recently I was talking to a customer that had just had a cigarette. She was talking a little too close to me, and all I could smell was tobacco. After talking to her I felt like I had a cigarette myself. The taste was in my mouth until lunch time. Gum was no match for the stale smoke out of this 50 year old woman that looked like she was 84. She could be a tobacco mouthed Medusa.
Oh those are nice pictures of the sunset in Kitchener. Please show me some more pictures like that.
Watching somebody being dragged by a really fast lawnmower is something that I would like so see in my lifetime.
You always envision a bean bag chair as this comfy thing that you are going to be so productive on. Meanwhile you sit on it for ten minutes. Maneuvering for all ten minutes, and then say this stinks I am going back to the couch. Then it loses it's beads on the floor somehow and you have to clean it up. Don't buy a bean bag chair.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
NFL starts up tomorrow night. The defending Super Bowl Champions start on the road against the Denver Broncos. In Denver they have two giant posters up at Mile High . One of Peyton Manning and one of Joe Flacco. Two things wrong here. Why are the Ravens starting on the road? Why does Denver have a giant poster of Joe Flacco? I am pretty sure that you don't need to advertise NFL football in Denver.
You would think a few things at the age of 35 would subside. One of them would be acne on your face. Getting a pimple on your nose is rough enough as a teenager. As a 35 year old man, I need to grow a patchy beard to show that I shouldn't be working the fry station at a taco bell.
Anybody have another NFL pool for me to join? I am only in about 10 now. It's a part time job for me during the NFL season.
When you come in for a job interview regardless for what it's for. Put some type of effort into it. Jeans and a MMA shirt does not cut it for any job. If you wouldn't hire yourself there is something wrong.
Yes, yes, yes, I finally started watching Breaking Bad. And yes it is as addictive as the meth that they make.
Yes, Bryan Cranston deserves every award he gets. Shaking! "now let me get back to it."
Playing it cool after you tweak your back trying to lift an 18L water bottle is difficult to do. The dude saw how much I was struggling with it. He gave me the "you OK there?" I gave him the "Yeah man, all good just trying to get a better grip."
Didn't like hearing the story about St. Jacobs. Crappy things are going to happen. I wish that we could pick and choose where the crappy things could happen. If one of the Apple buildings burnt down they could probably build another one within 65 seconds.
Saskatchewan - the place where you can watch your dog run away for days.
Looking for hockey equipment. I haven't played hockey in years, but feel that I could be an asset to each and every rec team that is looking for a great beer drinker and somebody that can make them feel better about their own hockey skills.
Top 3 video games that at one point owned the party, and now....
3 - Mario Party
2 - Guitar Hero/Rock Band
1 - Everything Nintendo Wii
I remember going over to people's houses just to play the Wii. If somebody asked me to go over to their house to play their Wii now I would have to come up with an excuse. Maybe that I am knee deep into a game of Operation.
Meanwhile in Japan - They have maid cafe's. The premise of going to these cafe's is that you order a tea or coffee, and a dessert and then play a kids game with a girl that is in their mid 20's that is dressed as a teenager. Everybody gets really excited when you win at the game and you receive a picture with your server. This is weird enough, but being that Sara was pretty much the only girl there and practically everyone that was there was in their 40's it was very odd.
Star Trek - Into Darkness - 7.5/10
42 - 7.7/10
Star Trek wasn't bad, but they ripped off too much story line from the original Wrath of Khan and have very weak female characters in the movies. As far as action goes, it was excellent. Disappointed though overall. Captain Kirk is not as big of a dick as he is portrayed in these movies.
Do you enjoy the cringe worthy interviews when the interviewer is going for the laughs and interviewee doesn't know it's supposed to be funny? Watch the MTV interview with the dude from the National. Painful!
Tough week ahead for those people heading off to College and University. Frosh week has damaged quite a few livers over the years. Don't let yours be next.
I'm tired! The absolute worst way to answer how you are doing. When you are asked how you are doing the person is only asking out of pure politeness. They generally don't really care how you are doing unless you have a positive answer or something actually interesting to tell them. By answering tired you have now made things uncomfortable by making the other person ask why you are tired. This is the beginning of a terrible conversation. Another option you could use is saying something out of the ordinary like that you just ate a submarine sandwich from Mr. Sub and that they have a drug addict that served you. This will be much more interesting for all parties. Thank You, and have a great day.
Daryl Smith MD
You would think a few things at the age of 35 would subside. One of them would be acne on your face. Getting a pimple on your nose is rough enough as a teenager. As a 35 year old man, I need to grow a patchy beard to show that I shouldn't be working the fry station at a taco bell.
Anybody have another NFL pool for me to join? I am only in about 10 now. It's a part time job for me during the NFL season.
When you come in for a job interview regardless for what it's for. Put some type of effort into it. Jeans and a MMA shirt does not cut it for any job. If you wouldn't hire yourself there is something wrong.
Yes, yes, yes, I finally started watching Breaking Bad. And yes it is as addictive as the meth that they make.
Yes, Bryan Cranston deserves every award he gets. Shaking! "now let me get back to it."
Playing it cool after you tweak your back trying to lift an 18L water bottle is difficult to do. The dude saw how much I was struggling with it. He gave me the "you OK there?" I gave him the "Yeah man, all good just trying to get a better grip."
Didn't like hearing the story about St. Jacobs. Crappy things are going to happen. I wish that we could pick and choose where the crappy things could happen. If one of the Apple buildings burnt down they could probably build another one within 65 seconds.
Saskatchewan - the place where you can watch your dog run away for days.
Looking for hockey equipment. I haven't played hockey in years, but feel that I could be an asset to each and every rec team that is looking for a great beer drinker and somebody that can make them feel better about their own hockey skills.
Top 3 video games that at one point owned the party, and now....
3 - Mario Party
2 - Guitar Hero/Rock Band
1 - Everything Nintendo Wii
I remember going over to people's houses just to play the Wii. If somebody asked me to go over to their house to play their Wii now I would have to come up with an excuse. Maybe that I am knee deep into a game of Operation.
Meanwhile in Japan - They have maid cafe's. The premise of going to these cafe's is that you order a tea or coffee, and a dessert and then play a kids game with a girl that is in their mid 20's that is dressed as a teenager. Everybody gets really excited when you win at the game and you receive a picture with your server. This is weird enough, but being that Sara was pretty much the only girl there and practically everyone that was there was in their 40's it was very odd.
Star Trek - Into Darkness - 7.5/10
42 - 7.7/10
Star Trek wasn't bad, but they ripped off too much story line from the original Wrath of Khan and have very weak female characters in the movies. As far as action goes, it was excellent. Disappointed though overall. Captain Kirk is not as big of a dick as he is portrayed in these movies.
Do you enjoy the cringe worthy interviews when the interviewer is going for the laughs and interviewee doesn't know it's supposed to be funny? Watch the MTV interview with the dude from the National. Painful!
Tough week ahead for those people heading off to College and University. Frosh week has damaged quite a few livers over the years. Don't let yours be next.
I'm tired! The absolute worst way to answer how you are doing. When you are asked how you are doing the person is only asking out of pure politeness. They generally don't really care how you are doing unless you have a positive answer or something actually interesting to tell them. By answering tired you have now made things uncomfortable by making the other person ask why you are tired. This is the beginning of a terrible conversation. Another option you could use is saying something out of the ordinary like that you just ate a submarine sandwich from Mr. Sub and that they have a drug addict that served you. This will be much more interesting for all parties. Thank You, and have a great day.
Daryl Smith MD
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
